The Continuing Crisis
THE CONTINUING CRISIS •The longest February in four years staggered into history, as a new theme issued from that din of public hysteria known as The Media, to wit: conservatism's "disarray and...
...By the end of the month Republican Pierre du Pont and Democrat Bruce Babbitt had retired their respective campaigns for the White House, and Mrs...
...India may have hit upon a new form of birth control, namely: democratic politics or that facsimile of it that has been practiced ever since the unhappy termination of the Raj...
...Reagan's budgets since 1980 have shown only a 28 percent increase in food programs for the poor and but a 41 percent increase for poor families with children...
...Average payment in 1987 by the tooth 6 THE AMERICAN SPECTATOR APRIL 1988 fairy soared to $1.00 per tooth, according to the American Academy of Dentistry...
...Yes, but Mr...
...Richard Kozlow, co-founder and vice-president of Organic Farms Inc., the nation's largest distributor of organically-grown food, died at the age of 40, 31.2 years short of the American male's life expectancy...
...In Moscow, authorities reported the January 14 death of the Hon...
...And those who admired his capacity to sweat on the tube should have seen him bawl...
...Economic news continued to glow...
...America already provides ample locations for liberals to soak in degradation without infringing on the rights of others: For instance, one can serve on the faculty of the University of Massachusetts where, after soaking in five deliciously degrading days of student disruption, university chancellor Joseph Duffey capitulated to student demands for higher minority enrollment and ethnic food in the cafeteria...
...So violent did the proceedings become that Prime Minister Rajiv Gandhi dissolved the state government, a measure that should have been taken three decades ago...
...Jessica Vartoughian, is claiming that Mr...
...Austrian President Dr...
...The United States House of Representatives failed to pass the President's $36.2 million contra aid package, which passed the Senate 51-48...
...Georgi M. Malenkov, who went from serving as Stalin's successor for ten days to managing a hydroelectric plant in Central Asia, and Mr...
...For a certitude, conservatives are having their difficulties, but the real political theme the media should be echoing is the same theme that has run through the entire decade, namely: the dissolution of liberalism, a public philosophy that dare not mention its name to the voters and that has not come up with a winsome policy since 1965...
...However, apparently the story took a bizarre twist, for contrary to our earlier report he was not "dressed in plastic clothes and surgical gloves...
...From the Jacobins on the Hill, however, there was a prolonged grumble that Mr...
...Baker, a long-time reader of Ms...
...In October we reported that Mr...
...Jimmy Swaggart, cousin to pop singer Jerry Lee Lewis, bid a lachrymose adieu to his TV audience after word spread that the television evangelist had been photographed Jimmy Bakkering with women of easy virtue...
...As a lay person she had appeared not once, but twice, on the "Donahue Show...
...The expert on sleep disorders who testified on Mr...
...In fact, the authorities have estimated that as many as 300 ladies may have used the comfort station before a particularly fastidious lady noticed his presence...
...Marine, Lieutenant Colonel William Higgins, as he served with a United Nations peace-keeping force in Lebanon...
...Of course, "safety net" programs still account for half again as much spending as defense programs...
...And consider the Democrats...
...magazine, was found girl-watching beneath a ladies' outhouse in Montana de Oro State Park, waist-deep in feminine excrement...
...THE CONTINUING CRISIS •The longest February in four years staggered into history, as a new theme issued from that din of public hysteria known as The Media, to wit: conservatism's "disarray and impotence...
...Nelson Rockefeller, in the company of the mysterious Megan Marshack, secreted himself away to ponder art, only to have the beauty of it overwhelm his heart—leaving him, the champion of Modern Republicanism, at room temperature...
...Kurt Waldheim continues to suffer a catastrophic press...
...His tear ducts produced buckets before his televised apologies abated...
...The Wall Street Journal reported corporate profits increased by 51 percent in the quarter ending December 31...
...And President Ronald Reagan sent his last budget to Capitol Hill where the assembled solons and numas were very grateful that it contained so few controversial proposals...
...Suddenly, it is reported that "the conservatives have had it'!--a news story as vacant of truth as was the early 1980s media hysteria over "the conservatives are running amok everywhere...
...Reagan's administration will be the first since 1960 in which federal spending for poverty programs did not increase faster than all other forms of government spending, making it considerably less profitable to be poor in America...
...Sister Clark, who was a Navy pilot and twice-married father of a son before having his genitalia revised at the Baptist Medical Center in Oklahoma in 1975, has perforce founded her own order, for sisterhoods all over the country rejected her though not necessarily for her anatomical capriciousness...
...M. G. Ramachandran duked it out with the loyal opposition...
...The Rev...
...Paul Jasperson, an AIDS patient, took the owner of a tony Sunset Boulevard toenail clinic to court, arguing that the clinic's refusal to give him what Californians call a "pedicure" was a violation of his civil rights...
...I was just there to soak in it...
...Ploof's behalf was not prosecuted...
...Nicaragua's chief United Nations delegate, Miss Nora Astorga, died of cancer in Managua...
...Surely not all of them expired on that fateful January 26 evening back in 1979 when the Hon...
...If the conservatives have indeed had it, why is it that all candidates for the Republican presidential nomination are sending the Reaganite message, with one inelegant exception, Senator Robert Dole, who is trying to sound like a Gore Vidal for illiterates...
...She is the Sandinista temptress who lured an associate of Anastasio Somoza into her boudoir where his throat was slit—condign punishment that, and progressive Nicaragua's first fully prosecuted sexual harassment case...
...Luigi, a capuchin monkey who had a cameo role in House of the Seven Gables and played piano at New York's Palace Theater, died of a heart attack...
...Phew...
...Annie Hunter of Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, rushed her two pet gerbils to Allegheny General Hospital after they had inhaled carbon monoxide while playing with Mrs...
...Hunter's daughter, Tina...
...Jasper-son's feet presented her highly trained professionals with a health hazard beyond any peril envisaged in the pedicurists' sacred oath, and condoms will be of no help...
...Gary Ploof (pronounced plew'f) guilty of sexual harassment, despite his claim that the act was committed without his consent for he was asleep during its entirety...
...Senator Daniel Inouye of Hawaii has asked fellow giants on Capitol Hill to rescind his famed $8 million federal appropriation for a French school for North African Jews living 8,843 miles from Hawaii...
...Then the worthy liberal declared that the confrontation was a "good education for them [students] and me, as well . . . and we are grateful to you [students] for reminding us of obligations we share as members of a community of learning...
...On the public nuisance front, Miss Joanna Michelle Clark, the only person—despite Admiral Stansfield Turner's boasts—to have served in our military as both a man and a woman, has become Sister Elizabeth Clark, an Episcopalian nun...
...RET THE AMERICAN SPECTATOR APRIL 1988 7...
...Yet, so much more could be spent and so many more taxes could be raised, and America could again experience that happy time in the late 1970s when federal largesse flowed in ever greater abundance to the poverty class and the poverty class grew and grew, and the grinning dunce sat in the White House announcing, "Nothing can be done about it...
...and in Los Angeles Mr...
...Now the historical commission scrutinizing his Nazi past reports that though the former United Nations Secretary General was never an Eichmann or a Barbie, neither was he a critic of their work, and as a lieutenant in Hitler's army he knew of their atrocities...
...Rather he was practically naked and suffering a particularly severe case of liberal guilt, explaining his foul deed by saying, "It seemed like a real degrading thing to do...
...Early in the month, at least thirty people were shot dead in political struggles in the Indian state of Tripura, and another thirty were injured in a melee among lawmakers on the floor of the State Assembly in the state of Tamil Nadu, where partisans of Mr...
...The defendant, Mrs...
...Only sotto voce do they intone their tax & tax, spend & spend cajolery...
...Whatever happened to the Rockefeller Republicans...
...Baker was also invading another's privacy...
...Armed men kidnapped an unarmed U.S...
...On February 4, a Vermont district court jury found Mr...
...If the present Democratic front-runners kiss enough babies, they can indeed return us to those happy days in 1989...
...Following up on an earlier report in this column, registered nurse Donald Herbert Baker, 38, was sentenced to a two-month term by a California court for lewd conduct...
Vol. 21 • April 1988 • No. 4
