The Continuing Crisis
THE CONTINUING CRISIS •June, a month best spent abroad where Italian voters deserted the Communist Party and British voters elected one more Thatcherite government. In Britain a resolute 40 percent...
...closed up shop after twenty-four years of Godlessness...
...Equally effective would be the free distribution of sufficient barrels of spiritous beverage to diminish sexual appetites among these establishments' libidinous clientele...
...In a follow-up to an earlier story reported on this page, Professor John BuettnerJanusch pleaded guilty to sending poisonous Valentine's Day chocolates to the home of Chief U.S...
...In Belgrade, Yugoslavia, Mrs...
...The Food and Drug Administration estimates that as many as 100,000 substandard condoms are recalled by their manufacturers...
...Five million people died in thirty-six armed conflicts during the United Nations' 1986 Year of Peace...
...As of June 14, 94,000 Nicaraguans have been forcibly uprooted by the government as it continues the traditional Communist policy of improving hygiene, literacy, and docility among the proletariat...
...He has since been removed from that university's faculty...
...America needs a Thatcher...
...Representative Patricia Schroeder of Colorado admitted her interest in the Democratic nomination, noting that there are "just an awful lot of things that I could contribute that aren't being said...
...The Algonquin Hotel, one of the city's literary gathering places for over eight decades, has been purchased by a Japanese corporation...
...Gleason counseled that "There is nothing wrong with drinking if you know why you drink...
...Madalyn Murray O'Hair's American Atheists Inc...
...All eaten by tigers," according to Mr...
...Thatcher herself...
...Finally, during President Reagan's regular medical check-up two benign polyps were found in his colon but not, as the wags would have it, the bow tie of a distinguished Washington pundit.—RET...
...For too long in this society, we have celebrated unrestrained individualism over common community," intoned the father of Ashley, Beau, and Hunter—all old family names...
...The New York City Department of Health proposes to distribute free condoms throughout the summer at singles bars, pornographic movie theaters, massage parlors, and sex shops, to emphasize the perils of zoo sex...
...On June 9, Senator Joseph Biden be-winged our spirits by announcing his intention to campaign for the Democratic nomination...
...Professor Buettner-Janusch was imprisoned by Judge Brieant upon being convicted for operating a drug laboratory at New York University...
...I know why I drink...
...There, graduates of the Harvard University School of Public Health injected a new solemnity into the ancient rites by tossing 1,000 condoms into the air as symbols of their resolve in the raging battle for sexual consumerism...
...In Bangladesh the government is offering television sets and other electronic marvels as rewards to local sportsmen who bag 500 or more wild rats (Rattus norvegicus...
...The Rev...
...Falwell has given away the family's dogs and buried all her record albums in boxes somewhere beneath the vastness of this holy place...
...Aleksandar 6 THE AMERICAN SPECTATOR AUGUST 1987 Glisin was charged with attempted murder for putting rat (Rattus rattus) poison in her husband's meatballs...
...In rural Arampur 80 percent of the village's 300 homes have no man...
...In New York City, Bernhard Goetz was acquitted on all counts save one, an illegal gun possession charge...
...Since the Indian government began Project Tiger in 1973, the Indian tiger population has climbed from 1,827 to over 4,000, though that increase has led to a regrettable loss of human life...
...District Court Judge Charles Brieant...
...Mr...
...Directing his remarks to the nation's youth many years ago, Mr...
...Apparently, however, the condom is the preferred instrument of "safe sex," as was demonstrated by Harvard University's bedroom Naderites at the 336th annual commencement exercises at Cambridge, Massachusetts...
...The first anniversary of the closing of Nicaragua's independent newspaper La Prensa was observed very quietly by the American press, as was the Nicaraguan government's program to remove 6,000 villagers to "relocation camps...
...Hall was provoked by a new hairdo his wife had rather recklessly adopted without permission...
...Moreover, as a steady procession of Reaganite loyalists walk the plank at the Iran-contra hearings, it becomes ever more apparent that this White House is now about to fall in with the progressive intelligentsia's view that in the United States of America it should be malum prohibitum to be anti-Communist, as former CIA Director William J. Casey was anti-Communist and Assistant Secretary of State for Inter-American Affairs Elliott Abrams is anti-Communist...
...Jos Verbeek, the director of the United Nations Children's Fund in Belgium, was arrested for running a child pornography ring in the committee's Brussels offices...
...No injuries were reported, though more than one tricep extensor cubiti was imperiled...
...and it may ingratiate him to another bloc in the now aging Roosevelt coalition if we may make the logical deduction that it means that he is also an occasional masturbator...
...Melvin Belli, Mrs...
...Gary Hart's former press secretary revealed the good news that Mr...
...Jackie Gleason, died...
...In Wales, the River Wye Preservation Trust began a campaign to kill off the wild Welsh mink—a predator that has eradicated the water hens and sand martins on the Lower Wye in mid-Wales and even threatened dippers, wagtails, and voles...
...Yet the condom is not without its deficiencies...
...And a model drinker, Mr...
...The American alligator was removed from the endangered species list by the Fish and Wildlife Service, and in India the government's program for saving the Royal Bengal Tiger from extinction has triumphed...
...Surya Kanta Roy, a village leader and outspoken reactionary on the topic of preserving the Royal Bengal...
...Meanwhile in America the intellectual fervor of the Reagan Revolution continues to ebb as the Baker White House lumbers toward arms control with the suave Russians, tax increases with the Democratic gluttons, and imbecilic muddle in Central America...
...Jim Bakker and his lovely wife Tammy Faye returned to their Christian Disneyland, "Heritage USA," for the first time since their PTL Ministry fell into the hands of the devilishly clever Rev...
...Willie Nelson has become a board member of the United Theological Seminary...
...John Holmes, the matinee idol of American pornographic film who claims to have entered into conjugal relations with 14,000 members of the fair sex during an unsurpassed eighteen-year career, retired from acting after surgery for cancer of the colon disfigured him beyond recognition...
...Jerry Falwell...
...Karl W. Hall attempted to drown his wife in the family waterbed before being restrained by his thirteen-year-old son, who had armed himself with a homemade walking stick chosen from the Halls' exquisite collection...
...And Representative Barney Frank, the neoliberal from Massachusetts, might also have designs on the Democratic nomination...
...Alan Greenspan will replace Mr...
...Paul Volcker as Chairman of the Federal Reserve...
...Accompanied by her new lawyer, Mr...
...That lady is Miss Ilona Staller, a porn artiste with a notably libertarian cast of mind, who campaigned topless and won a seat in the Chamber of Deputies on the Reaganite promise to get the government off our backs, or at least out from under our backs...
...Bakker sobbed to reporters that the Rev...
...In Italy, too, a lady pol campaigned on a platform fortified with ideas...
...And Mr...
...Hart will be returning to public life as a "man of ideas," with a series of lectures on "international topics...
...In London, restaurant-goers are boycotting a Leicester Square Chinese restaurant where kitchen help rampaged and, in the words of a member of the British Diplomatic Service, "clubbed" diners as though they were "baby seals...
...Of all the large police departments in the nation, the Dallas Police Department was again ranked first in per capita use of deadly force...
...Sixteen other arrests have been made...
...Supreme Court Justice Lewis Powell resigned on June 26...
...and the Taxi and Limousine Commission is preparing a dress code for the city's cab drivers...
...In Britain a resolute 40 percent of the electorate responded to the lucidities of Thatcherism as coolly enunciated by Mrs...
...Mr...
...Michael Jackson, the American soprano, was scotched in his attempt to purchase from London Hospital the remains of the nineteenth-century Elephant Man, which he wanted for his home...
...I drink to get bagged...
...and in Brooksville, Florida, Mr...
...His recent admission that he is a homosexual assures him the support of one of his party's most vociferous voting blocs...
Vol. 20 • August 1987 • No. 8
