The Continuing Crisis

THE CONTINUING CRISIS •April passed, and only 560 demonstrators were arrested in front of CIA headquarters in Langley, Virginia. Doubtless there would have been 562, but Miss Amy Carter and her...

...Jean-Baptiste Doumeng, the wealthiest Communist in France, died of natural causes...
...The moribund career of Mr...
...Doubtless there would have been 562, but Miss Amy Carter and her grizzled boyfriend, Mr...
...In London, Mr...
...Bernhard Goetz, the neoconservative activist, went on trial in New York for taking four hoodlums seriously late in 1984...
...Were the song to gain a national audience, the Governor feared it might retard Illinois's tourist trade by giving the impression that the state abounds with young morons...
...Ed Rosenthal, the American author of Marijuana Grower's Guide...
...The stock market began to slide...
...The Red Army increased its pressure on Afghan nationalists, bombing Afghan villages and suspected nationalist camps within Pakistan...
...The Hash Info Museum draws heavily on exhibits loaned to it by the eminent Mr...
...The numbers continue to mount with no end in sight...
...In Amsterdam the first museum devoted exclusively to cannabis culture has been opened...
...According to London's authoritative Evening Standard Queen Elizabeth's cousins, Katherine Bowes-Lyon and her sister Nerissa, were not the only members of the royal family to have been surreptitiously filed away in Royal Earlswood Hospital once their eccentricities were adjudged flafla...
...Dutch beekeepers remain irate over their government's sponsorship of an AIDS awareness television spot that makes bees out to be promiscuous practitioners of perverted sex...
...Wynne, while seated on a vacuum toilet aboard a cruise ship one of his patients—a somewhat rotund female—flushed the thing only to have a portion of her posterior violently sucked into the toilet bowl, causing unexpected pain and ruining the cruise for practically everyone once her misfortune was made manifest...
...Finally the chairman of the Commission on California State Government Organization and Economy has revealed that the University of California at Berkeley was "the No...
...Conservatives led by Tory councillor Mr...
...It was another proud chapter for the Girl Scouts of America when rescuers in Norton, Kansas retrieved the automobile of Nellie and Orville Obendorf from a snowbank and heard nothing but encomia from the couple about that one box of Girl Scout cookies that sustained them for thirteen otherwise uneventful days...
...Henceforth cigarette smoke may not issue from one's lungs in taxis, limousines, public buildings, almost any place save the living room of Mr...
...God knows how many children were listening...
...successfully scotched a state-sponsored song meant to awaken Illinoisians to the peril of unsheathed sexual contact...
...Irving Kristol who have sworn to resist government forces at least until they execute an orderly withdrawal to Washington, D.C...
...John Higgins's parakeet as Mr...
...A Chinese version of Disneyland opened on April 18, and even the Dutch are feeling the pressure of American cultural exports...
...And Mr...
...A bee doesn't come to a flower for sex...
...Aiming for maximum dramatic effect, Mrs...
...John Farley, the birdlover, was fined £100 for biting the head off Mr...
...Wynne, the veteran orthopedic specialist with Philadelphia's venerable Osteopathic Medical Center, has written the American Medical Association, alerting fellow physicians and curious passersby of a danger that "almost defies belief' from the vacuum toilet, an especially popular amenity on private yachts and cruise ships...
...He was joined during April by Gary Hart and Albert Gore, while Alexander Haig and Paul Laxalt lunged into the Republican race...
...Thus leadership of the anti-Reagan festivities fell to Mr...
...Much light was shed on the unfortunate condition of the Soviet working girl when Sovietskaya Rossiya reported that of the 3,500 prostitutes recently registered in Moscow's central district many had lost limbs to frostbite and some were in their seventies—a sad commentary on working conditions in the Marxist paradise but proof of the kind-heartedness of at least some American Marines...
...Early in the month the heir to the throne evanesced into the Kalahari desert with an 81-year-old hansdoodle guru, improbably named Sir Laurens Van der Post, to mull over the placid ways of the Kalahari bushmen, long noted for their fluent valsalvic maneuvers and direct manners...
...In Great Britain, the county council of Salisbury, Wiltshire, has decided to ban all portrayals of trains, teddy bears, and toadstools in county classrooms, for being "too European and middle class for a multi-racial Britain...
...In Oakland, California, Miss Z. Budapest confirmed widely-circulated reports that she had been asked by Miss Rita Dixon, vice president of the progressive Emeryville School Board, to cast a hex on the local superintendent of schools...
...1 campus for crime in America" last year...
...Dick Olsen said, stretching the truth somewhat, "but it's particularly unfortunate when it's done in front of children...
...Hopes for a missile accord between the United States and the Soviet Union brightened...
...On April 20 in Northeim, West Germany, violence again marred the festivities of a group of German traditionalists commemorating the birthday of one of the twentieth century's most widely recognized proponents of German philosophy, Mr...
...And reports that evangelist Oral Roberts passed away early in April were indignantly denied by a spokesman for Roberts when a researcher from this magazine called to verify whether the evangelist had died after a $1.4-million check donated to him bounced...
...The song, entitled "The Condom Rag," reminds the state's stallions that "one size fits all," that a multitude of colors and styles are available, and concludes on a hortatory refrain: "Remember boys, don't be no dunce/Only use that condom once/See, it's easy and fun and it ain't a drag/Groovin' and doin' the condom rag...
...Illinois Governor James R. Thompson...
...Mort Downy, a disc jockey in Chicago, demonstrated the effect of an electric stun gun by shooting himself while on the air...
...The Reagan Administration clamped sanctions against a limited range of Japanese imports pending reform in Japanese treatment of American goods, and the French government has agreed to allow construction of a French-speaking Disneyland near Paris...
...Senator Paul Simon of Illinois entered the race for the Democratic presidential nomination, shouting "I am not a neo-anything...
...The Prince's absorption with the occult has troubled Princess Diana, whose inclination is toward moral positivism and situational ethics, and she was visibly shaken by news that the Prince did not even bring a toothbrush...
...Higgins and Miss Carmen Turley dined in a Chinese restaurant...
...Apparently the hostilities ensued when a group of Turkish children at play frightened the celebrants, and the children's nannies moved in to retrieve them...
...Adolf Hitler...
...Mr...
...He was out for two minutes...
...Mary Jo Jansen, 44, whose electricity had recently been turned off, entered a fifth-grade classroom in Santa Ana, California, and shot herself despite pleas from 28 school children...
...According to Dr...
...Any suicide is unfortunate," Orange County Sheriffs Lt...
...Ton Kemps, secretary of the Dutch National League of Beekeepers, declared...
...There were two others, and now comes word that Prince Charles may be suffering a royal ringing in the ears also...
...Daniel Ellsberg, who flashed mirrors at the imposing CIA complex, insisting that the building was populated by vampires...
...Primo Levi, the Italian writer and dear, dear friend of belletrist Leon Wieseltier, died after a fall, and Mr...
...Kurt Waldheim, the controversial president of Austria, was barred from entering the United States, three decades late...
...J. Brendan Wynne's recent researches...
...Can Royal Earlswood be far away...
...Abbie Hoffman, mysteriously failed to show on the morning of the April 27 demonstrations...
...Fred Maylor have vowed to oppose the measure, but it is going to be tough going against the logic of Mrs...
...Congratulations, idealists...
...RET...
...It's technically false," Mr...
...and the state of New York moved against cigarette smokers as its regulation against public smoking took effect notwithstanding attempts by local freedom fighters to thwart the monstrosity...
...Ralph Nader may revive once word spreads of Dr...
...Nell White, the left-wing educator who explains that "it is wrong to teach children to count the number of carriages on a train or the spots on a toad8 THE AMERICAN SPECTATOR JUNE 1987 stool...
...and Mrs...

Vol. 20 • June 1987 • No. 6


 
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