The Great American Saloon Series/A Redneck Inn
Shiflett, Dave
THE GREAT AMERICAN SALOON SERIES ~Illlln 14: 1111 11111111 . $11 2limaJ jaikar-m11 .4.0.1244m54 `,4 a c _ 111111 A REDNECK INN by Dave Shiflett W hen America bombed Libya, no one in the...
...Date Name Address THE AMERICAN SPECTATOR NOVEMBER 1987 35...
...Instead, there was a film clip of a bomb striking its target...
...A firm handshake from the historian, and it's time to go...
...AX o Bill Me Card # Exp...
...A Bud for a buck...
...care...
...Ask Mike for a hot dog and he snarls, "I'm sellin' beer tonight...
...And I've seen him just get up and close the place...
...By 9:40 the fever starts to break...
...Could he and the girls hold off the horde...
...Who can say...
...Everyone had the fever...
...They hauled beers five to a hand into the crowd...
...The night flew by...
...Ball teams had come in...
...Call ibll Free or Return Coupon 1-800-558-1244 (In Iowa call collect 515-458-2585) Published by Chronicle Publications, a 110 year old independent newspaper company CilnaimftrvE Box 29 Hampton, Iowa 50441 CONSERVATIVE CHRONICLE, !Mx 29 Hampton, Iowa 50441 tempt your :subscription offer of l YEAR (52 issues) for CM (Add 1620 for foreign postage) I understand 1 can obtain full refund on unnutiled copies at any time...
...She smiles back...
...On the house, of course...
...By 9:15, the place was packed...
...Everybody came...
...One of the girls began to cry, but didn't break the pace...
...Five to a hand, into the crowd...
...Meanwhile, the bun steamer is spewing like Chernobyl and the orders are piling up...
...All eyes were on the television, where Muammar Qaddafi might be displayed, maybe in several pieces...
...There's always something memorable going on at the Inn, which is located...
...Dream or delirium...
...They're all downtown, comforting the afflicted...
...No morphine addicts in the bunch...
...The 25 degree difference (measured with a thermometer pilfered from the fish tank) led to an outbreak of guzzling such as the world has never seen...
...Mike smiles at the one with the earlier tears...
...Air temperature holds at 82, but the Heineken is an elite 46...
...I'm talking about ten o'clock, if he's had enough...
...Their big city counterparts compare badly, right down to their pained expressions, like they just stepped on a nail...
...They've whipped the horde...
...Before departure, the price was up to 10K...
...They'll move...
...he was asked...
...The girls are having a hard time carrying beer through the mob...
...You know it's coming because he'll play 'The William Tell Overture' and 'The Star Spangled Banner' on the jukebox...
...A chant breaks out among the amateur athletes...
...Then there was the story of the jumpsuits...
...And a swarm of barflies...
...Ferns...
...the gold gets through...
...But we came to drink beer, and on one August evening so had half the town...
...The urbanite complexion also has a way of reminding us that the skin is an organ, like a drunk's liver...
...THE GREAT AMERICAN SALOON SERIES ~Illlln 14: 1111 11111111 . $11 2limaJ jaikar-m11 .4.0.1244m54 `,4 a c _ 111111 A REDNECK INN by Dave Shiflett W hen America bombed Libya, no one in the Vienna Inn rose to speak on behalf of Arab moderates...
...Brass...
...A portrait of happiness, a nice memory, a little something extra to take home with you...
...When a woman exits the bathroom, the men whistle, and likely as not she'll whistle back...
...All them stories—what do I Dave Shiflett is a writer living in Virginia...
...I don't know if it's still the case, but Mike used to have an anniversary night, charging ten cents a beer on the ten year anniversary and so on...
...Mike fired mugs up and down the bar...
...I've been coming here for over ten years," he says...
...What do you do...
...These are facts of life...
...Chili dogs on the side—ten to a tray...
...The crowd roared...
...She delivers it without a glass...
...R. GLEN MARTIN An independent columnist writing for the EDMONTON SUN WE COULDN'T HAVE SAID IT BETTER OURSELVES 0 tiep^ptcd by r...
...Temperature's fallen to 58 and the atmosphere's dropped a degree or two...
...Some people eat them by the kennelful...
...He keeps the imports and wine coolers in a box over the bar...
...By the door a man cradles a sleeping infant in one arm and hoists a mug with the other...
...Mike the bartender (and part owner) was working two girls...
...Mike barked...
...I read the paper, and try to keep up with the news on TV, but those books—Hell...
...Hey Mike, how about a Heineken...
...There's not an empty seat and every corn and bunion has been stepped on twice...
...There's no back talk as he returns to his post...
...No lectures, no lawsuits...
...Mike tells a group of table pounders to put a lid on it...
...Trading was fierce...
...A barmaid finally walks one over, and in a second it's snug in its new home...
...He sends one of the girls climbing...
...A couple down the bar orders the fish sticks...
...When finally autographed by all four living Presidents, he plans to sell them for $5,000 each...
...Then he'll clear the place out...
...Another patron supplies historical perspective...
...Payment Method 0 Check Enclosed o Visa o M.C...
...One more beer from the tap...
...Spill it on 'em," Mike shouts across the bar...
...in the Washington suburb that bears its name...
...82, with beers coming in 22 degrees cooler...
...I don't care much for them books," said one, noting a slender volume on the bar...
...The clientele—carpenters, plumbers, meat-eaters, executives—glows with health...
...At 8:15, the temperature at barside was 80 degrees, the first beer a cool 55...
...Mike filled the mugs with urgency, as if he were reloading muskets at the Alamo...
...Mike blows around the side of the bar and delivers a warning...
...The girls wipe the sweat and beer off their hands and have a leisurely smoke...
...The noise decreases as the ballplayers begin drifting back home...
...One more time and you're out...
...B 9:30 the air temperature is up to .1...
...Things in that part of the world were back in order...
...The foot rests pleasantly on the particleboard rail...
...The sea parts...
...Work for the Smithsonian...
...every member with a raging thirst...
Vol. 20 • November 1987 • No. 11
