The Continuing Crisis
: T H E C O N T I N U I N G C R I S I...
...I don't recall handing over my first paycheck to Staff Sergeant Mike-sell as a little thank-you for twelve weeks of physical torment and black humor at my expense...
...In the test, male field mice chose between a sexually experienced female and a virgin, both of whom had been bound, causing the eloquent Miss Jensen to pronounce that "As a woman and a feminist, I have very strong feelings about any females being tied up and being gang raped by males of their species...
...but so is the male anatomy, and that of numerous animals—hell, the whole language is a "rich field" for D i's, many of whom are virtual Joyices of invective...
...Some, I might add, show a more minimalist, Beckettesque appreciation for the absurdities of life and language, like the drill instructor who kept a maladjusted private in my platoon digging all day in the Parris Island sand, having told the private he could stop as soon as he'd dug half a hole...
...Porfili's manuscript could easily be published in the Review, and whether translated from the Italian or not what comatose reader of the Review's vast pages of gray prolixity would notice...
...Barbara A. Mikulski, equalled him...
...Hazing Gilder George Gilder on the right is easily the paranoid equivalent of any quasiintellectual specimen on the left...
...Barnes, an intolerable popinjay on the House Foreign Affairs Committee, did not know whether the Stinger missile, which recently was so controversial, had been sent to Saudi Arabia, or the name of the current prime minister of Israel, or the name of the head of the African National Congress...
...In Charleston, South Carolina, the Rev...
...Marine Corps...
...Mattel Inc...
...Crutchley lamented...
...Well, you cause loud men in Smokey-the-Bear hats to subject the feminine principle to a torrent of abuse: "Virtually every sentence, every description, every lesson embodies this sexual duality, and the female anatomy provides a rich field of metaphor for every degradation...
...Such minds as this deserve recognition...
...Though in fairness perhaps he simply doesn't know that socialists are much better at denying self-interest than are capitalists and his religious beliefs probably make him confused...
...Karen Crutchley went into a fury after Circuit Judge John Antoon sentenced her husband, John B., to twenty-five years for raping a tourist and allegedly drinking her blood, which he had extracted with needles...
...gladly and voluntarily making large financial gifts to the instructors...
...There Miss Holly Jensen of People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals focused her wrath on a University of Florida study of whether male field mice prefer virgins...
...and Barnes & Mikulski are two lovable drunks...
...My speculations in this short chapter were in-tended not to expound the details of the science (I refer the curious to Dr...
...Selfishness leads to demands for unearned benefits and thus—as by an invisible hand—to socialism, which is the fundamental economic evil in the world...
...When the Hon...
...As to these letters, I have changed a bit since 1958, but I did not become a biologist...
...The deceased, Mr...
...Robert B. Silvers, co-editor of the New York Review of Books...
...There is Hal, the unfortunate ski instructor who lacks a left leg, a ballerina who wears a hearing aid, a well-dressed girl with leg braces and a cane, and a boy in a wheel chair...
...Averell Harriman, the last American to see Mr...
...but now he calls for a "real feminist movement," and in what is perhaps a quixotic attempt to woo a few converts away from the unreal one, he proceeds to borrow from some of the most febrile of radical-feminist fantasies...
...Miller must have mistaken me for Tl uman Capote...
...That says it all...
...RET...
...Henry Scott announced in mid-sermon that he was immediately quitting the pulpit because a Vassar College "witch" had put a spell on him fourteen years ago...
...In Chicago's Comiskey Park, the hapless Mr...
...In Nicaragua, the Sandinista government came still closer to perfection when it closed down the country's only opposition newspaper, La Prensa...
...I think it was...
...The occasion of these hallucinations is an attack on the U.S...
...Stung by the severity of the sentence, Mrs...
...Perhaps Gilderlavished such a token on his drill instructor...
...The Hon...
...There is more bad news for Austria's President Kurt Waldheim...
...False Niebuhr Despite Ernest W. Lefever's warning against the sin of selectivity in recounting the life and thought of Reinhold Niebuhr, one must turn the charge back against Lefever in his confident identification of Niebuhr with the neoconservative movement...
...A Maryland woman, Miss Cheryl Renae, was stopped for directing traffic at 3 a.m...
...A Vassar College spokesman notified the venerable New York Post that "It is not the policy of Vassar College to confirm or deny the existence of witchcraft...
...That he is a current member of the conservative hagiology and regularly appears in such publications as The American Spectator is indicative of the regrettable impotency of the traditional right...
...How do you do this...
...neoliberals seem to agree that the acts are very disagreeable but fear that to distinguish porn from all else will lead to the interdiction of the Bible, Dostoevsky, E. L. Doctorow, Kurt Vonnegut, and Goethe...
...Roberto Porfili, had been undergoing protracted psychiatric treatment, and police found a handwritten document on his person wherein he opposed Sigmund Freud's theory .of neurotic ailments in terms very similar to those frequently ex-pressed nocturnally by Mt...
...After many unusual displays and speeches the assembled called for establishment of a white homeland to be located in the American northwest, though once news reaches them of Dr...
...is no different from pornography available in most big cities: a very low percentage of it is violent...
...The Reagan Administration crept toward a summit meeting with Mr...
...But although I would like to see several clones first made of Tom Bethell, Bill Ricker, and other writers in the last issue of TAS, I still believe some cautionary reflections—and perhaps careful ad hoc prohibitions—are in order relating to any technology that might lead in the course of time to the creation, on any single continent, of multiple genetic copies of Bob Tyrrell...
...Akbar Hasemi Rafsanjani, a distinguished member of the Holy Galoot's parliament and an Islamic theologian of the top chop, elucidated still more of the Koranic mysteries when he observed that there exists "no such thing as equality between men and women...
...In New York City, the Rev...
...But Gilder may be buying into the curious hermeneutic method practiced by Andrea Dworkin and other feminist apostles of censorship, who somehow discern expressions of male "violence" even in the wholesome and solitary poses assumed by Miss April...
...Another female colossus rose up in Gainesville, Florida...
...Jimmy Carter was photographed during a rendition of the National Anthem with his hand on his heart but his hat on his head, thus substantiating the long-standing charge that he is numb from the ears up...
...I will not vote for impeachment...
...In New York harbor a 28-minute firework spectacular and an international naval review presided over by our President solemnized the refurbishment of the Statue of Liberty...
...The very straitlaced author was ridiculed mercilessly, the audience truly guffawed, and Johnny Carson's polite but incredulous questioning made the scene even more ludicrous and embarrassing...
...Mikulski was presented that last pons asinorum she heaved up the name of Mr...
...with a pink curling iron, whereupon she wrecked three police cars...
...Zionist researchers have disinterred his 1943 doctoral thesis, and unfortunately it propounds that Switzerland, Luxembourg, Belgium, and the Netherlands compose a "Greater German Reich...
...His review of the new Niebuhr biography by Richard Fox, and the new Niebuhr anthology edited by Robert McAffee Brown (TAS, April 1986), is too obviously one-sided in its characterization of Niebuhr's political loyalties and ideas...
...Ergo they have to wear veils...
...Michael D. Barnes of the great state of Maryland, he who lectures the world on foreign policy, particularly in Central America, was certified beyond doubt to be a dunce and a dinkelspiel...
...Rafsanjani reconsider...
...His attempt to reconcile capitalism with the ethics of altruism in Wealth and Poverty was an excellent demonstration of moral poltroonery typical of conservatives...
...And Mr...
...Further, writes Gilder, "Porno-graphic movies around military centers reek with attacks on women . . ." Pornography available around such "centers" (bases...
...Finally, Mr...
...But I have to agree with George that for drill instructors the female anatomy is a rich source of metaphor...
...Flora Whitney Miller, former chairman of the very amusing Whitney Museum of Art...
...Humor," as Mr...
...Barnes is a major haranguer of South Africa...
...Jonas Savimbi and held her breath...
...Crutchley exclaimed: "It was a gentle rape, devoid of any overt brutality...
...His col-league, the Hon...
...Alas, Mr...
...In Titusville, Florida Mrs...
...In fact, Mr...
...Roderick L. Miller Victor, New York Who is George Kinder-Kirche-Kuche Gilder trying to impress...
...I spend most of my time these days writing about technology and regard its prospects as overwhelmingly favorable in nearly every domain...
...When you want to create a solidaristic group of male killers," writes Gilder, "you kill the woman in them...
...Thomas McDonnell was mugged by two transvestites as he rode the sub-way, reading the best-seller, When Bad Things Happen to Good People...
...Joseph Vlasic, founder of the Vlasic pickle empire, died as did former Indiana solon Earl F. Landgrebe, who at the culmination of the Watergate scandal declared, "Don't confuse me with the facts...
...A gourmet gunman in Oxnard, California, ordered the employees and patrons of Palermo's Pizza out of that incomparable eatery and proceeded for the next three hours to gorge himself on fettuccine, linguini, tortellini, and various vino rossos before the polizia ended his orgy...
...If we do so, Lefever claims, Niebuhr's record "adds up to a profile of a thoughtful neoconservative, a (continued on page 49) THE AMERICAN SPECTATOR SEPTEMBER 1986 9...
...T H E C O N T I N U I N G C R I S I S...
...Could that book have been Sexual Suicide, and was that poor cretin George Gilder...
...Huh...
...A French company is marketing a device that slips into a baby's diaper and plays "When the Saints Go Marching In" when the child makes water, even at the Cafe Aux Deux Magots...
...Or could it be that George has about as much experience of military life as he has a chance of leading a new feminist movement...
...T%vo other Republicans answered three questions correctly as did the highest scoring Democrat, who, alas, turned out to be a follower of the Democrats' most in-famous source of new ideas, Mr: Lyn-don LaRouche, Esq...
...Al-though I have the greatest respect for Ayn Rand and other libertarian thinkers who seem to have influenced Miller, I believe they erred seriously in accepting the claims of socialists that they either care about others or help them...
...Now I lie around on the couch fantasizing I am James Webb and grouching about the feminization of Marine Corps training...
...though the Hon...
...Spock, and after 12 weeks of beatings at their hands, with relentless rant of punts and cussies, and orders to yell "I am so pissed off I could say 'peachfuzz' " at the top of my lungs as I jogged circles around the marching platoon in the 100-degree heat, I have to admit I became a liberal Republican wimp, in love with Joan Baez, and agape at the splendor of John V. Lindsay, but I got over it...
...CORRESPONDENCE...
...The Aryan Nations World Congress was held in Hayden Lake, Idaho...
...The weirdest of Gilder's assertions is that graduates of boot camp "end up...
...This scourge of the women's movement remains deeply committed to barefootedness and pregnancy...
...According to Lefever, "one must distinguish the essential Niebuhr from the socialist-pacifist Niebuhr of the 1920s and also from the failing and confused Niebuhr of the mid- and late-1960s...
...Therefore I do not believe it is either desirable or necessary to begin my celebration of the morality of capitalism by rejecting the Judeo-Christian values that have been upheld by most capitalists in almost every capitalist economy...
...I am not paranoid on these points...
...I'm going to stick with my President even if he and I have to be taken out of this building and shot...
...Savimbi is a citizen of Angola where he fights Marxists and accepts aid from South Africa...
...Sure, a certain amount of sexual bragging goes on around a bar-racks...
...They are different physically and mentally...
...but from my three years in the Marine Corps I can't recall a single boastfest that featured rape and torture (though perhaps Gilder means "violent" in the highly figurative Dworkinian sense...
...Crutchley, too, is distressed: "He's disgusted that society would flush him down the toilet when he's got so much to offer," Mrs...
...Leon Kass), but to contemplate the implications of Margaret Mead's only hope to overcome what Steven Gold-berg proved to be "the inevitability of patriarchy...
...Scandal crossed one of the few sports events still free of cocaine's shadow when Mr...
...Mikhail Gorbachev, the Soviet Mugwump...
...Now will the Rev...
...His recent TAS article, "The Bioengineering Womb" (May 1986), taken from Men and Marriage, revised from Sexual Suicide, may have had as many as five sentences that were true...
...Michael Stanford Charlottesville, Virginia George Gilder replies: Hey, you guys, give me a break...
...George Jean Nathan was wont to say, "is the truth in an inebriated condition...
...Women have smaller brains than men and smaller hearts and are normally physically less strong...
...He had the misfortune to be sitting next to alleged comedian George Carlin, who saw easy meat...
...As for Roderick Miller's very intriguing observations, Gee Whiz, he can rest assured I wouldn't even thinkabout anything so shockingly ickypoo as oral sex...
...July might well be remembered as the month in which the Hon...
...Gilder claims, "One of the favorite stories told on return to base from liberty is of the violent abuse of a whore...
...I vaguely remember seeing on "The Tonight Show" several years ago an author of a book about American sexual mores or something assert that the country was going to hell because of rampant oral sex...
...A grand and gaudy July Fourth was celebrated...
...Since I went to Parris Island in 1958, when the Marines still made maggots into men and the Drill Instructors were all General Patton clones (only younger), yet to be mushed out by Dr...
...Waldheim's doctoral thesis it is always possible they will opt for European real estate...
...Along with fifteen other registered senatorial candidates visiting a Baltimore television station, these two stoneheads were asked five current-affairs questions and scored at the bottom, answering 1.5 correctly...
...Of all the candidates, only the neoconservative Republican, Miss Linda Chavez, did well...
...In Tehran, the Rev...
...Merle Cave of Paso Robles, California, when asked to comment on the death of his brother, Verne, who choked to death on his own eyeball after a female drinking partner recklessly placed it in his mouth, observed: "An eye for an eye is one thing, but two for nothing is something else...
...I merely maintain that it is ubiquitous and thus fails to explain anything interesting about the heroic achievements of capitalism, which depend on imaginatively serving others in the marketplace...
...It often happens...
...As for my moral poltroonery, I do not deny the importance of self-interest...
...The Supreme Court upheld Georgia's sodomy law, and a federal pornography report revealed a state of civil war in the liberal pews: feminists are against salacity in all its forms owing to the disgusting acts they have been forced to commit to keep their menfolk home...
...Henry McCutcheon, 78, the eminent trainer of racing chickens for the Bob Evans Restaurants Chicken Flying Contest, was charged in Detroit with cruelty to animals...
...Yuri Andropov alive, assumed room temperature, as did Mrs...
...has developed a line of disabled dolls to teach America's youth compassion and to give disabled youth role models...
...Protesting in his usual eloquence—"I'm a cock-adoodle-do man"--he denied all charges and vowed to defend himself and gain the release of his feathered stallions, 8 THE AMERICAN SPECTATOR SEPTEMBER 1986 who were incarcerated in a local dog pound...
...In Castel Gandolfo, Italy, an ax-wielding former senior official of the Ministry of Cultural Property was shot to death after he tossed garbage at the Pope's summer residence...
...Unless both partners keep their mouths tightly closed, kissing can lead to perilous exchanges of precious bodily fluids and should be banned outside of marriage As a conservative, I am also too "regrettably impotent" to make "The Continuing Crisis," let alone the Johnny Carson show...
...Right, George, you yank them right outof touch with the gentle, nurturing androgyne that lurks in all of us...
...Now, the first clause of this sentence is self-evidently inane hyperbole...
...I can only say the palette of the bioengineer becomes more potent every year and many surprises—good and bad—can be expected...
...He died of natural causes...
...I've got a closed mind...
Vol. 19 • September 1986 • No. 9
