Eminentoes/Our Man in Moscow

...This is too much...

...he was told by the deep - cover CIA case officer in .Moscow...

...This previously well-kept secre t was blown over the course of the pas t couple of months, for "Iron Mike's " behavior can only be explained if he i s Michael Ledeen is senior fellow in international affairs 'at the Georgetown Center for Strategic and International Studies...

...That's not our fault ; we don' t have very good control over the Europeans...

...The Europeans are unreliable...

...In Top Gun we are told that Maverick is the son of the lat e Duke Mitchell, a top-notch seat-of-his - pants Navy pilot who mysteriously disappeared in an F-4 in Nam in 1965 . The legend (which Maverick refuses to accept but can't disprove because the relevant documents are classified by th e Pentagon) is that Duke Mitchell "screwed up" somehow...

...Don't try that one again," Gorbachev moaned . "We've been tricked too many times by you people...

...Navy ship has drifted into enemy waters (for the purposes of this movie, the less geography you know, the bet - ter) and some F-14s are needed to pro - vide air cover while the ship is rescued...

...Do you want me purged ? This is no way to treat the best frien d you've ever had in the Kremlin . " "Listen, calm down," he was told...

...Qaddafi has given terrorism a bad name, he's running out of money, and you ca n take the occasion to denounce us for rampant militarism...

...In An Officer and a Gentleman Richard Gere strove to prove himself a better man than hi s dad...

...while discussing fighterplane engagement Maverick shoots Charlie a significant glance and tell s her, "When I see something I want, I go after it ." The film pointedly cut s from an intimate encounter between Maverick and Charlie to an F-14 take - off...

...Like many recent service pictures, Top Gun trades on the typical adolescen t male moviegoer's conflicting feeling s about his father...

...And this, ultimately, is the most disturbing thing about Top Gun—that such deliberate mindlessness, such calculated vacuity, is brought to bear upon a theme whose implications are of th e most solemn consequence...

...lll \umll 11 30 THE AMERICAN SPECTATOR AUGUST 1986...

...you can't expect me to ex - plain this sort of thing to my general s and admirals...

...it's a movie in which the magnificently lit and shot beads of water, for example, on th e just-showered faces and shoulders of Maverick and his cohorts leave a mor e lasting impression than their dialogu e or the expressions on their faces...

...he roared . "It took years for us to recover from the humiliating destruction of ou r missiles, tanks, and airplanes i n Lebanon...

...q . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . EMINENTOES . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . OUR MAN IN MOSCOW by Michael Ledee n I don't know how much we're payin g Mikhail Gorbachev to act as an American agent in the Kremlin, bu t he's worth every ruble he gets from the CIA...

...you don't even have a mutua l defense pact with the Libyans...

...predictably, the script keeps draw - ing parallels between the two...

...President, but we're not that good...

...We're not going to do anything dramatic to the Libyans, just a ver y limited reaction against Libyan targets . We won't even do serious bombing o f your SAM-5 missile batteries...

...I don't suppose you could arrange for one small bomb t o land on the French embassy...

...Two hours later the deal was struck , and Gorbachev instructed his KG B residentura in East Berlin to manag e the terrorist operation . But the greatest result of the CIA's recruitment of the Soviet dictator surely came with the Sandinista invasion of Honduras, which was ordered by Casey the day after the House of Representatives denied Reagan the $100 million he had requested for the contras . This time Gorbachev dug in his hobnails: "It was bad enough when we were routed in Grenada, but at least that was my predecessors' problem, not mine...

...an American agent: at each crucial moment for Ronald Reagan, the Sovie t Union provided him maximum assistance...

...At his class's graduation exercises, news comes of a "crisis situation" in the Indian Ocean: A disabled U.S...

...This gives me a hard-on," says a pilot while viewing training films of F-14s in action, and the joke resurfaces during the final air-battle sequence, when some F-14 pilots over the India n Ocean, Maverick among them, are keeping an eye out for Russian MIGs : "Must be close, " says a pilot, " I 'm getting a hard-on ." The implicit message throughout appears to be that cruising chicks is more or less like going on a search-anddestroy mission and that war is sexy— that gunning for MIGs, to put it bald - ly, is a thrilling and manly way o f sublimating homoerotic drives . If we take this to be the film's underlyin g "logic, " it may well help to explain why Scott shows us relatively little of McGillis's body while, during a number of seemingly gratuitous locker-roo m and volleyball-game sequences, h e unstintingly exposes the rippling fles h of Cruise and his fellow pilots (several of whom seem, a la Stallone, to have undergone extensive muscle-buildin g workouts in preparation for the film) . Patently, this is a film that does no t shrink from attempting to exploit th e most ignorant, infantile, and ignobl e attitudes toward both personal and international relations . Yet it is outrageously unsuccessful even at achieving this unworthy objective : for all the fierce fondling and the fancy flying, i t is one of the most remarkably dull movies in recent memory...

...Gorbachev thought about it for a moment, and replied, "It might work with the generals, but the guys who know about the United States will never believe it...

...How could we feel confident that Aquino wouldn't be tempted to play footsie with the charm - ing and debonair comrade Gorbachev ? The problem was solved by William Casey, the Director of Central Intelligence, who gave instructions that Gorbachev embrace Marcos right afte r the elections . When these instruction s arrived, Gorbachev was furious . "What...

...q If Business Reply Card i s missing please cal l 1-800-341-1522 to subscribe...

...And one of the most formulaic, too...

...This, the film suggests, is why Maverick is so driven, s o cocky, and so damn good...

...First came the Philippine elections ; the United States had clearly become identified with the hated Marco s regime, and many of the Aquino people seemed to be flirting with the Communists . So we were worried about the consequences of an open Americanbreak with Marcos...

...Don't worry so much," the answe r came back...

...Moreover, , th e Soviet and East German advisers i n Tripoli had sternly warned Qaddaf i about handing Reagan a great public - relations triumph at the expense o f their North African client . Once again, the secret CIA channe l was activated, and Gorbachev was told that the Libyans had to attack th e Fleet...

...After all, you hailed the elections o f Andropov and Chernenko, and they certainly fit that description . And you weren't paid nearly so well for those en - dorsements as you will be for this one " And so it was done, thus making i t possible for the United States to ditch Marcos, knowing that Aquino couldn' t possibly turn to the only major figure in the world who had acclaimed th e fraudulent election of her arch-enemy...

...Why not...

...Certainly the good ol d USA deserves better...

...as you know, we're not permitted to recruit their leaders anymore...

...The odds were poor, to be sure, because once the Libyan dictator realized that any and all planes he sent against American forces woul d be shot down, he had restricted himsel f to vocal outbursts...

...The Director of Central Intelligence permitted himself a rare blush, and replied: "Thanks, Mr...

...he exclaimed . "They want me to be the only world leader to hail th e election of that dying old crook...

...Why don't you tell them that th e American Congress won't even care, and that this will be a major step toward an American defeat in Centra l America...

...they take our side for years, as they did on the cruis e and Pershing missiles, and then tur n around when it comes time to vote o n it...

...But time's up ; you have to decide o n Central America . Bill Casey has instructed me to tell you that either you authorize a Nicaraguan invasion, or Raisa's American Express card is going to be taken away...

...down to business in the obligatory coi - tion sequence (performed to the hard - driving rhythms of Harold Faltermeyer's banal score), she purrs , "Maverick, you big stud," and it' s unclear whether the line is supposed t o be a joke, and, if so, whether anybod y connected with the film realizes jus t how big a joke it is . What is clear, however, is that this i s meant to be an intensely sensuous film . We're supposed to be stirred by both the sex and the Air Combat Maneuver - ing...

...When Maverick and Goose walk into a ba r full of women, for instance, Maverick says, "This is what I call a target-rich environment" ; over drinks, Goose' s wife tells Charlie that Maverick once "went ballistic" with a gal named Penny Benjamin...

...THE AMERICAN SPECTATOR AUGUST 1986 29 Then came the Libyan crisis, whe n Reagan hoped against hope that Qaddafi would attack the Sixth Fleet in th e Gulf of Sidra...

...Naturally, both Maverick and Iceman are called into action, and when they come up against a couple of Soviet MIGs it is Maverick who mows them down handily, thus proving the superi - ority of his "instinctive" fighter piloting to Iceman's by-the-book approach . Why this episode doesn't escalate int o World War III is anybody's guess . Given this state of affairs, it is almost a shame that Top Gun is so well photographed . The cinematographer, Jeffrey Kimball, has done a masterly job, especially with the breathtakin g aerial sequences...

...The Sandinista army crossed the Honduran border the next day at dawn . Casey's handling of Gorbachev wa s so effective that when, on the verge of the potentially delicate Tokyo Summit , a Soviet nuclear reactor exploded and the Kremlin systematically maximized the damage to their image throughou t the Western world, Reagan called Casey in to the Oval Office to congratulate him on what the President believed was the latest masterful CIA stroke...

...in a film (which I haven't seen ) released earlier this year the boy hero stole an Air Force jet and flew to hi s father's rescue...

...How can I explain such a crazy move to my own people...

...In that case, you'd better get Dobrynin out of Washington, so that he can't report the real reaction . And we'll give you something in return : the President has agreed to let you launch a new peace offensive on nuclea r testing . And we'll renounce our observance of the SALT II treaty...

...Even the Spaniards decided the y wanted to be part of NATO...

...But though the fil m is crowded with lovely light, fog, smoke, and cloud effects, and features a number of arrestingly photographe d surfaces, the exquisite camerawork only serves to point up the fact that there' s nothing beneath those surfaces . This is , indeed, a "designer film" in the tradition of Flashdance...

...they'll be operational again in a couple of days . No terrorist camps will be hit, no major military facility will be targeted . But the President has to do something against a terrorist leader, and you know how bad it would be if we had to at - tack your friend Assad . . ." Again, Gorbachev carried out his instructions . Then, a few weeks later, when Reagan decided that the limited strike against Qaddafi had no t been tough enough, Gorbachev was called again, this time to tell hi m to cooperate with the plan to hav e Libyans bomb a West German night - club...

...In the long run, this is good for you...

...Oh, no," he pleaded, "I know what you've got up your sleeve thi s time...

...He's out (a) to erase the blot on the family escutch - eon, and (b) to be an even better pilo t than his dad . "It's like every time we go up there you're flying against a ghost," Goose says to him . This conflict is resolved so clumsily and halfheartedly that you get the feeling eve n Cash and Epps couldn't get themselve s to take it seriously...

...It's not like Grenada , where you had extended the Brezhr ev Doctrine...

...This film lionizes ignorance, venerates immaturi - ty, reveres raw, primitive instinct ; i t strives aggressively—and, alas , manages completely—not to contradict a single inane illusion of the type cherished by the most horrible sort o f teenage boy...

...That way you'll have a big PR success in Europe...

...because he "screwed up," we are to believe, Maverick was unable to get into th e Naval Academy...

...they worked this one out all by themselves...

...I'm sorry," his case officer tol d him...

...Eight trial issues of The American Spectator only $14...

...What Top Gun does take altogethe r too seriously, however, is the increasingly familiar Hollywood philosoph y (nowadays often equated, in filmland , with the American dream) that if you ain't the best, you ain't nothing . Ever y few minutes somebody or other in thi s movie speaks of belonging to "the elite" or being "the best of the best " or observes that "There are no point s for second place" or that (and here's the moral of the whole shebang) "lb be the best of the best you've got to mak e mistakes and then go on ." In the end , of course, Maverick gets a chance to regain the self-confidence he lost afte r Goose's death...

...You've got a point," Gorbachev pondered, "but I still need some further cover...

...Tha t might give me some help with these anti-Communist Chirac people i n Paris...