The Continuing Crisis

........................................................................................................................................................................... T H E CONTINUING C R I S...

...Over the years Mr...
...Mosher's Ph.D...
...Progress goose-steps in circles...
...And Dartmouth College's Committee on Standards revealed its lack of same by expelling the patriotic Dartmouth Ten...
...According to the New York Times, in his youth Mr...
...The Marcoses themselves remained in Hawaii arranging suitable housing and plotting the return of Imelda's girdle collection...
...Henry Fairlie might never have had to leave England...
...Waldheim and his horse joined a Nazi riding club...
...Today the homosexual is wholesome and admired while the smoker is banned...
...Reportedly, the New York State Tax Commission is snapping at his heels for unpaid taxes amounting to $10,000, monies that this Marxist schoolmarm has unscrupulously withheld from the outstretched hands of the homeless, the handicapped, the boondogglers, and all the other beneficiaries of his nineteenth century science...
...Back in Washing-ton, National Public Radio reported that the family of Mr...
...In the Philippines, the extraordinary Mrs...
...For the first time since 1968 more American adults are defining themselves as conservative than as moderate—40 percent con, 38 percent mod...
...Miss Amy Carter, now a student at Brown University, proved that despite her illustrious name she is a typical Brown gal by getting herself busted...
...Alexander Cockburn (see below...
...Nor did this stupendous legislative leap exhaust Gotham's reform afflatus...
...Blindness, deafness, cerebral palsy were some of the celebrated afflictions, not to mention flatulence and moose nose...
...Will his drizzle never end...
...And the President's budget is suffering horribly in the Senate...
...On March 7, France announced that it was taking action to prevent the export of the contaminated cheese to America, and after French conservatives won their March 16 elections fear spread through America's liberal community that the ban may be permanent...
...And the waste may be ending...
...The Palladium in New York City was the scene of an event that in the words of Senator Gary Hart "will symbolize the return of young Americans to the Democratic Party...
...President Ronald Reagan began a hasty drive to aid the contras with military assistance, but was scotched by the Haight-Ashbury isolationists still so influential in the House of Representatives...
...Testimony continued before a government panel investigating the demise of Challenger...
...Roger Vadim...
...RET 8 THE AMERICAN SPECTATOR MAY 1986...
...Worse still, only 18 percent have sufficiently low self-esteem to call themselves liberal...
...What kind of people are these...
...Oh, unhappiness, thy name be Alexander Cockburn (pronounced khoebyrne...
...Where does she stand on pricey amour...
...Unfortunately the party was somewhat of a bust, owing not only to the AIDS scare but also to growing national apprehension over contaminated Brie...
...Secretary-General Kurt Waldheim, has always gone easy on U.S...
...Had the ruling been made years ago, the New Republic's Mr...
...The researchers found this alarming...
...The latter will not be easy, but the former should be a snap, there being hundreds of zoos in the world whose monkey islands would be made infinitely more amusing by the presence of the Marcos family...
...The infallible New York Post reports that Miss Jane Fonda is trying to repress the memoir of her first husband, Mr...
...In California, a Stanford University study found that 13 percent of high school sophomores lose weight by vomiting or using laxatives...
...Nurse Milos wants to save every foreskin that she can...
...Then during World War II the young Wehrmacht stalwart won the coveted Zvonimir medal from the Nazi puppet state of Croatia, a government particularly hostile to gypsies as well as the usual Nazi victims...
...Swedish authorities arrested and released a far-right suspect in the search for the murderer of Mr...
...There he is planning a new life, and he may be coming to America for he has declared that "I want to resume the law studies I began...
...A 30-year-old Arlington, Virginia man was arrested at 3 a.m...
...Women's History Month was solemnized at the New York Public Library's mid-Manhattan branch by a reading on March 13 of female writers who suffered physical problems...
...Early in the month, ten of Miss Carter's school chums were arrested on prostitution charges...
...A day after its passage Mayor Koch proposed the nation's most stringent anti-smoking law...
...Donald Kennedy protesting the university's denial of Mr...
...In San Francisco, a 16-yearold runner collapsed and died in front of a filled grandstand after completing a 400-meter race...
...Now intelligence experts are lending credence to charges, first reported on this page, that Mr...
...She opposes all "victimless crime...
...Vitaly Yurchenko, the KGB spy who defected to the United States only to redefect to Moscow, was billed for the bullets after he was shot by a firing squad...
...April 30 is set as the gala sentencing day for Miss Valerie Terrigano, the first openly lesbian mayor of an American city...
...in a residential building's elevator for wearing a monster mask while ex-posing his reproductive organs to sleepy women...
...Miss Nor-ma Jean Almodovar, 34, is a progressive...
...on political grounds...
...Miss Carter had been walking the streets too, but her walk was against rather than for...
...And in Corte Madera, California, the first stirrings of yet another progressive movement were observable when Miss Marilyn E Milos, a nurse duly certified, announced formation of the National Circumcision Information Center...
...Excitement rippled through the yuppie community when one of their favorite magazines, the New England Journal of Medicine, reported that moderate exercise will add years to one's life, albeit only after a commensurate number of years have been spent sweating through hours of boring, anti-social exercises, which inevitably leave the body with more pains than one is apt to experience in the quiet confines of a casket...
...Olof Palme...
...The conservative Texas Review is suing the University of Texas to secure the right to be distributed on campus in broad daylight...
...Cory Aquino became president, unopposed, while a grateful people lined up before deposed President Marcos's Malacanang Palace to witness the felonious splendors of the Marcos family, not the least of which is Imelda's lush girdle collection—a trunk full of them, and five hundred bras, mostly noire...
...Once again on the negative side, Miss Carter is against apartheid...
...The former mayor of West Holly-wood, California was found guilty on March 14 of embezzling $10,000 in-tended for the poor and the homeless, the exact amount withheld from New York's victims of misfortune by left-wing journalist Mr...
...In campus news, a group of distinguished scholars has formed the Steven Mosher Defense Committee, urging all friends of intellectual inquiry to write letters to Stanford University President Mr...
...T H E CONTINUING C R I S I S : •March passed but not before the Harris poll reported some very sour tidings...
...Finally, in California a former lady of joy is running for lieutenant governor...
...The month provided an explanation as to why that sempiternal critic of the United States, former U.N...
...Well, figure it out for yourself...
...Thus once again the liberal mystery reveals that its fundamental political value is merely to disturb the peace...
...Miss Hitchens, at least, was given cause to rejoice, and on March 20 rejoice she doubtless did when the New York City Council passed a homosexual rights bill sanctioning the militant homosexual's legendary cattiness...
...Cockburn has maintained a one-man escort service for capitalist heiresses fetched by the Bolshevik poem, but now the sunshine has vanished and he lives under a ceaseless drizzle of complications: disclosures of his parasitism, disclosures that he has been in the pay of desert sheiks from exotic Araby, his banishment from the kook purlieus of the Village Voice to the still kookier purlieus of the Nation...
...Moscow's 27th Communist Party Congress ended in multitudes of execrations against the Brezhnev era of "waste and inefficiency...
...She vows that by the end of the 1990s the hooded look will be in, and at least on this vexed matter "America will catch up to the rest of the modern world...
...A generation ago all true-blue liberals defended a smoker's right to recreational puffing and pronounced the homosexual mentally disturbed...
...Many a lonely Englishman's prospects for conjugal felicity were improved when the European Court of Justice ruled that guards at Heathrow Airport can no longer bar inflatable sex dolls from England...
...Former Haitian president Jean-Claude Duvalier moved from the Hotel de 1'Abbaye in Talloires, France to a chateau in the south...
...policy toward gypsies...
...Cockburn along with his suctorial sidekick Christabel Hitchens are members of British Intelligence...
...Supposedly the memoir rehashes old charges that while she was married to Vadim the two knew each other sexually in various telephone booths...

Vol. 19 • May 1986 • No. 5


 
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