Politique Internationale/Governor Garlic
Taki
precisely the way that Rome is a city of churches. Within the confines of ancient Constantinople, just across the Golden Horn from Beyoglu, stand seven hills; atop each sits a grand and commanding...
...That night and each succeeding night, the drums would sound through Istanbul and every city in the land to re-mind the faithful to rise and eat—for they were barred from all food and drink through the daylight hours...
...As we approached this small, square, green building, I noticed that the lights were on...
...GOVERNOR GARLIC by Taki I think it was about six years ago that I wrote in the London Spectator about a match at Wimbledon that was won after a long struggle by Pat Dupre, an American college student, against the all-Italian boy of the time, Adriano Panatta...
...Scattered through the side streets in between these hills, there are hundreds of smaller structures built with the same end in mind...
...People who know him speak about how insular our Mario is, a man who concentrates his mind on the tiniest details...
...The Ancient Greeks, in their infinite wisdom, always believed that one reveals his true character during a crisis...
...POLITIQ UE INTERNATIONALS...
...But it is Cuomo's total ignorance of the world generally, and foreign affairs in particular, that has me already looking into Swiss real estate...
...The heading Politique Internationale is as misleading this time around as some of Mario's pronouncements...
...Inside we could see virtually the en-tire population of the neighborhood, all on their knees being led in prayer...
...The Italian diplomat's sensitivity to garlic came to mind recently when the Capo of the Empire State uttered his by now famous remark that there is no Mafia, and that to suggest there is, means that one is anti-lasagna and therefore won't be voting for him for President in the near future...
...After all, he has visited Italy once, and purportedly stopped to refuel at Shannon airport on his way back, where I assume he inhaled some pizza, washed down with a Guinness...
...To be fair, I should give him the benefit of the doubt where Europe is concerned...
...Not that Cuomo is that naive, mind you...
...Can you imagine how he would organize White House softball games...
...He is also totally dishonest when he poses as a political centrist...
...But he knew enough, I gather, to declare that he was opposed to Administration policy there, and to suggest that he would not allow New York National Guardsmen to be trained in Honduras...
...Or with a macaroni-forked tongue, for that matter...
...And, as we passed, we noticed young boys kneeling on the stairs leading up from the street...
...Which Cuomo has not done, but then neither have I. Because I, too, have misrepresented myself to you...
...and, at night, after the evening meal, the mosques were full...
...He was worried that people might begin to think he's full of tortellini...
...The restaurants were deserted during the day...
...7ttki Theodoracopulos is a European editor of The American Spectator...
...In Istanbul, however much one may try, one cannot escape the theologicopolitical question for long—not even by getting sozzled in the cisek Pasaji...
...It was then that the whole thing made sense and I remembered what I' should have had in mind from the start: The month-long, Muslim festival of Ramazan had begun at sundown that day...
...One of the simplest of these—the Muhyiddin Molla Fenari Camii—was built in the sixteenth century on the boundary between Beyoglu proper and Cihangir by Sinan, the greatest of the Ottoman architects...
...and as a consequence, the entire tone of life in the city had changed...
...Few Turks seem to have been deterred from per-forming what was required...
...Everything was finally settled amicably, however, especially after His Excellency was informed that some of my richest friends happened to be Italians...
...First the ambassador threatened to sue me, but after he was assured that it is not libelous to say someone smells of garlic, he asked my editor to fire "that greasy little Greek" (which I think is libelous as hell...
...Thisyear, the fasting from dawn to dusk would be particularly difficult: Ramazan stretched from late May until a day or two before the summer solstice and included a good many of the longest days in the year...
...Here again, the lights were on...
...No, it wasn't Mario Cuomo—Flushing Meadow is his turf...
...There are also intellectual honesty and integrity, and the creation of conditions that breed honesty and integrity in government...
...34 THE AMERICAN SPECTATOR MAY 1986...
...As recently as last December he dodged questions on Nicaragua by saying he was not too well versed on Central America...
...Cuomo certainly revealed his when—as a fellow politician put it"he invented a moral crusade to justify his out-of-control ambition to be President," an out-of-control ambition that allowed him to build up a $9 million campaign chest for 1986, most of which came from the kind of people he has always ridiculed the Republicans for dealing with: lobbyists, investors, big-time shysters, and real estate developers...
...The match has stayed in my mind because of the reaction of one prominent Italian to my article...
...Of course not...
...Beyoglu on the opposite shore is arabbit warren of tiny streets littered with mosques...
...If you look at his record, he is the biggest of spenders, squandering with a profligacy that would have put Nelson Rockefeller to shame...
...As my grandaddy used to say, honesty and integrity do not begin and end in one's wallet...
...I had also complained that their shouting in the middle of a point had filled the air with garlic smells that made some of the ball girls ill...
...Well, to judge by the Italian ambassador's reaction to the story, you'd have thought I had accused Sophia Loren of wearing falsies, or called Joe DiMaggio a Puerto Rican...
...He has a hypocritical and opportunistic streak in him reminiscent of that other great spender of other people's money, the senior senator from the only state McGovern carried, and has as well a propensity for appealing to the lowest common denominator, envy...
...They make coffee and bananas, Mario...
...Now the last thing I want to do, dear American Spectator readers, is to try and prove to you that the governor of New York is speaking through his Mezzogiornian hat...
...atop each sits a grand and commanding Muslim place of worship—with all but the Byzantine Agya Sofya Camii (until 1453 the mother church of the Greek Orthodox faith) constructions thrown up by the Ottoman Sultans for the greater glory of Allah...
...But I digress...
...Within a stone's throw and in Cihangir itself sits yet another small mosque—the Beyoglu Firuzaga Camii-i 5erifi...
...Like Jackass Carter, he trusts almost no one, and his closest adviser is his son, Andrew...
...Handy Andy is an attorney with a lucrative practice in New York City...
...While describing the disgraceful behavior of Panatta's supporters (this was before McEnroe had reduced the hallowed atmosphere of Wimbledon to that of a female wrestling hall) I had referred to them as "the spaghetti brigade...
...No, what I wish to do is simply point out that here is a man who has won one election in his lifetime, and who owes his position in the forefront of Democratic politics to a speech he gave a couple of years ago on how awful America was under Herbert Hoover...
...There is nothing Internationale about the Capo of the Empire State, and I don't care if I'm not allowed to write the word pasta or catch another whiff of garlic for another six years...
...There are enough Mafia trials going on at this very minute to convince even Mario Cuomo that the Mafia was not invented by Hollywood fascists trying to discredit him, nor by central casting either (who are the ones Cuomo should be angry with, and not my friend Joe Sobran...
...And did honest Mario apologize or give the slightest explanation as to why all those special interests were suddenly funneling money to his campaign...
Vol. 19 • May 1986 • No. 5
