The Washington Spectator

...They turned to their waitress...

...A somber affair, with weather to match: all day the...

...It is a comfort to know that at least one country doctor still makes house calls...

...The woman drew herself up to her full height—about four and a half feet in all—and replied with an air of finality, "Formosa...

...By the time we returned at 5, things had picked up...

...He would have had better luck at a DAR meeting...

...But I doubt that many of her readers that Sunday morning shared her bitterness...

...The following Sunday, Miss Mary McGrory wrote a column about the roast...

...Cohen has the beard, but Mary has the brass...

...Reagan had given them the assurance they needed," she wrote...

...It is tough to follow Death...

...hence much of what has become of Indiana's schools, public services, and units of government over the last twelve years can be charged to his account...

...sky threatened rain...

...When he is confirmed by the Senate, as assuredly he will be, Dr...

...As he sulks she snarls...

...Actually, AIDS might not even be a problem today had heterosexual congress been made more rational and adult many years ago...

...Each year we take special note of Gandhi's birthday, celebrating October 2 in ways the Mahatma himself would find congenial—having our picture taken next to a humble hand loom with a New Tbstament opened on our lap, for example—but we're new to this town and so do as the natives do...

...His mildness of manner is lulling and deceptive: he knows how to get power and use it...

...Should they, for example, order Peking duck or Beijing duck...

...The last communicant we saw, before the sky opened up and we ran for the subway, was a pleasant fellow in a pale-blue sport coat of European cut...

...The line was meant to be a bone-chiller...

...And particularly when that house is in severe disorder—as the bloated and feverish department is said to be, what with 140,000 employees, a $330 billion budget, and pandemic pandemonium...

...It was in a minor key...

...After the guest of honor had left and the jokes were only a bad memory, the assembled right-wingers drew close to a pair of television monitors to watch the President deliver his report to Congress...

...It looked like a bust...

...She was none too pleased, although she failed to mention that she figured in the occasion, obliquely, when John Lofton of the Washington Times referred to her as a "masculine Richard Cohen...

...3500 (up near South Bend), goes to Washington beladen with the affection and respect Hoosiers seldom heap on anybody but James Whitcomb Riley, Ernie Pyle, and Johnny Wooden...

...This 1:ad given her reason for hope...

...Except for some polite hissing when the cameras panned to Secretary of State Shultz, the crowd greeted the speech with equanimity, even relief: Reagan had not, in fact, sold the store...

...Let medical researchers now get on with the task...

...How do you pronounce the capital of China...

...In a Chinatown restaurant, not long ago, a small group of young professionals—urban dwelling, upwardly mobile, well-dressed, of a largely secular faith (a journal more given to vulgar shorthand would call them yuppies)—were discussing the bizarre transliteration of Chinese names foisted on a compliant press a few years back...

...If the good doctor's deep-voiced monotone and stocky, owlish, Spencer Tracyish looks come as a relief from the"louder, more resplendent personages of the federal parade, so does his brand of Republican moderate conservatism—non-ideological, undogmatic, unbelligerent, yet strongly and soundly principled...

...At 67, the family practitioner from Bremen, pop...

...It's up to you...

...He identified himself, guitar in hand, as the Whale Campaign Coordinator of the United States Humane Society...

...Finally, as the imbroglio over AIDS research suggests, the federal government has been shockingly remiss in funding research into the problems of sexual pathology...

...In her column McGrory noted that the right wing had been wary of the summit, what with the talk of all God's chillun watchin' "Sesame Street...

...So long as Mary McGrory attends right-wing affairs and leaves disheartened, we should rest easy...

...Also puzzled was one of the city's celebrated homeless, who responded to this challenge to his turf by stumbling around the edges of the crowd in his rag-tag pants and hitting up the faithful for small change...

...Lofton's point is well taken...

...But won't you help...

...She had slathered her face with white grease paint, and circled her eyes with black shadowing...

...His signal feat was to persuade the General Assembly to double the sales tax and, at the same time, to reduce and cap property taxes...

...Using her wooden reaper as a walking stick, Death stepped off the podium and strode silently toward Pennsylvania Avenue, where she tossed her gown and hood into the back of a blue Toyota and drove away...

...the faithful had carried the coffin down Pennsylvania Avenue in silent procession and placed it on a stage beneath the statue of Andrew Jackson, who looked down, puzzled, from atop his rearing horse...

...Death—for it was she—delivered a series of gruesome statistics in low, dramatic tones, appearing ill-atease...

...In the place of the present antiquated system let the scientists give us a series of small, state-of-the-art suction cups placed in the groin area and capable of effecting conception when mutually joined...

...Both male and female genitalia could stand a thorough redesigning, rendering obsolete the absurd male equipage, which is so injury-prone, and the equally absurd female equipage, which may be less fragile but from the point of view of hygiene is very difficult to maintain and which on some women actually constitutes a public health menace...

...Thanks to the good offices of Senator Dan Quayle, President Reagan has chosen Otis R. Bowen, M.D., former governor of Indiana, to treat the manifold ills of the Department of Health and Human Services...

...when we arrived at 12:30 only three people were milling about, and what's more each of them was talking...

...A series of speakers, more conventionally dressed, followed with diminished impact...

...she was asked...

...She concluded by looking at her shoes for a moment and then back at the congregation: "I have to go now," she said, "to return to my slaughter...

...THE AMERICAN SPECTATOR JANUARY 1986 47...

...Festivities began at noon with a silent vigil...

...This is a sobering thought...

...During his six years as speaker of the state House of Representatives and two terms as governor, Doc Bowen led in a way that was steady, forceful, and undemonstrative in style, but generally productive of good results in government action, and, better yet, deliberate inaction...

...THE WASHINGTON SPECTATOR There are some in this town of compromise who refuse to forget the First Principles of the Reagan Revolution...

...About thirty casually-dressed people had gathered around a small coffin, symbolizing the countless number of our bovine brothers and sisters who have fallen casualty to mankind's quest for the perfect burger...

...This year we went to Lafayette Park across from the White House, where the Farm Animal Rights Movement marked the old fraud's birthday with a memorial service for the "billions of innocent, sentient animals abused, slaughtered, and dismembered for food...

...She gets dizzy with excitement where he merely coos with pleasure...

...The service was called to order at last by a tall woman in a black robe and hood...

...Faced with Social Security's blurry future, the unsettling side effects of Medicare reform, and the AIDS menace, Doc Bowen will have to summon his full resources of even temper, common sense, and gentle but firm bedside manner—for all of which he is rightly admired...

...President Reagan returned from Geneva the night the Conservative Leadership PAC held its "roast" of Jesse Helms...

...Otis R. Bowen should be the best thing to happen at Health and Human Services since America was saved from swine flu...

...When he pouts, she thunders...

...But in the event it was Mary who was disappointed...

...In a high voice he sang a song of his own composing, "Rainbow Warrior Spirit," which he said was "part requiem for a crazy act which stunned our soul, and part a thing to make us keep on going toward that direction that the Farm Animal Rights Movement is taking us, hopefully...

...their refusing glances glowed with a fiery commitment to farm animals...