The Continuing Crisis

...Yet the tree remains...

...Crime endures as perhaps America's pre-eminent cause for consternation, and in New York City the incomparable New York Post has declared war not only on crime but also on the criminals' favorite accomplice, the judge...

...and a growing number of pundits began to notice that Ronald Reagan has been a tolerably successful politician...

...Not that the stalwarts of the Animal Liberation Front are all that kissable, but they must definitely be placed off-limits for the foreseeable future...

...Geraldine Ferraro's observation when her husband pleaded guilty to a charge of defrauding a New Jersey mortgage broker, reducing her chances of continued public service to slim and none...

...but toward the end of January, slowly, perceptibly, and with few signs of distress, certain magnificoes in the media seemed to be catching on: to wit, not all conservatives are depraved, insane, or moronic...

...In the House of Commons a former Government official revealed that Prime Minister Thatcher had rejected sexual advances from a drunken dignitary in Edinburgh's Holyrood Palace, probably in the early 1980s...

...If the Post has its way, New York City judges will travel exclusively by subway, preferably seated next to an odiferous street person...

...Actually, wholesome opinion has lived in dread these past four years, convinced that civilization's only protection against nuclear holocaust is traditional Soviet prudence and love of life, convinced that the Reagan budget cuts are transforming millions of American idealists into homeless waifs wandering the Republic dreaming of a warm spot in the library, an opportunity to read over the Magna Carta, and, perhaps, to drink a little Mad Dog 20-20...

...The Republic's average IQ dropped in January when within a week death took Huntington Cairns, Jameson Campaigne, Charles S. Hynemah, and Eric Voegelin, all of whom had in one way or another contributed to this journal...

...THE CONTINUING CRISIS • January marked the second inauguration of Ronald Reagan, a politician who, one decade ago, was adjudged by wholesome opinion to be a corpse worthy of a place in the Smithsonian, off in a wing devoted to lost causes...

...Bill Kurtis and Miss Phyllis George were spotted on January 22 disparaging drugs and attributing the increasing alarm over same to "the conservative trend...

...The Prime Minister is no friend of strong . drink...

...Nonetheless, there he was on January 21, driven into the Capitol Rotunda by arctic air, declaiming, "We are creating a new America, a rising nation once again vibrant, robust, alive...

...In Sacramento, California, Miss Tina Marie Chadma, 28, was nabbed for theft as she sat helplessly in her car, stranded in torrents of soap and water on the line of an automatic car wash by a quick-witted attendant...

...Maharishi Mahesh Yogi has declared that one can live forever if one follows the distinguished cleric's diet of crushed stones, mercury, and other metals and if one "remains healthy...

...In Bloom-ington, Indiana, the Manhattan of Monroe County, Indiana, Miss Glen-don R. Wininger, 40, was charged with murder for repeatedly dropping a bowling ball on the sleeping head of Mr...

...Is, the Liberals ask, the center of American life to shift to the country club and away from the intellectual centers where comic books and human feelings were studied and where one could in recent years do as a New York Times reviewer did, compare Abbie Hoffman to Mark Twain...

...Also in Bloomington, Mr...

...These apprehensions have been brought to our attention by the keepers of wholesome opinion over the past four years...

...In Jefferson City, Missouri, the Hon...

...Detmer was the owner of Bloomington Bowling Supply, and memorial contributions can be sent to Bloomington's Suburban Bowling Lanes in care of Mr...

...RET...

...Winona County, Minnesota suffered a major economic setback when a federal appeals court ruled that Mr...

...His theme was freedom...

...This is John's problem," was the Hon...

...Hodding Carter had a dithyramb in the Wall Street Journal acknowledging that if nuclear holocaust did take place during the President's first administration his aides had the good sense to keep it quiet...

...The fanatics believe that they are being deceived...

...Where the Machiavel Deaver will land remains unknown, but by the end of the month he was hospitalized, and still the President's popularity soared...

...Such talk was very alarming a decade ago, unless one was talking about the freedom to peddle adult monographs on such erotic mysteries as bestiality and "enema-love" or one's freedom to heave blood or excrement at an offending office or office worker...

...In London, Ontario, a group of these degenerates broke into the Human Sciences building of the University of Western Ontario and made off with a rhesus monkey infected with herpes B virus, a virus almost always fatal to humans...

...In Houston, Texas, voters turned out in stupendous numbers late in the month to reject a City Council-approved bill banning discrimination against conspicuous pederasty...

...Amongst youth the conservative trend is even more obvious...

...Alexander W. Astin of UCLA reports that a large majority of college students believe their college educations will make them more valuable on the job market-the evidence to the contrary notwithstanding...

...In fact many are not even members of that grim gulag of country clubs that spreads its influence throughout the Republic This is not to say that all the magnificoes have made these benign discoveries or that any have actually met a conservative...

...Not that New Age Liberalism is on the wane everywhere...

...but our panel of experts, patrolling the networks and the newspapers, has perceived an inchoate sense of discovery, on the part of some of these heretofore anti-conservatives...

...Bernhard H. Goetz, the neoconservative electrical engineer who shot four would-be assailants on a Manhattan subway, with attempted murder...

...In Bangladesh it was believed that as many as 150 died in the last cars of a burning passenger train, because the engineer scrupled over stopping the speeding train in an area frequented by train robbers...

...matrimony...

...Louis, has introduced a bill that would make nose-blowing an offense punishable by a fine of up to $200 if the appalling act is done in a "loud, obnoxious or offensive manner...

...Prof...

...Robert Locklayer, 35, who had been held in lieu of $30,000 bond on charges of rape, confinement, sexual deviate conduct, vehicle theft, and burglary, had all those sexual charges dropped when calmer minds prevailed and the woman upon whom he had lavished these attentions had some time to think about them and accept his hand in holy...

...Stephen M. Detmer, 37, her live-in boyfriend...

...Larry Weber...

...More young people are attending basketball games than ever before, and in Oak Park, Illinois, a thirteen-year-old boy is running for the village presidency on a platform that promises to oppose a local hand-gun ban...

...Fred E. Williams, a Democratic state representative from St...

...Police believe more than one bowling ball may have been used...

...Albert Hubenthal's 55-acre worm farm constitutes a public nuisance, and county officials began hauling off tons of meticulously prepared waste paper, cardboard, used tires, and metal Hubenthal had deemed essential to his operation...

...Senator Lowell Weicker became the highest ranking moral exhibitionist to be jugged for demonstrating in front of the South African Embassy, and Mr...

...A New York grand jury refused to charge Mr...

...And that conservative trend is vege-tant across the land...

...On the CBS Morning News, Mr...

...Miss Chadma had erred in giving him a stolen credit card...

...Washington's investigative reporters were caught with their telephones apparently out of order when out of the blue it was announced that the White House will soon have a Reagan and a Regan, and the Treasury will have a Baker and a Darman...

...In Mohiuddiaur, India, at least fourteen men, women, and children were massacred in a feud over a mango tree, the same tree that occasioned the death of two men and the arrest of nine others last August...

...Are the indurated materialists to triumph, building ever more private sector monstrosities when the public sector is not yet finished coveting its neighbor's goods...