The Continuing Crisis
THE CONTINUING CRISIS September 1985 proved to be the month that Prof. Arthur M. Schles-inger, Jr. and the faithful have been waiting for since that black day in 1949 when Mr. William F. Buckley,...
...Is the man to have no respite...
...The mayor of the People's Republic of Berkeley made a five-day visit to Nicaragua to find out, as he put it, "what we can send in the way of technical assistance," and Mr...
...The opsomaniacal little girl reached into the family freezer for some of the delicious stuff and there she found grandma, frozen solid...
...was elected chairman of the Yale Daily News...
...The Hon...
...But this was not enough...
...At any rate, Vanity Fair, a glossy package aimed at upper-income homosexuals, was activated by MI-5 in September to malign patriotic Americans, and its first assault was not surprisingly upon the idealistic editor of The American Spectator, whom Vanity Fair portrayed as a wearer of English suits, an associate of the English journalist, Peregrine Worsthorne, and∔most improbable of all∔a Crown Prince...
...It has now been two months since this column presented documented charges that left-wing journalists Mr...
...In Oakland, California, the head of the local teachers' union was ordered to stand trial for attempting a lewd act in a public comfort station, despite the defendant's plea that he would not be able to get a fair trial owing to the fact that the bathroom's toilet stalls had been remodeled to accommodate wheelchairs and now the jury will not be able to observe the original facilities as used by the defendant, Mr...
...Buckley to be rushed to the coronary care unit of Detroit's Harper Hospital...
...In Los Angeles, California, 23-month-old Miss Delhia Arias allegedly in cahoots with her parents became the youngest Californian ever to be accused of a felony after she was observed purloining the money folder of a Brinks' guard...
...Appalling manners and canine eccentricities restrict Hitchens & Cockburn usually to the swales of the far left, but Perfidious Albion has suaver agents at work nearer the American mainstream, for instance British-born Mr...
...Buckley was released the following day...
...Evans, now Editorial Director of U.S...
...Ira Shprin-tzen has filed a complaint with the California State Division of Human Rights against the Jack LaLanne Health Spa, which canceled his life membership when other clients complained that his obesity dampened their ardor for vigorous physical exercise...
...By mid-September he had been asked to journey to the Oxford Union to debate the Rev...
...September brought evidence that cocaine hits are also highly prized by major league baseball players...
...The Hon...
...Jesse Jackson, the proposition being "This House Has Had Enough of Conservatism...
...We found the dog doesn't like women," explained Miss Smith's lawyer...
...citizen in September...
...Miss Carolyn Pike of Annapolis, Maryland, suffered serious injury when the bed she was racing in at a local charity fundraising event crashed into a retainer wall...
...The heartless Mr...
...Though in England the sobriquet will probably be different...
...Truly the New Age Liberal is an odd fish, and do not be surprised if some day he has us all referring to AIDS as Rock Hudson's disease even as we refer to Amyothrophic Lateral Sclerosis as Lou Gehrig's disease...
...Christopher Hitchens and his fellow Englishman, the luxury-loving Mr...
...would be quick to pounce upon were it enshrouding one of their pet theories of right-wing skulduggery...
...Roger A. Gooden, in his hour of need...
...Pete Rose proved that one can live on a diet of cola and potato chips and still become a commendable performer on the field when he surpassed the late Mr...
...Public school bells rang throughout the Republic, once again inciting the violence that Americans have come to associate with public education...
...Dogmeat has been banned from the menus and marketplaces of South Korea in deference to visiting delegates from the International Monetary Fund...
...Acting with typical mindlessness, they avoided the reality that children go to school to be educated, that sick children ought not to be in school at all, and finally that AIDS patients are doomed, carry a terminal disease, and are nearly defenseless against infection...
...Alexander Cockburn, are covert agents of British intelligence, yet not one major American news organization has commented publicly∔a conspiracy of silence that Hitchens & Cockburn Ltd...
...he alluded to Republicans...
...Instead there were the usual rancorous strikes by inflamed teachers, and in some parts of the country an entirely new cause for confrontation appeared: AIDS...
...News & World Report, came to these shores to defame the redoubtable Mr...
...Only Liberals of the New Age could create such a pother...
...Terror again stole upon American Progressives when President Ronald Reagan, whose approval-rating with voters hit a prodigious 65 percent in September, notified a group of state legislators that he favored changing the Constitution to allow Presidents to serve more than two terms...
...Extensive tests followed...
...South Africa was again the scene of protests, along with Harrisonburg, Virginia, where militant vegetarians have been demonstrating against the Rocco Enterprises slaughterhouse...
...Moreover, he is practically the only non-homosexual ever featured in Vanity Fair's pages...
...Clark had a history of depression...
...Harold Evans and his wife, the confusingly named Miss Tina Brown...
...RET...
...Ty Cobb's record for hits, baseball hits that is...
...George McGovern gave indications that he may be moving toward the political middle when he addressed members of the Communist Party of Italy in convention assembled at Ferrara, Italy...
...As with so many of Arthur's beliefs this one wobbled along without any scientific foundation whatsoever, until September 13 when chest pains and betchuana tummy caused Mr...
...Murdoch, who, incidentally, became a U.S...
...No one knows for sure his retirement plans, but he could doubtless launch a creditable political career in downtown Berkeley...
...Even heart specialists could find nothing...
...The East German army has barred its soldiers from wearing earrings and "gaudily-dyed" hair, and back home 635-pound Mr...
...And in Bristol, England Mrs...
...Racial incidents are no longer a problem, as millions of families have fled from districts afflicted by forced integration...
...Washington, D.C.'s Farm Animal Reform Movement is behind the demonstration and it is their position that a slaughtered mammal suffers more horribly than the contents of a tossed salad, ripped from the earth and heaved about only to be drenched in oils and vinegar and thrust in a dark place...
...In sports Mr...
...Yet why...
...London's News of the World has reported that Lord Avon, son of the late Prime Minister Anthony Eden and a former aide to Queen Elizabeth, died of AIDS on August 17...
...The 1972 Democratic presidential candidate loaded up on garlic bread and vino rosso and explained that the experience was like facing any other group of political opponents...
...Rupert Murdoch, and he is probably the major source of all the calumnies directed against Mr...
...William F. Buckley, Jr...
...and, lo, Arthur has been vindicated...
...In Oakland, California, Miss Shirley Smith is suing a local kennel for $1 million for allegedly selling her a "sexist" dog...
...Pol Pot announced his retirement...
...Through the years Arthur has warned us that the editor of National Review has no heart...
...Squiffed on their mysteries, the New Age Liberals presented concerned parents as bigoted ignoramuses to be thwarted at every turn...
...Betty Clark, deceased, has seen to it that her nine-year-old granddaughter will think twice before eating ice cream...
...What vast power was insisting that a handful of very sick children be sent to school...
...Ed Herschler, governor of the great state of Wyoming, filed for bankruptcy listing $9 million in debts as against assets of $25,733, including a $l,000-watch, two rings, golf clubs, two fishing rods, a Winchester shotgun, four rifles, a pellet gun, two cowboy-style hats, and $2,000 in "personal memorabilia and miscellaneous...
...Today she will tell you that her misfortune is the consequence of a Cuisinart mishap suffered while she was trying to improve her cooking skills in preparation for her present job at Vanity Fair, but those who have dined at her table and survived say that her cuisine is intolerable and occasionally dangerous...
...September brought still more evidence of British intelligence's infiltration of American media...
...Miss Brown is the one-legged editor of Vanity Fair who lost her leg during a mysterious lawn-mower accident when she was stationed in London at the repellent Tattler...
Vol. 18 • November 1985 • No. 11
