The Continuing Crisis
THE CONTINUING CRISIS September passes and I can think of aught else but Mr. William Neal, 22, and his plastic bathtub. Mr. Neal set out from Helsinki, Finland late in the month on the last leg of...
...Neal set out from Helsinki, Finland late in the month on the last leg of a 1700-mile odyssey from London to Leningrad in a specially equipped 5-foot-long bathtub, hoping to get his name into the Guinness Book of World Records and to raise money for one or another of the noble causes that attract such hams...
...In other sports news, the Australian sailboat Australia II beat the American yacht Liberty to become the first foreign ship to win the America's Cup in 132 years, and in Prairie Du Sac, Wisconsin, Mr...
...RET...
...James Burnham and Senor Jorge Louis Borges, winners respectively of the Richard M. Weaver Award and the T.S...
...Noting that "the heavyweight championship has had a great symbolic and historical meaning to black people," civil rights leader Mr...
...Neal's craft for an instrument of espionage...
...Innis proclaimed: "Fate has assigned you a sacred mission: that is to retrieve the Holy Grail-the undivided heavyweight championship of the world...
...What if the Soviets take Mr...
...Kaliszewski the younger is a student at the John Jay College of Criminal Justice, where he apparently learned criminal justice too well...
...For the $150 or so worth of merchandise, it wasn't worth ruining a guy's foot for life"-though on future heists he will be able to avail himself of handicapped parking, or perhaps the state will arrange specially equipped public transportation during his getaway attempts...
...At his announcement ceremony, 13 days after the death of the 269 innocents aboard KAL 007, he could only say that the atrocity "underscores the folly of the present cold war tension," as if there were anything the United States could do to mollify Soviet paranoia...
...Many of the most revered columnists in the country sounded about the same (see this edition of "Current Wisdom") and so did many of McGoo's fellow Democratic candidates, but an eerie new gibber had invested their sonorities, to wit: they are now really quavering...
...Now that would be a festival that even Bishop Raymond Hunt-hausen could take part in with a serene conscience...
...Francis Rakowski, a burglar by trade, will receive"$75,000 from the man whose automobile he looted of $150 worth of goods back in 1977, a Minnesota jury has so ordered...
...In Benson, Minnesota Mr...
...The vicious habit of mind of the anti-smoking energumen was again revealed in all its bloodthirstiness when militant nonsmoker Miroslaw Kaliszewski, 21, savagely murdered his father after the senior Kaliszewski lit a cigarette in the first-floor living room of the family's Brooklyn flat...
...Ex-senator George McGovern announced his candidacy for the presidency, but then so did ex-governor Harold Stassen and which of these worthies would you prefer in the White House...
...Michael Dokes, on September 23...
...In Bethesda, Maryland, a Washington, D.C...
...Rakowski reported to the press...
...On September 2 one of those Greenpeace activists who figured in the group's July raid on a Soviet whaling station was indicted for smuggling 15 tons of marijuana into Maine...
...Then, to an agape world, they denied the deed for five days and never did apologize but rather blamed the barbarism on the United States...
...RET gutter...
...On September 17 Miss Vanessa Williams was crowned the first caligi-nous Miss America, which is not the only good news in the struggle for racial equality...
...There is no accounting for the vagaries followed by Stalin's heirs, but what does one make of the stone-headed members of the American peace movement...
...Two years ago the loquacious Judge Stevens was censured for making obscene telephone calls, and he has not been his old self since they took his telephone rights away...
...Clay's boyfriend who got duly squiffed "while having a few drinks at a nearby parking lot...
...They want to turn all America into an unarmed commercial flight...
...Why does this Pope insist on celebrating victories...
...Moreover, his route is well surveilled by Ivan's armed forces, and after the Korean Air Lines massacre of September 1 the whole world knows how jealously the Soviets guard their coveted territory...
...When will he learn...
...On September 10 the long ordeal of the husband of a deceased employee of Brownfield's Orthopedic and Prosthetic Company ended when the Idaho Supreme Court ruled that the husband is indeed entitled to job-related compensation benefits because his wife choked to death at her company's 1977 Christmas party...
...It's going to be a tremendous feeling to get to Russia,'' he said in a cryptic au revoir...
...Tremendous feeling indeed, he has no visa and his motor-propelled bathtub is without permission to enter Soviet territorial waters...
...They have merely redoubled their efforts to force-feed us their quack remedy, and what is that remedy...
...In Los Angeles, two-year-old Den-zell Owens has been found...
...It was during this ill-starred heist that the automobile's owner shot Mr...
...Rakowski in the foot...
...Why not blame it on Albania or the Holy Roman Empire...
...Harris had committed suicide after his book was published, a charge that while indeed slanderous is nevertheless plausible to anyone who has tried to read this moronic book...
...Denzell, the son of Norma Clay, was lost when he and his brother, Arell, were put under the care of Mrs...
...What if we fed it to whales...
...America's fulgurous procession toward pristine and perfect justice continues but not without sublime and derisory incident...
...During the past 13 years he has spent only eight months out of the jug and been convicted 40 times for the same inscrutable deed...
...Elwood Nolden, 34, is under suspicion of bank robbery after a man closely fitting his description robbed a bank by passing a note demanding money to two cashiers...
...Lynn Vandeberg and Miss Kay Hankins won their respective divisions in the Wisconsin State Cow Chip Throwing Championships...
...Eliot Award, Ingersoll prizes for creative endeavor inspired not by the gutter...
...Just days before the Soviet attack on KAL 007 the Oracle of the 1970s was whooping it up for Yuri Andropov and murmuring darkly about the Reagan White House...
...Gerrie Coet-zee, the pink-cheeked South African who won his title from Mr...
...Finally, mazel tov to Mr...
...In Los Angeles, Superior Court Judge Robert Stevens has been granted a disability retirement payment of $41,123 per year...
...Unfortunately the note was written on the back of a subpoena from the Allegheny County Common Pleas Court, bearing the address of the aforementioned Nolden...
...Psychiatrist Thomas Harris, author of that morose little classic I'm OK-You're OK, will collect $150,000 from a slander suit against a preacher, the leader of a fundamentalist Christian strike unit, and the California radio station that carried the preacher's erroneous report that Mr...
...In Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania Mr...
...and so they blasted it from the skies...
...was indicted for heroin possession in Rapid City, South Dakota, and finally we are being provided with a hint of what the green in Greenpeace means...
...still they have lost no standing whatsoever in the eyes of America's high and mighty...
...Why not a few military defeats...
...George Mitchell, 34, is back in the Davidson County calaboose in Nashville, Tennessee for stomping on ladies' feet...
...They ruined the rest of my life...
...I don't think it was too unjust for what they done to me," a philosophic Mr...
...Kennedyites felt the old glow, the arrival of yet another romantic struggle, when Robert F. Kennedy, Jr...
...In idealistic words that rang out gloriously where-ever the sweet science is reverenced, Mr...
...In a move that must have horrified many of America's gaudily irenic Roman Catholic bishops, Pope John Paul II journeyed to Vienna to celebrate the third centennial of the Christian victory over the Islamic hordes at the gates of Vienna...
...That was how they construed Korean Air Lines Flight 007, an unarmed commercial flight from New York to Seoul...
...Roy Innis of the Congress of Racial Equality has urged World Boxing Council heavyweight champion Mr...
...Larry Holmes to wrest the World Boxing Association's heavyweight crown from Mr...
...When he woke up "on the ground" he found Denzell had vamoosed...
...woman was electrocuted when a yogurt dispensing machine developed a short circuit in the cafeteria of the National Institute of Health, spoiling a large supply of the stuff that had theretofore been considered salubrious or at least harmless...
Vol. 16 • November 1983 • No. 11
