The Continuing Crisis

...Colleagues have come to call him "Your Holiness," and after work he's taken to dressing in papal robes and playing the role for charity...

...It was subsequently learned that Stokes, chairman of the House ethics committee, had used $4,000 in campaign contributions to cover his lawyers' fees...

...From now on, let's go easy on the USSR...

...Belated thanks, Jimmy, for hanging tough...

...Manley...

...But as the song says, there's been one child born to carry on-at Harvard, of course...

...Meanwhile Stanford University's decision to establish a Ronald Reagan presidential library on that campus has provoked outrage from Reagan critics on the faculty...

...Where else can a 16-year-old like Andrei Berezhkov plan a future as a comic actor...

...Colfax is the son of a former sociology professor who escaped the rigors of academic life eleven years ago...

...So is wearing a belt with her leotard ("to make me feel centered and conscious of my middle...

...We can be thankful that at least one good citizen of this formerly commercial republic had the good sense to know that capitalism does not begin with giving...

...They hated his jokes ("he doesn't seem to recognize in himself the mind-set that leads to such blunders," a Susan H. White of Farmington, Connecticut explained), accused him of neglecting his adopted son, and offered no sympathy when it was learned that the President emerged from all his talks with them with further loss of hearing in his right ear...

...At the Spanish holiday resort of Benidorm, some 260 British hooligans were arrested on assorted charges of public drunkenness and vandalism...

...Fonda is the sort of woman who knows what she wants and doesn't want: leotards cut high over the thigh are out ("they don't support the buttocks...

...Thank God none of us has the power to alter anything," Schmidt laughed, before admitting that "unemployment is not something that can be shrugged off...

...What the hell...

...But above all, she insists that her clothes be union-made and never need ironing...

...It's just the line of work for Jane Fonda, whose latest project is the selling of exercise clothes under the Jane Fonda Workout label...

...In Cleveland, more than 200 friends of Ohio Congressman Louis Stokes held a rally after his conviction for driving while under the influence...

...Secretary of Agriculture John R. Block and his family lived on food stamps for an entire week, and the experience led Block to conclude a generous five-year grain deal with the Soviets, the U.S...

...It is the rebirth of Hitler in the United States...

...This was 26-year-old Debbie Johnson of Absecon, New Jersey, a private nurse who won free use of a 1983 Pontiac for one year by outlasting 15 opponents in clinging to the new car for more than 93 hours in a showroom...

...The traditional cut is in (to "flatter the hips...

...The City of Memphis Hospital marked the occasion by dedicating its new Elvis Presley Memorial Trauma Center...

...What gives...

...A Pole would say they were acting like Germans...

...Now I understand why new cars are never advertised without some woman grabbing at them in a rather intimate way...

...It took 300 years or so, but America has finally sent a black man, Guion Bluford, Jr., into space, but who scheduled the nighttime launch...

...A garbage truck left tire marks on the faces of a couple basking on the sands of West Islip, New York, and California surfers were breaking their necks in record numbers, according to Howard Lee, assistant chief lifeguard for Los Angeles County...

...I bet it came from the huge frontpage advertisements carried recently in all the major newspapers of India under the headline "Governments invited to solve their problems," wherein the Maharishi Mahesh Yogi declares: "The World Government of the Age of Enlightenment announces its readiness to solve problems of any government-regardless of the magnitude and nature of the problem...

...It's the conversion of democracy into fascism...

...Carter, the only eligible luminary not invited to the Ford reunion...

...Peter's Square...

...This was a "legitimate campaign expenditure," explained Stan Brand, counsel to the House...

...To carry President Reagan's words a step or two further, if it wasn't for women like Fonda, us men would still be the only ones walking around in skin suits...

...Carter described it for him: "I'll establish over a period of time a center for the resolution of crises or disputes where groups or nations that have major differences between themselves which they can't resolve will come to us...

...THE CONTINUING CRISIS It was unbelievably hot again in August and people did what they could to cope...

...The Maharishi was once spirtual adviser to the Beatles...

...The British have become so brutish," said a Dutch boutique owner...

...This foreclosure is a victory," said the 43-year-old Rode...

...You can argue that the congressman's ability to exonerate himself through the legal process is going to be important in some respect to his ability to get re-elected...

...He simply could no longer put up with cleaning his teeth with his fingers...

...Let's impeach him first...

...Was Wheelock trying to console Mr...

...Compassion could be found in nearly every sector of society, even among the uncaring Reagan folk...

...It's unclear whether the center will serve the victims of music, drugs, or both...

...What other land would issue visas to nine visiting Democratic senators during Congress's summer recess...

...In Nicaragua they know full well what Schmidt had in mind...

...My question is why didn't Sperling ask Carter about where he came up with such an idea...

...Who else is conducting a purge of its uniformed police, or paying its living writers the highest compliment-the latest being Georgi Vladimov, just stripped of his Soviet citizenship...

...In Honolulu, Hawaii, 645-pound Mike Parteleno entered the World Belly Flop and Cannonball Diving Championship and finished third in the Super Flop category...

...Three Okmulgee, Oklahoma car dealers were indicted by a federal grand jury for allowing customers to use food stamps to pay for cars, a violation it turns out of the Federal Food Stamp Act, and in Houston, Texas, a kindly landlord named Walter Rode who refused to collect rents from his poor tenants was forced to watch twenty of them receive eviction notices from his building's new owners...

...I don't know if he knew who I am, but I hope so," Wagner said later, though the confusion may have been all his...

...God will provide"-and He'd better provide big: Rode's Mercedes-Benz was also repossessed, and his wife has filed for divorce...

...Please don't hold this against me when you evaluate my taxes," pleaded Farmer Boone as he hosed the tax man down...

...I don't mean to dwell on ethnic stereotypes, but former West German chancellor Helmut Schmidt was back to playing the good German when he joined Gerald Ford and other erstwhile Western leaders for a reunion of sorts at Ford's $2.5 million Colorado home...

...But we know from other sources that Carter is a man at peace with himself, Sandinista support or no...

...Yet this same Wheelock, according to the Times, spoke with "some affection" of former President Jimmy Carter...

...Godfrey Sperling, Jr...

...On August 17, Robert Wagner, actor and widower, met Pope John Paul II during the Pope's weekly general audience in St...

...committing itself not to renege on any of the shipments the way Jimmy Carter did in 1980...

...racy," agriculture minister Jaime Wheelock Roman told the New York Times...

...Nobody seems to have taught them how to behave to other people...

...President Reagan seemed to spend the entire month in the company of women, not that it made them any happier...

...What makes Russia so special...

...In Liverpool, England, there lives 50-year William Bird, a Catholic bobby who's a dead ringer for the Pope...

...This is risky business in a place like England, though, to be fair, the same country has just seen the release of the entire Bible in the King James version on floppy disks...

...I can't imagine when the students and faculty get back they are going to like this at all," said political science professor John F. Manley in calling for a delay in the planned ad hoc faculty committee report on the proposed library...

...Beaches weren't much safer...

...Just hold on a minute, Prof...

...Seriously, it's really not a bad world to be alive in...

...According to Soviet cosmonaut Valentin Lebedev writing in Pravda about 211 miserable days spent in orbit last year, it's home...

...He is Grant Colfax, an 18-year-old incoming freshman raised without electricity, television, or telephone on a backwoods ranch in California's secluded Mendocino County...

...In Stockton, California, 28-year-old Don King was asphyxiated when the water bed he was filling with water fell on him, and in Bedford, Virginia, an unidentified tax assessor fell into a seven-foot-deep manure pit while inspecting a farm owned by Norville Boone...

...One-hundred-year-old Scott Nearing, the acclaimed leader of the back-to-the-land movement, has returned to the land for good after expiring on August 24 in Harborside, Maine...

...We see Reagan as a decomposition of democRET is on assignment, but will return to this slot next month...

...of the Christian Science Monitor learned this when he traveled to Georgia to inquire about the "Center for Policy Studies" Carter is founding...

...Alas, he was thinking not of himself, but of Hitler, who "never would have come to power had we not had five to six million unemployed workers...

...Elvis Presley, as I recall, had no spiritual adviser, yet thousands poured into Memphis on August 15 to join in a candlelight memorial march highlighting "Elvis International Tribute Week" on the sixth anniversary of the King's demise...