The Fate of the Earth
Gold, Vic
which revolved around the Shah's figure was unlikely to remain intact after his departure and negotiate as an institution with the opposition. If Sullivan was to " o r c h e s t r a t e "...
...Hatfield, as a leader of the " n u c l e a r f r e e z e " campaign, can hardly be awed by yet another eye-rolling, hand-wringing dissertation on its behalf...
...Ross's article will delight fans of the Master Race theory who mourned its death in Hitler's bunker...
...However, this time it is being subsidized by that THE AMERICAN SPECTATOR JULY 1982 37...
...Perhaps this will comfort the Palestinian family whose home is blown up because a son or nephew is a PLO suspect and maybe it will explain to Arab students in the West Bank why their books must be censored by the Israeli military and their teachers carefully monitored lest they get too "uppity" on the idea that Arabs also have the right to a homeland...
...Has Mr...
...Well, I'll be goddamned...
...My arrival at the game was delayed...
...he said...
...These are serious people all, discriminating readers not apt to confuse an important book with a spooE Mondale, if memory serves, was once Vice President of the United States...
...Aided by sensitive, intelligent management, he might well have crooned his way into old age, with wrinkled beauties from Biloxi swooning at his every warble, much as grandmas from Hoboken now sit dreamily beside the slot machines in contemplation of Frank Sinatra...
...Ross I wouldn't want to live in a state like Syria or a "cage I can call home," but if I were a Palestinian living in Nablus or Gaza I might easily prefer such a state to the one where I now live...
...In this long book, exhaustively researched and execrably written, Albert Goldman exhumes the corpse for public inspection...
...And all this time I'd been under the impression . . . Ah, well, it serves me right for not being a devotee of contemplative New Yorker tracts, having acquired the slovenly habit, in the years since A.J...
...Magic Mitchell S. Ross is author o f The Literary Politicians and An Invitation to Our Times...
...The first and most generous is that the people in question have not actually read Schell's book...
...The Colonel knew all too well that he himself lacked the polish to handle the Hollywoodians, and so he took care to arrange respectable alliances...
...1 "Jr ;]_~ "1'~ .~ ' I', q" k\ ,4, Post OFFICE BOX 668 -1.MJ JL-Jl'~J )'Z...
...I knew that this had been done for reasons of greed...
...Back to Elvis...
...This virtually guaranteed that Elvis would exist in circumstances of unrelieved depravity, and so it was...
...A woman here, a swami there: These t h r e a t e n e d to make a new man of Elvis, but soon the iron hand of Colonel Parker would reach out and seize back the controls...
...Back to Bach...
...In the case of Elvis, not only did the talent cease to be unique...
...Simplistic...
...The Israeli army and politicians with their benign neglect of Jewish fanatics in the West Bank and the rantings of goons like Meir Kahane are doing a fine job of killing any chance of co-existence between Jew and Arab...
...Two paths indeed...
...What, he asks in his capacity as Seeker, is the Fate o f the Earth ? Then, after 231 transcendent pages pondering the metaphysical implications of the American-Soviet nuclear predicament, Jonathan Schell takes on the robes of the Great Guru, as follows: "Two paths lie before u s , " he writes...
...Yassir Arafat doesn't need PLO terrorists to fan the fires of Palestinian nationalism...
...Such people proliferate in the United States of America, where success is more highly valued than character...
...He shows it is alive and well in Israel and the West Bank...
...not to overlook the hosannas of Mark Hatfield, John Hersey, Jerome Wiesner, the ubiquitous Father Hesburgh, the hyperpyretic Rabbi Schindler, and the terminally empathetic Studs Terkel...
...A really f i r s t - r a t e psychiatrist might have helped Elvis...
...Liebling errantly chose the Wrong Path, of looking only at the magazine's cartoons, which are intentionally funny...
...Needless to say, Barry Commoner loves it, as does Thomas Watson, Jr...
...Schell," of course--as in Schell game...
...Here was a man utterly out of place...
...Harriman participated in the grueling negotiations that determined the shape of the table for the U.S.-North Vietnam peace talks of the late 1960s...
...Switch stations...
...exceptionally important reading" (Averell Harriman...
...Caldicott, as president of Physicians for Social Responsibility, can be expected to know a new Bible when she sees one...
...Money back if not pleased...
...Allow 6 weeks...
...Like Corey Ford's "John Riddell," it is part of the send-up...
...Curiosity caught me...
...It was E l v i s ' s fortune to fall into the hands of Colonel Parker, a very fat, Mephistophelean fellow with a bit of the air of Barnum about him...
...But in the case of messes such as Elvis and the author of this famous, erroneous observation, F. Scott Fitzgerald, there are often only two acts--wild success followed by abysmal failure~ The success is professional...
...How far offcan one be...
...And surely the redoubtable Cronkite, who in recent decades has not merely witnessed but defined The Way It Is for his fellow earthlings, does not truly find "hope to save our civilization" in the revealed truth that all we need to secure world peace is universal disarmament and a new global federation...
...At least in such a "cage" I would not have to worry about being dragged out of my home in the middle of the night or shot down in the street by Yiddish Nazis posing as religious settlers...
...The game was good...
...That both his tract and legend are towering send-ups, in the grand tradition of the old New Yorker of S.J...
...The men in the Kremlin would never abide a Schell game in their country, and for the most obvious of reasons: They are, as we know, a humorless lot...
...Like Mr...
...There are three possible explanations to pursue at this point...
...O B O O O O O B I O O * O O O O O O O O O O O W B O O m eBOO O OOI, CORRESPONDENCE (continued from page 29) support for the expulsion of the Arabs ( " B u t how are the Israelis permanently to absorb the Arab population of these territories and retain the Jewish character so essential to Israel's spiritual survival...
...Why, your very nora de plume is a giveaway...
...These two books alongside the embassy papers released in Iran do provide some...
...The Great Guru sat silent, then slowly framed his reply: "Life," he intoned, "is a Circle...
...Albert R. Doyle Valley Cottage, New York I am not an Orientalist or a literary critic, but I can recognize ethnic contempt when I see it and Mr...
...One leads to death, the other to life...
...It would be the worthiest of missionary efforts, but one, I fear, doomed to failure...
...Ross's article ("Allah and Man at Columbia," TAS, May 1982) reeks with it...
...Why...
...But wait: Could it be that I do "Jonathan Schell" a gross injustice...
...Married life was for Elvis an impossibility, as the King of Rock 'n' Roll could not stand the idea of sexual relations with a married woman, let alone with a mother...
...mere burps would have been as eloquent as speech from such a source...
...He was obese--not after the fashion of Santa Claus or Luciano Pavarotti, in whom f a t n e s s of body encloses largeness of spirit, but in the manner of one who has lost all self-control, and is beyond caring...
...Such characters are as common in this country as hugely successful messes...
...We are in deep ignorance...
...Are there any answers, then, to our questions concerning the information American diplomats possessed and the actions they took during the Iranian Revolution...
...According to the l i t e r a r y legend that accompanies this Sublime Tract, its author, an ec]itor for the New Yorker, invested no less than half-adecade in contemplation of our post36 THE AMERICAN SPECTATOR JULY 1982 nuclear dilemma, playing both roles, Seeker and Guru...
...With his control established, Colonel Parker proceeded to swing a long series of deals which, however lucrative they may have been for Elvis and the Colonel, were absolutely ruinous to the integrity of Elvis as a man and as an artist...
...It would be well for him to examine carefully how they came to be a minority in a few short years...
...That be said, and nothing more...
...or $8.50 (elsewhere) for a one-year I subscription, starting with the current issue...
...Alas, he dropped the baton before the overture...
...Then t h e r e was a timeout, a commercial, a n d . . , behold...
...CT 06426 U S A .~B J o h n s o n ' s turning Seven-Up...
...My thoughts avoided Elvis for several minutes...
...Are there no second acts in American lives...
...I hear a snicker...
...The same patronizing sarcasm can be found in numerous writings by English politicians and historians on the subject of Irish nationalism...
...Perelman, Woolcott Gibbs, James Thurber, and Corey Ford...
...The Colonel made of Elvis a great success, and Elvis made o f h i m s e l f a phenomenal failure: a sad story, thoroughly American...
...Why, yes, of course...
...How do the Liberals say...
...Well, why not...
...I had a short time earlier read the biography in question here, and so was familiar with the swinish maneuvers of Colonel Thomas Parker, who moved Elvis into movies a f t e r he had attained early success as a singer...
...I cross the Seven Seas to ask you, the Great Guru, the Meaning of Life, Vic Gold, author o f PR as in President, lives in Washington...
...I switched off the television set...
...Think of it: two paths...
...Perhaps of the century" (Harrison Salisbury...
...I believe it was James Thurber who, asked why so many great American authors have been ruined by alcohol, answered that once the authors become great they can afford to buy whiskey by the case...
...that his movies were never highly esteemed by any intelligent person...
...stinks of Dachau...
...That Life is a Goddamned Circle ?" The Great Guru was much perplexed...
...Yes, that's the word...
...It did not help, of course, that the various sharks of the e n t e i t a i n m e n t industry picked up where Colonel Parker left off...
...it ceased e n t i r e l y to exist...
...that The Fate o f the Earth is not dark parody but transparent jackassery, and a Jonathan Schell is indeed alive and well at the New Yorker, assured, no doubt, that his five years spent seeking after the ultimate truth of the circularity of life was not in vain...
...ELVIS Albert Goldman / McGraw-Hill / $14.95 Mitchell S. Ross Not long ago, in search of a basketball game, I flipped the television dial and found myself facing a celluloid image of the late Elvis...
...Ross forgotten that the Arabs were the majority in Palestine...
...Naturally, the Seeker of Ultimate Truth, having wandered the Earth to find the Great Guru, was nonplussed," not to mention, a trifle angry...
...Back to Elvis...
...But things did not work out that way...
...He was no Beethoven...
...t h e new Bible of our time" (Helen Caldicott...
...From time to time he would show signs of some interest in the world beyond drugs, sex, and rock 'n' roll...
...Let the Gideons of this "new Bible" take on that project...
...not even a Paganini...
...Elvis...
...His movements were awkward...
...that Elvis had never displayed the slightest aptitude for dramatic or film acting...
...And yet, I was unprepared for the sheer awfulness of Elvis the actor...
...The third is that my Woody Allen hunch is wrong...
...J. ],JLYJ" ESSEX...
...An artist...
...If Sullivan was to " o r c h e s t r a t e " the turmoil as his colleague Stempel envisaged, the only baton he held as conductor was the armed forces...
...you'll love VERBATIM, The Language Ouarter~' ly, dealing with all aspects of language...
...The trouble is that those who are unique tend to get marketed, and, once marketed, they cease to be unique...
...At least Mr...
...His most ardent admirers may indeed be mere hinds recently graduated from hookworm...
...and THAT's your answer...
...though, admittedly, it lacked the cachet of appearing on the pages of the New Yorker...
...I see your hand, you irreverent rascal...
...Shortly thereafter, Priscilla left Elvis for a karate instructor...
...Once their child was born, Elvis and Priscilla P~esley ceased sleeping together...
...Would that the Great Commoner, this one time, were right...
...Colonel Parker had the power to freeze Elvis with a s t a r e , and he did not h e s i t a t e to exercise this power...
...indeed, any authoritative male who could have rivaled Colonel Parker might have helped Elvis...
...Indeed, it can fairly be argued that not only the talent ceased to exist, but the human being, too...
...You mean," he asked plaintively, ' 'Life ISN'T a Circle ?" You've heard the joke, now read the book...
...Such is popular culture in the Republic that we are blessed with many talents both unique and marketable...
...Back to the dreadful diction, the awesome idiocy...
...THE FATE OF THE EARTH Jonathan Schell / Alfred A. Knopf/$11.95 Vic Gold "Tell me," the Seeker of Ultimate Truth asked the Great Guru, "what is the Meaning of Life...
...I watched for a few minutes, and then I could not stand it any longer, t switched the dial, found my game, and settled down...
...Instead he became a m o n s t e r - - spendthrift, drug-crazed, orgiastic, incapable of love...
...There are second acts, and third acts, and fourth acts...
...That idea, after all, has been kicking around for a while...
...And that partly, but only partly, explains the replacement of the penguins by crows, who incidentally thrive in deserts...
...And yet, and y e t . . . If this is the case, why are all the most deep-creased Liberal brows of the age taking this book to their collective bosom, greeting it, even in advance of publication, as "the most important book of the decade...
...A superstar is selling soda pop...
...The second is that they have read it, but are incredibly obtuse and / or trendy, even for deepcreased Liberals contemplating the challenge of Soviet power in a nuclear age...
...and trumping that, "required readi n g . . , for every concerned citizen of the world" (Gary Hart...
...He has written a book which, in the words of Barry Commoner, "gives us hope that we will, in fact, put an end to the horrendous threat of nuclear war...
...and on and on...
...A 1976 CIA study found among the embassy papers is in fact remarkably p r e s c i e n t about the Shah's f a t e . What the American diplomats posted to Iran failed to do was grasp the trend of events until it was too l a t e , develop a coherent strategy in response, or remember the role that accidents and personalities play in any revolution...
...But skeptic that I am, I remain unpersuaded and will temper my hope until The Fate of the Earth is translated into Russian, for must reading by concerned Muscovites...
...The problem was not a lack of information...
...the failure, personal...
...But somewhere along the way Elvis developed an honest and original girl for song...
...Woody Allen, come out from behind that curtain...
...Ross is honest enough to explain his attitude by telling the reader t h a t " the Jewish State is a special case among the nations of the modern world...
...Send I $7.50 (U.S...
...This is a benefit of Israeli rule that Ross coyly ignores...
...That this anguished cri du "cerveau is a deliberately banal exercise in the tired dialectic of the Bertrand Russell school of antinuclear protest, a dark parody aimed at mocking the vacuous moral pretense of that movement with such lines as: "In weighing the fate of the earth and, with it, our own fate, we stand before a mystery, and in tampering with the earth we tamper with a mystery...
...By the end of his 42-year stay on this p l a n e t , the late Mr...
...Presley was doped from head to toe...
...Elvis was a hugely successful mess...
...What then...
...one of the most important works of recent years . . . there may still be hope to save our civilization" (Walter Cronkite...
...a "historic" work that "should be read by all Americans" (Walter Mondale...
Vol. 15 • July 1982 • No. 7
