And Toto Too?
Nollson, John
fearsome time for old Democrats. Alerted to the arrival of the customary Republican tornado, whole families take refuge in theii cellars until the storm passes and the damage can be assessed. It...
...It's a rough game," said the Scarecow, knowingly...
...But how else can I get people to be afraid of me...
...They learned from a friendly policeman where the great Oz had his office, but an unfriendly policeman at the main door refused to let them in...
...the great Oz's secretary was not authorized to give out his home number, nor even his home address...
...They had not gone very far when they noticed what appeared to be a man lying by the side of the road...
...I shall gather up some of this dried grass and, in a jiffy, you'll be good as new...
...No," the lion agreed, "I'm not very frightening at all...
...Yes, child," the prone man continued, "I'm the Scarecrow, and I'm never going to make it back to Washington to see the great Oz...
...There's always been an Oz and there always will be...
...But then the demonstrators stopped coming and they had no further use for me...
...Thank you, little girl," said the man, clearly pleased with his new shape...
...Toto," said Dorothy to her faithful canine companion, "I don't think we're in Kansas any more...
...But I don't think you'll ever find him...
...But you are young and sprightly...
...And with that, -she helped the Tin Man to his feet and managed to get him walking again, even though his joints, to tell the truth, creaked quite noticeably...
...And, true to her word, Dorothy stuffed the man with grass and, with a stitch or two, .he seemed as good as new...
...Fortunately they were gently deposited in a large grassy spot...
...Oh," said the Tin Man with great poignancy, "Oh, if only I can get to see the great Oz in Washington, or even his secretary...
...I was hoping that you would be able to help me...
...Arf," said Toto in approval...
...But I know that as soon as the great Oz hears that I'm back in town, he'll let me have my old job back...
...He was studying a piece of paper that looked a lot like the ones Dorothy had seen floating in the air...
...You're not very frightening for a lion," Dorothy said...
...They gathered around a telephone booth and dialed the great Oz's number...
...said the Tin Man, the Scarecrow, and the Cowardly Lion in unison...
...He looked up at the four of them, but he could manage only the faintest roar...
...I am the Scarecrow, and I'll be your friend for ever and ever...
...Perhaps if I give you my resume you'll take it to Oz for me, and he will send his retainers out here to rescue me...
...But everyone knows there is one, and everyone knows where it leads...
...I would like to help you," said the man, "but I'm quite incapable of helping anyone...
...No one would be able to do anything unless I permitted it...
...Toto and I will help you get to Washington so that you can meet the great Oz...
...Unfortunately, Mr...
...Yes, I am," answered the prone figure, "my insides have been leaking and I am no longer able to stand erect...
...Humpf," said Dorothy, after placing her sixth telephone call, leaving only one useless dime, "I'm beginning to wonder whether there really is any Oz at all...
...Dorothy was touched by the pleading tone in the Tin Man's voice and decided that she could not leave him there by the roadside...
...But why would a scarecrow want to see the great Oz in Washington, D.C...
...Fairly soon, they reached the highway and they decided to stop for a rest at a roadside picnic place...
...Why, the next thing you'll be telling us is that there's no yellow brick road either...
...Dorothy watched them float down to earth, and she picked up one or two of them to see what they said...
...They fell silent...
...Oh, there's no need for that," said Dorothy, as Toto wagged his tail in agree- ment...
...Fortunately, Dorothy had a dollar bill which, she thought, could be converted into ten dimes for ten telephone calls...
...But all we have left is one dime, and that's not enough," Dorothy protested...
...Every so often they would prop me up against the iron fence to frighten all those demonstrators...
...It was getting late now, so the five of them decided to go to sleep and resume their journey in the morning...
...Yes, I guess not," answered the Cowardly Lion...
...You see," said the Scarecrow, "I used to work at the White House...
...My joints have been stiff for many years...
...Gee," said the Tin Man after a while, "things sure have changed since I was around here...
...That wasn't very nice," said Dorothy, disapprovingly...
...I certainly don't know," said Dorothy, "But from what I've heard, the great Oz is a wise and kindly man, and I'm sure he'll be able to think of lots of other ways for you to get your courage back...
...This time the wind was far stronger than expected, so great that Dorothy and her dog were lifted out of their cellar and blown hundreds of miles to the East...
...Of course, the great Oz believed they could make a useful contribution to the new America...
...In fact, I'm not very brave at all...
...Why, maybe I wouldn't even let them burn coal in the winter, no matter how cold it got...
...Why, in the good old days, you could call Oz collect...
...Toto and I are trying to find our way back to Kansas, and I wonder whether you could help us...
...in fact, they had come to rest not far from the famous Washington Monument in Washington, D.C...
...They noticed a funny-looking man at one of the tables...
...her aunt had seen the funnel cloud on the horizon and she shooed the children into the shelter...
...How can I help you...
...But I'm sure that if I were able to see the great Oz, he'd give me a very important position in the government, and then everyone would be afraid of me...
...Arf, arf, Oz is...
...Why, then I'm sure I'll be able to find all the oil I need so that I can be lithe and limber once again...
...Why would everyone be afraid of you...
...They got an early start and reached the capital about lunchtime...
...Well, I still don't believe you," said Dorothy, "and I'm going back to Kansas...
...But since the time this story was first written, the cost of a telephone call has risen to fifteen cents...
...Well, we will just have to find our way back...
...Oz was not in at the moment, but he would be back to them as soon as he could...
...But every oneyof them had the same word neatly printed across the top: RESUME...
...Because I'd be a regulator...
...Dorothy noticed that there did indeed seem to be straw poking out through every seam of the man's rather florid clothing...
...Dear me,"'' said Dorothy, her voice showing grave concern, "you do seem to be in something of a pickle...
...No, it was quite impossible...
...Just try one more telephone call...
...No Oz...
...That wouldn't be very nice," said Dorothy...
...The rest of you can spend the rest of your lives trying to get through to this Oz of yours...
...They set out in what they thought was a westerly direction...
...Oh, if only I can get him to look at my re'sum...
...Yes," said Dorothy, "and all our friends in Kansas will be terribly worried...
...I served in the Eisenhower administration, and they haven't been lubricated since...
...Yes, the great Oz did have a post office box, but it was filled to overflowing...
...Excuse me, sir," said Dorothy...
...But there aren't any demonstrators anymore," said Dorothy...
...One day, they dumped me by the roadside, where I have been until the very moment you found me...
...Please don't give up," said the Cowardly Lion...
...It's getting late, and if we don't get home soon, we will miss our dinner...
...The wind had died down, but not before it blew skyward hundreds of white sheets of paper...
...Yes, the great Oz did remember them from the old days...
...The only person I scare is me...
...asked Dorothy...
...I'm the Tin Man, you see, and my joints are so stiff from want of oiling that I am barely able to move...
...They had not gone all that very far when they came upon a motley-looking lion...
...It was no different for Dorothy in November of 1980...
...I don't know how we're ever going to get home," the little dog replied...
...Dorothy rushed to assist him, while the Tin Man creaked behind...
...Who knows, maybe he'll be back from his meeting...
...It was hard to make them out, they were all so different...
...Don't worry, Tin Man," said Dorothy reassuringly...
...Yes, they should check back with the great Oz in the morning...
...No, it was not known when the great Oz would return because he was in a meeting...
...Why, child, of course there's an Oz...
...asked Dorothy...
...Dorothy asked...
...I was a member of President Nixon's staff...
...So Dorothy, Toto, the Tin Man, and the Scarecrow all set out to find the great Oz...
...I'm a quite cowardly lion, you see...
...Well, not yet," the Scarecrow agreed, "Jut they'll be back...
Vol. 14 • February 1981 • No. 2
