The Continuing Crisis
THE CONTINUING CRISIS October, and something unsavory stews in Europe: rancorous shouts against our suave president's reiteration of long-established NATO strategies, "peace"...
...When will the galoots begin their demon strations against Scandinavia's fascists...
...Don't you agree...
...Steve Kunath has discovered that the Lincoln Memorial has the wrong date for the admission of Ohio to the Union...
...Gun smoke still wafted above the corpses as an intrepid cameraman panned the scene, focusing in on each gory wound...
...Actually, Mr...
...Social justice ensnared Yellville, Arkansas, at least tentatively when the Arkansas Humane Society forced the sponsors of the Thirty-sixth Annual Yellville Turkey Trot to desist from their time-honored practice of releasing turkeys (Meleagris gallopavo) from low-flying planes over metropolitan Yellville...
...This time they journeyed to Paris, Brussels, and London where they heard such magnificoes as Mrs...
...On October 10, some 250,000 Hun demon strators were bussed in air-conditioned comfort to Bonn, West Germany, where they yowled against those U.S...
...But now I think we are equal and rather compatible...
...In New York City, the District Attorney's sex crimes division has finally cracked the case of the phantom spanker and is charging a $50,000a-year IRS tax collector from Glen Neck, New Jersey, with perpetrating countless grisly spankings upon New York City coeds, notwith standing the fact that some had read Hannah Arendt...
...Finally, on October 25 still more antiGringo galoots clambered onto buses...
...Assassins were again busy...
...The highly reputable New York Times reports that at a recent Colorado Mental Health Conference she predicted that "women would suffer increasing mental illness in the Reagan Administration because the president believed women were less important than men...
...Yet, though he is good he could be better...
...Opponents of the National Rifle Association got a lift when Mr...
...In Denver, Colorado, a 25-year-old absent-minded holdup man attracted notoriety and cruel derision when during a robbery attempt he noticed that he had forgotten his firearm...
...baring their bosoms...
...Unrest continues to pother the Amherst campus of the University of Massachusetts where a university administration threat to ban coeducational comfort stations has brought out a vast amount of student opposition, especially from women who simply do not like the sound of segregated toilets...
...The entire massacre was carried live and unedited by our network television...
...John W. Hinckley, Jr...
...Sun Myung Moon was indicted in Manhattan on charges that he had filed false tax returns...
...For instance, he could send bills...
...THE CONTINUING CRISIS October, and something unsavory stews in Europe: rancorous shouts against our suave president's reiteration of long-established NATO strategies, "peace" demonstrations singling out the United States for especial vilifi cation and rebuke, orders to shape up our economy from President Francois Mitterrand whose own vision of economic rectitude is drawn from the socialist whoop whoop of Dr...
...In Tampa, Florida, the head of "Taxpayers Against Kiddy Smut" pleaded no contest to sexual misconduct involving an eight-year-old girl and a teenage boy...
...This time they mowed down Egypt's President Anwar elSadat...
...And in Chicago, Illi nois, the wise coves are still waiting for the response of Chicago feminists to that city's closing of a sex emporium which used only Susan B. Anthony Dollars for admittance to its obscene dance...
...On the subject of Jodie Foster he allowed as how her "overflowing brilliance used to intimidate me...
...and then allowing him to administer the old jolly-what-for across their buttocks-all under the pretense of searching for "the perfect screamer...
...The Rev...
...The error had gone unnoticed since the Memorial's dedication in 1922...
...Stephen J. Davidson, mas querading as a Hollywood talent scout, would hornswoggle the coeds into entering his "studio...
...donning red miniskirts, straw boaters, and Peter Pan collars...
...Responding to a list of twenty questions sent to him by the magazine, the fascinating young man also noted that 1) "watching too much television can cause numerous social disorders," 2) "Mein Kampf is a very difficult book to read and almost impos sible to understand," and 3) Ronald Reagan "is the best President we've had this century...
...Terrill Clark Williams, 42, finally located a judge willing to change Mr...
...Clark's name to God...
...We have talked to four women and three of the men, and they say he is articulate, glib and absolutely convincing...
...The Pentagon remains mum on how it will repair the ten-megaton Titan 2 missile that Mr...
...In Fresno, California, some of Mr...
...One, a severed arm with bone and muscle colorfully protruding, earned several close-up shots, revealing first the wound, then the maimed victim's dazed face...
...The victory, however, proved evanescent, for during the Yellville revels, an incognito death plane swept low and released two plump turkeys while accomplices in nearby buildings committed defenestration most foul with ten more helpless birds...
...Thomas Coffman, the discriminating American who shot his television set 31 times, has been fired from his job as a carpet cleaner...
...Davidson could have saved himself a lot of time had he begun his search with Congresswoman Patricia Schroeder...
...Let's give the man a chance...
...Certainly he has a-point, and the federal judiciary in the District of Columbia being what it is, there isa very good chance that one of the judges, say J. Skelly Wright, will order a trial reconciliation for the young couple...
...This guy is good," Nassau County Detective Diane Berni reports...
...Norman Lear's most chilling fears re the spread of the Christian camorra were realized when Mr...
...Apparently the accused, Mr...
...Marx...
...On Oc tober 18, the Greek electorate voted in the Socialist opposition, composed in the main of the kind of philosophical positivists who sing the Internationale, rob everyone from the flower vendor on the corner to the village pharmacist, and-their country now bankrupt - head off to the United Nations, tin cup in hand...
...Now, alas, the Holy Rollers are at work even in the judiciary...
...Of course, what stews in Europe is vin tage anti-Americanism, and by the end of the month columnists as sophisticated as William Safire were beginning to question aloud how long the United States was going to remain Europe's abused nanny...
...RET...
...James Richard Saunder, a member of a Catholic Peace group, sprinkled with holy water, and Mr...
...Finally, at the end of the month the world's citizenry was on tenterhooks as the Swedes issued immature and dangerous threats against the Soviets, all because a lone Soviet submarine had foundered ten yards off a Swedish shore line...
...Were Nero's Rome still a going concern, would the doings at the Colosseum be featured on ABC Sports, or on ABC's "World News Tonight" ? It is a question to ponder...
...In Long Island a telephone caller posing as a psychiatrist has duped at least ten married women into picking up men, bringing them home, and entering into amative sport with them while he urged the women on from the other end of the line...
...women would suffer greater depression as a result of viewpoints in the Reagan Adminis tration...
...It was American television at its noble best, and naturally the airwaves resounded for days with windy testimonials from TV personages, mak ing us all privy to what old Anwar meant to them, what he had confided to them, and so forth...
...It's something I've wanted to do for a long time," the writer and broadcaster explained, but until recently he had been unable to find an agreeable judge...
...defense policies that have so saddened their heroic Soviet friends...
...Kurt Waldheim and the lunatic WedgwoodBenn pound their heads and froth against buga boos...
...endorsed gun control in the October 12 issue of Newsweek magazine...
...There is a stupefying screamer for you...
...Even by the standards of New York City coeds this was a shocking case...
Vol. 14 • December 1981 • No. 12
