The Continuing Crisis

THECONTINUING CRISIS . September. And our debonair president continues to smile, but from off stage there are growls and shrieks. Arthur M. Schlesinger, Jr., suave butterball that he is, senses...

...And in Salisbury, Zimbabwe, the government unveiled a new Zimbabwean coat of arms displaying a hoe and a Soviet-designed AK-47 assault weapon...
...Mr...
...Worse still, under the new regime toilets are being flushed...
...Flies and mice have been executed...
...Lewisohn, a convicted uxoricide, had served over six years of his life sentence before a proper court could be found to grant him a retrial...
...And finally it is possible to end an installment of the Continuing Crisis on a cheerful note...
...Allah be praised...
...however, it is known that the whole Carter family has viewed with horror reports that Nancy Reagan is heading a counterrevolution at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue...
...The stock market has gone down...
...Florio was taken to a nearby hospital where she was listed in stable condition by her veterinarian...
...Miss Tula, before her appointment at the abattoir, was actually Mr...
...Mr...
...Wall Street is gloomy...
...Harper's magazine announced that Michael Kinsley, formerly of the New Republic, will replace Lewis Lapham as editor, and Oui has suffered catastrophe...
...Miss Lillian did not divulge her sources...
...Morever, it is now too late to pull them from the December issue...
...Lara Florio brought her to grief when her husband Emanuel mistook her for a woodchuck and shot her as he "got a glimpse of the back of her head" during a hunting outing...
...If the phenomenon continues, Solidarity could become the eponym for hundreds of American staples: a new dance, a special cut of blue jeans, colognes, the list is endless...
...From behind the barbed wire, America's cowed and starving women let out an appreciative bleat when on September 25 Mrs...
...Treasury...
...Truman Capote has again crashed to the floor...
...Yet vestiges of the Old Order remain...
...Finally, from Tama, Iowa comes word that the friends of Mr...
...In Iran, where the mullahs and their dirty-necked galoots continue to bump each other off with holy savagery, it was announced that dissident leftists are forming suicide squads...
...Quite possibly, the Great Republic is becoming more conservative...
...Now the mountebanks face hard times...
...Barry Cossey...
...Reagan is "ruining" the White House...
...Since absconding from the scene of a murder last summer, the author of In the Belly of the Beast has turned out two more interesting letters, and with yet another murder to his account devotees of jailbird chic will be following his incarceration with high expectations...
...A development as yet little noted is the growing charm accruing to the word solidarity...
...In Westchester, New York, the unusual features of Mrs...
...Of course, there exists no compelling proof that Judge O'Connor is a woman...
...Ever since January 20 bed sheets have been changed daily...
...RET...
...The singular Miss Lillian, she of the Moon Pie regime of yesteryear, has confided to an interviewer from McCall's that Mrs...
...Vernon Jordan, one of the few non-clergy to make a go of it in the modern-day civil rights movement, announced his resignation as president of the National Urban League so that he might take a plush leather chair at the Washington law bordello of Robert Strauss...
...Hunt...
...The Right Rev...
...These are the signs that Conventional Liberals now take very seriously...
...Last month its editors, all highly trained students of the female genitalia, were forced to acknowledge that they had been hoodwinked by pictures of the beautiful Miss Tula...
...In Judiciary Committee hearings Judge O'Connor offered no evidence, and from transcripts of the hearings it is clear that no senator even asked her...
...And joy made a rare appearance at the office of the New York Review of Books when that sepulchral journal's latest good cause, Mr...
...George Hunt, Episcopal bishop of some 43,000 Rhode Islanders, gave the heathens hope when he urged his parishioners to oppose efforts to proscribe abortion lest anti-abortion laws pass and Episcopalians lose "their God-given duty to make responsible choices"-an admirable elocution whose logical conclusion is eminently desirable, namely: the retirement of gasbags like the Right Rev...
...A less civilized man might have shot himself and, if he were a patriot, taken a few of his hosts along with him...
...Friends of poesy were ebullient when the poet James E. Lewisohn was released from prison in the very same week that one of his powerful, brutal, truthful, yet disgusting and compassionate poems appeared in the New Yorker...
...Arthur M. Schlesinger, Jr., suave butterball that he is, senses problems looming for the Reaganites, and so does Joseph Kraft...
...The resilient novelist, who made a similar trip last month, is beginning to spend so much time on public floors that it might be apropos for him to carry a scrub brush somewhere on his person the next time he goes out...
...Poland continued to bubble and to broil throughout the month, yet the Polish trade union, Solidarity, actually wrested some genuine freedoms from the Polish government as the Russians scowled...
...On September 25, the government agreed to worker self-management at non-strategic factories...
...They called their revival Solidarity Day...
...Hill cannot be blamed...
...Already the word is being hijacked by such clever operators as the New Age clergy, homosexual lobbyists, aggrieved fat people...
...Late in the month a White House guard was charged with armed robbery after allegedly holding up a Laurel, Maryland bank...
...Ed Haberman are again asking the famed collector to turn over at least par' of his collection of old rags to New York's Museum of Modern Art...
...San Franciscans were stunned when the leaders of that city's National Organization for Women resigned claiming that the group has been taken over by the revolutionary Socialist Workers Party, a misfortune that has also befallen NOW chapters in Los Angeles and New Jersey...
...In Rotherham, England, English Naderites were scandalized when the winner of their safe-driving award, truck driver Michael Hill, drank himself to death during a reception in his honor...
...The Haberman collection, which includes over 13,000 rags some of which are unbelievably dirty, has been accumulating since the 1950s, and there can be no doubt that almost any pile now in the Haberman garage or basement would make a tasteful complement to almost any room in the MOMA...
...He drank 20 pints of beer in three grueling hours with these goody-goodies...
...Of course, Mr...
...In the last year of the Carter administration, the League was provided with more than $110 million in federal grants and contracts for the pursuit of dubious goals through still more dubious means...
...and on September 19 an agglutination of these suffering situations latched onto the American labor movement and held a carnival in Washington, D.C., to notify President Reagan that at least they want to continue taxing themselves to death through the mysterious ritual of inflation rather than practice chill economies...
...Jack Henry Abbott, was arrested in Morgan City, Louisiana, unharmed and still in command of his amazing literary faculties...
...No feminists were allowed to question the former Arizona appellate court judge...
...Oui connoisseurs have been duped by doctors practicing the plastic arts...
...Rising from humble origins the Urban League became a rococo fount of shaky social science and oddball metaphysics, supplied by a direct pipeline from the U.S...
...Sandra Day O'Connor became the first woman to sit on the Supreme Court...

Vol. 14 • November 1981 • No. 11


 
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