The Continuing Crisis
THE CONTINUING CRISIS • August. On the mountaintop Ron rests, and below in the valley 1970s New Age gasconade swats flies and runs for its life. The Mullah Brown, who once promised to lead us...
...On August 22 his foul-tempered wife Osra flew to Paris and was granted political asylum before Mr...
...Russell Kirk has called the permanent things, the Reagan administration announced its decision to assemble the neutron bomb, the bomb that destroys human beings but not structures...
...Abbott's high art stirred the eminent and humane Mr...
...Joseph Buillou has been arrested in Morocco and charged with blasphemy for replacing a shipboard picture of King Hassan II with a large and obscene sausage...
...Protesting that, in the words of Mr...
...It was on that flight that the U.S...
...They send petitions to the Friends of the Earth and the Audubon Society demanding that the wretched Medfly be put on the endangered species list before it is too late...
...Ronald Fieve and his publisher for claiming in Fieve's Moodswing, the Third Revolution in Psychology that Shapiro had committed suicide...
...Some have taken with the fruits...
...First she waved to her startled cabin attendants, then she burst into the captain's cabin and waved to members of the crew individually, then she seated herself by a window and waved for twenty minutes before the plane even landed...
...They carry it remorsefully to a common grave...
...In church news, the Rev...
...George J. Dailey of South San Jose, California, can write...
...Peter Fonda laid violent hands upon a sign reading "Feed Jane Fonda to the Whales...
...On July 18, the awesome Mr...
...Then Prince and Princess motored to the Queen's estate, Balmoral, where they spent the remainder of the month laughing and reading American comic books...
...In Memphis, Tennessee, three ministers employed strong orisons and golf putters to repulse an aspiring mugger who had accosted them while they were in the act of golfing...
...Thousands of music lovers gathered at the home of Elvis Presley to commemorate his death...
...Gloom continues to mount for Mr...
...From Peking comes word that "Jingle Bells" is the favorite American tune among the Chinese...
...Still others, without question, have grown elegiacal over the flies...
...And that jailbird belletrist, Mr...
...Some have beheld the clouds of malathion and feared for their persons...
...Jimmy Conyers was convicted in Winston-Salem, North Carolina, of slavery...
...French seaman Mr...
...Unfortunately his navigational calculations were off, landing him in unoccupied front row seats, damaging his person terribly, and spoiling the evening for everyone else...
...but when San Francisco's toughies attempted to duplicate the spectacle with a homosexual rodeo of their own they were ambushed by a cabal of kooks, namely: a group calling itself Gays and Friends for Animal Rights (GAFFAR...
...Thousands formicated upon Reno, Nevada, for the sixth annual National Homosexual Rodeo...
...It was a mixed month for homosexual cowboys...
...By the end of the month rumors that Princess Diana was in the family way began circulating, and not a minute too soon...
...The happy couple flew to England on a RAF VC-10 on August 15, and according to informed sources Princess Diana began waving a full hour before the plane landed...
...The Rev...
...Mark Chapman's two-day long hunger strike, and on August 24 the murderer was sentenced to 20 years-to-life in the hoosegow for shooting Mr...
...Three congressmen convicted in the ABSCAM scandals were given prison sentences, and on August 25 the Senate ethics committee voted unanimously to recom mend the expulsion of Senator Harrison A. Williams, the ABSCAM scandals' only senator...
...Terrence Des Pres to sing in the July 19 issue of the New York Times Book Review that Abbott's In the Belly of the Beast is "awesome, brilliant, perversely ingenuous...
...The Mullah Brown, who once promised to lead us over the nefarious forces of the Fortune 500, modern sci ence, and villainies too heinous to contemplate, is being slowly entombed by the lowly Mediter ranean fruit fly, and his kook mob of New Age constituents have left him to suffer in solitude...
...England's royal newlyweds returned from their two-week cruise of the Mediterranean, still smiling and waving ebulliently...
...its impact is indelible and as an articulation of penal nightmare it is completely compelling...
...Abolhassan Bani Sadr, the recently cashiered President of Iran...
...Jack Henry Abbott, whose letters to Mr...
...A luscious cheese sandwich thwarted Mr...
...Then they snort some coke, and pray to Beelzebub for the soul of Jerry Brown and all the other fallen messiahs of yon years...
...In a strategic decision revealing its reverence for what Dr...
...John Lennon...
...Poet Karl Shapiro is suing Dr...
...And in Annapolis, Maryland, a 20-year-old man died while attempting to swallow a live fish...
...Congressman William L. Clay was cruelly humiliated by an Ozark pilot...
...Norman Mailer made him such a sensation at the New York Review of Books, is still on the lam...
...They stoop to pick up every winged victim...
...Abbott allegedly rammed a knife into the heart of a New York City waiter who had refused him the use of a toilet...
...And, finally, sex educators all over America were given something to whoop about when it was announced in Parents magazine that one teenage girl out of ten becomes pregnant each year...
...If this behavior distressed the Prince, he gave no indication and, in fact, once the plane landed his Royal Highness joined with his wife in smiling and waving the instant the plane's door was opened...
...Louis...
...In Marseilles, France, a 22-year-old music student in the second balcony of the Marseilles Opera House became so inflamed during a performance of Parsifal that he assumed the pose of a pterodactyl and hurled himself toward the stage...
...A federal appeals court in Denver has dismissed a suit filed by a Salt Lake City man whose ultimately fatal bed-wetting problems had been repeatedly misdiagnosed by military doctors...
...Conyers is the fourth potentate in the Church of God and True Holiness to be sentenced for the enslavement of church members...
...The Hon...
...Playboy magazine editors may have a goldmine available to them if only Mr...
...Bani-Sadr could make any move to protect himself...
...Meanwhile back in the United States, customs officials in Los Angeles arrested a foreign student from Nigeria when they became suspicious of a slimy substance trailing from her coat...
...August 16 was the fourth anniversary of the singer's fatal bowel movement...
...Finally, such progressive ecclesiastics as the Bishop Paul Moore were given much to ruminate upon when 3,000 sodomites attending a six-day meeting of the Universal Fellowship of Metropolitan Community Churches proposed eliminating male references to God in favor of such "sexually balanced" terms as "the Breasted One," "nurturer," and "Floral Arrangements...
...Pictures from Balmoral had shown the Prince to be wearing what seemed to be some sort of skirt, and the news of the Princess's impending tumescence was reassur ing indeed...
...Eric Mills, "Rodeo is an exercise in domination, man or woman, over beast, one step removed from rape," GAFFAR made it impossible for San Francisco homo sexuals to raise the money necessary to bring their rodeo to fruition...
...Upon inspection it was discovered that she had sewn into the coat's lining a dozen Giant African Snails, some of them a foot long, and all of them disgusting...
...Dailey is the 290-pound sewage plant worker and connois seur of erotica who has been accused of kidnapping a 12-year-old girl, holding her captive for 157 days, and committing a dozen felonious acts not the least of which was lewd and lascivious conduct...
...Two Libyan fighters over international waters fired upon two American F-14 Tomcats and were duly turned into scenery for the fishes, thus teaching that when attacking Americans it remains preferable to attack unarmed Ameri cans...
...August witnessed an illegal nation-wide strike by federal air traffic controllers which took a nasty turn during an Ozark Air Lines flight from New Orleans to St...
...Clay, a champion of the traffic controllers who has accepted campaign contributions of over $8,000 from them and placed a bill in Congress to raise the base pay for some to $102,788, sent a brisk note to the pilot warning him that he did not want to hear any more personal views on aerodynamics or the strike over the pilot's public address system, only to have the pilot inform him that he had misspelled aerodynamics...
...Congratulations teachers...
...RET...
Vol. 14 • October 1981 • No. 10
