The Continuing Crisis
The Continuing Crisis - and it is now numbingly apparent that America is governed by an imbecile. Did you note his flummoxing of the UN vote condemning Israel? Did you note his March 29 letter...
...Is the press in a stupor...
...Wherever he does go he conjures up scenes of squalor and destitution: chimney sweeps hornswoggled by tycoons, children orphaned for the fun of it, the aged driven from their homes by smirking bankers, cabals of white supremicists oppressing woebegone darkies...
...It was never seen again...
...Richard Millington, a local dowager...
...Jos~ Antonio Valencia, came a cropper when he smuggled himself into that ill-starred reception at the Dominican Republic Embassy in Bogota, Colombia...
...Though never accepted by Philadelphia's polite society--such as it i s - - M r . Bruno's funeral brought out over a thousand mourners...
...A microphone in Stockholm, Sweden, sprang to life and electrocuted the Rev...
...Finally, the long-concealed truth is leaking out about "humane societies...
...Where is the Firestorm ? _9 Europe is shocked...
...thieves now appear before the Court out of all proportion to their number in society at large...
...Police in Leeds, England, have discovered a mass grave containing at least 250 pet cats and dogs...
...In Boise, Idaho, the indigenous humane society is being sued for $261,500 for its barbarous treatment of Pup, the priceless German shepherd of Mrs...
...But to turn around the next day and disown the l e t t e r - - t h a t was the blunder that set all Europe agog...
...Webster who, during a family tiff last May, petulantly heated up a skillet coated with lard, and, in the presence of Mrs...
...Webster a d m i t t e d The terror ended when he heaved the unfortunate Cricetus minimus from the verandah of his top-floor fiat...
...Did you note his flummoxing of ttte UN vote condemning Israel...
...9 Otherwise Senator Kennedy cares deeply...
...A frankly gleeful story in from the New China News Agency reports that a Marxist-Leninist telephone operator in northeast China has completed her 590,000th call without error or complaint...
...9 Consumerists in Abilene, Texas, were singing "I Told You So" when it was learned that the Southwestern Bell Telephone Company had inadvertently listed the Elliott-Hamil Funeral Home in its yellow pages under "Frozen Food--Wholesale...
...Chacon held a lively press conference, and the Yankee Colossus was again wearing grease paint and baggy pants...
...There he accused the assembled capitalist roaders of funding the rightist terrorists who he hypothesized were responsible for the March 24 assassination of Archbishop Oscar Arnulfo Romero...
...9 Finally, in Sioux Falls, South Dakota, has been found the Wonderboy's ideal Supreme Court nominee: Judge Richard Braithwaite, a confessed kleptomaniac who has pied guilty to shoplifting charges and who will be allowed to remain on the bench thanks to an understanding Circuit Court...
...J u a n Chacon had also just been assassinated...
...Angelo Bruno, a penniless immigrant who rose to become one of the most powerful and prosperous vending-machine sah'sman of all time despite almost constant harassment from the FBI, died of acute lead poisoning on March 21...
...Rip Howell, a 23-year-old geology major from the University of Southwestern Louisiana, failed halfway through his attempt to spend 34 hours seated in a tub of ketchup...
...Irene Webster, was fined 50 pounds by Sheriff Philip Love...
...Joseph Fiorello, cousin to the deceased, stated categorically, "He was one of the finest people I have ever known...
...Is it not time t h a t kleptomaniacs too be represented on the High Court...
...How about the goofball March 4 address where he inadvertently yet blithely overlooked two key pages...
...Today there are the White House Blunders...
...Dickens Could starcely improve on it...
...When will our press report their shock and their steady drift away from their North American ally...
...At this writing the suave Mr...
...One merely has to read the foreign press to grasp this terrible fact...
...Yet there follows no Firestorm, no outburst of indignation...
...Miss Janice Morrison, brazenly saut~d the family hamster...
...In Aberdeen, Scotland, justice was served when Mr...
...All the world knows that, too...
...Alexander Webster, estranged husband of Mrs...
...Now the Hijra (Eunuch) Association of Basti District has formally proposed that the Uttar Pradesh state government recruit eunuchs for this sort of police work, a proposal that will doubtless inspire many a feminist on our side of antiquity...
...They grow ever more frequent and possibly ever more idiotic...
...He was a nice man, a good man," said Mrs...
...It was Mr...
...On March 12, another female coal miner, Mrs...
...I had a few drinks and was feeling a bit low so I just fried the t h i n g , " Mr...
...Eleanor R. Bowen of Mingo County, West Virginia, died in the line of duty...
...Mr...
...Amelia Rubolina...
...9 During the Watergate Spectacle there were the episodic Watergate Revelations, each one followed by a " f i r e s t o r m " in the press...
...9 Proof that champions of traditional societies can provide fresh solutions to contemporary problems comes from the remote parts of India's Uttar Pradesh state, where much concern has been registered over the lascivious ways of those local police covering sex crimes...
...What has happened to our venerated Fourth Estate...
...His anthem, axiom, panacea, and political first principle is "There is nothing that can be done about i t " ; and the galoots around him applaud...
...Not 30 minutes after Mr...
...According to reports from Latin America, one of the most highly regarded gate-crashers in the world, Mr...
...Valencia had grasped his first canape, the Embassy was overrun by the heroic urban guerrillas of the April 19 Movement...
...There should be a howl from every editorial column...
...Webster and her friend...
...W h i t e ' s sermonics a robust and inflamed Mr...
...All the world knows that...
...and Dr...
...Another contributor to the classified section of the New York Review of Books may be in trouble...
...He has now evolved into dithering imbecility...
...within hours of Mr...
...In sports news, the Carter constituency fell into the mulligrubs when Mr...
...It is a sad tale...
...Are the boys stationed at the Washington Press Club bar as imbecilic as the dolt in the Oval Office...
...There should be a Firestorm accorded every blunder...
...He then declared in stirring dudgeon that leftist leader Mr...
...Still a lawfully constituted government simply does not renounce its vote by saying ever so vulpinely that it resulted from a "failure in communications...
...How about that interview with the lVas/~ington Post's Meg Greenfield wherein he states that, notwithstanding an 18 percent inflation rate and 20 percent interest rates, " t h e people are prosperous and at e a s e " ? Verily he is an imbecile...
...9 The Carter administration's UN vote was an egregious breach of faith with a responsible and reliable ally...
...And that sniveling, idiotic epistle that the Wonderboy sent to Iran, that was an almost unimaginable blunder...
...Finally in Detroit, Michigan, those two policewomen who had chastely refused to assist a male colleague when he was attacked by a nude man burning money were dismissed from the f o r c e - - t h e first dismissals for cowardice in the city's history...
...It is more shocked by these White House Blunders than by any of the Watergate Revelations...
...RET 2 THE AMERICAN SPECTATOR MAY 1980...
...Robert E. White, America's newly-appointed Ambassador to El Salvador, engauded the legend of the Carter administration with a stupefying speech to the San Salvador-American Chamber of Commerce...
...In terms of international relations the Wonderboy's Blunders are more dangerous than the Watergate Revelations...
...Here was a memorable instance of Carterism with its grinning face...
...Back in the States, the sexual harassment of women is reaching crisis dimensions, so much so that the editors of Ms are losing faith in the system...
...He entered office as a pert ignoramus...
...When will the domestic FirestJrms begin...
...Valencia, along with nearly 20 ambassadors, languishes in their stern grill, and no one, not even Senator Kennedy, seems to care...
...Throughout the month he continued to whine and to blubber across America, maundering over the plight of the poor and fuliginous and threatening retribution to the privileged few--that is to say, to the taxpayers...
...9 March 7 to April 4, and it is now numbingly apparent that America is governed by an imbecile...
...Did you note his March 29 letter to Iran...
...After all...
...Kaarlo Toivo as he was about to begin a full-immersion baptism...
...and in Moline, Illinois, John Deere & Co summarily fired Miss Jodi Stutz when it was discovered that she in her innocent curiosity had used the company's new Xerox machine to photocopy her naked rump...
Vol. 13 • May 1980 • No. 5
