Production Lost

...And all written records shall be balanced...

...Thus add Deeds to the knowledge I have thee provided...

...574 Thus, having learned and balanced the sums, Hope no higher, nor raise expectations, Nor be dictated to by the scribblings of madmen who hear voices in the ether...

...a theory which, combined with The spirit of frugality and the law of self-reliance, with all men Working with entrepreneurial ardor, will succeed, with No guidelines, no make-work, No welfare, nor the irresistible drive To print money to quench the fiery demands of Congress...

...And now, Through all restraint broke loose he wings his way Directly towards the New World And the economists there placed, with purpose to essay If their theories by force he can destroy Or by some false guile pervert...

...THE AMERICAN SPFXTATOR JANUARY 1980 17 To test empirically our hypotheses...

...234 Behold me then...

...me for them, life for life, I offer...

...BOOK I For Man's first deficit, and the paper money 1* Of that forbidden mint, whose mortal operators Brought inflation into the world, and all our woe, With loss of stability, till one greater economist Restore us, and institute blissful monetarism, Pay, beleaguered taxpayer...

...Soon that fallible treatise, 1046 That exhilarated politicians bland and brought them to power, Made err, and in ensuing decades came Encumbering expenditures, incremented annually, Government-funded studies, welfare, no-fault insurance, And swaths of paper money printed...

...Read thereof...

...Thither let us bend all our thoughts, to aid 354 What creatures the Democrats there rule...

...your parameters and analytic tools now murky Shall perfectly be then opened and cleared...

...Books V and VI correspond with Books IX and XI in Milton's original...

...Andy Stark is a graduate student in government at Harvard...

...BOOK III Now had the almighty father, Alfred Marshall, from above, bent down his eye, 56 His own works and their works at once to view, Beholding about him all the sanctities of heaven, that blissful origin of the Phillips Curve, And thus to his only son, Milton Friedman, spake: "Seest thou that our adversary Keynes is all the rage, 80 Whom no bounds of austerity Circumscribes, no restraint of cash on hand, nor all the chains Of real wealth can hold, so bent he seems Upon pursuing his own rebellious ideas...

...Thus, the rash hands of these economists 780 THE AMERICAN SPECTATOR JANUARY 1980 l'> Forth reaching to the "General Theory," they picked it up and read...

...Say first what cause 27 Moved our economists, in that happy state, Where the Federal Reserve Bank issued at four percent, to fall off From this rate, and to transgress the dictates of common sense, To ignore restraint, and the advice of conservatives besides...

...Monetarism will stand against them, not afraid To insist that laziness ought not be recompensed...

...on me let the responsibility fall To straighten up the national accounts...

...Sage he stood, the trust of mightiest governments soon to be his, And to his minions spake: "Must we renounce and recant, and, changing style, be called 312 Politicians...

...and shall pervert, For economists will hearken to his glozing lies, And create the NRA, the TVA, the Humphrey-Hawkins Bill, Medicare, 'fine-tuning,' and make-work programs For decades to come...

...But from Chicago 485 We to you a comforter will send: Monetarism...

...BOOK IV So on Keynes fared...

...Where though depression and crash had come, yet 'twas merely A cyclical phenomenon, where prospects were Bright for business empires if only Common sense, stewardship, and restraint had prevailed...

...Be sure it will," replied Milton...

...BOOK V This happy state, because now rudely interrupted by depression, 384 Caused economists from Adam Smith's invisible hand their hands To withdraw, and like wood nymphs light, Gape, open, receptive, and temptable, for a new idea...

...The economists, Intent now wholly on the incredible monetary resurgence, naught else Regarded...

...Who first seduced them to issue with no regard to real growth...

...America felt the resultant tumult, and the politicians from their seats Passed new legislation, and, with profligate spending, incurred new debts, Till all wealth was lost...

...Thus Keynes' doctrines, and the stories written by the Left, 506 They die, and in their room are placed The incentive of lucre, ambition, truth, and tradition...

...Princely counsel in his face yet shone...

...Many advantageous acts may be passed 363 By sudden onslaught of the Supreme Court To o'ertake their creation (land, labor, and capital) for to repossess it All as our own, and create deficits To employ the puny habitants, and, if not drive, Seduce them to the Democratic Party...

...But Milton Friedman, In whom the fullness dwells of intellect sublime, 224 His dearest meditation thus to Marshall spake: "In debt and undone is man, with no wealth to bring...

...where the Central Bank Issued at four percent, whose low interest rates, With plant capacity overgrown, and no government interference, caused a boom...

...your models and forecasts seem so clear 706 Yet are but dim...

...his ideas to the border came 131 Of America, where scarcely a decade before in the twenties was Paradise: A land of high GNP, no foreclosures, And no rural-urban migration...

...Andy Stark PRODUCTION LOST The epic progression of economics in America: wherein the descendants of Adam (Smith) succumb to the temptations of John Maynard Keynes, eat of the fruit of his General Theory, and fall from economic bliss—which bliss is restored decades later with the advent of the Redeemer, Milton Friedman...

...Where stock prices soared, and, overhead easily acquired, Insuperable heights of loftiest dividends gained...

...I, for economists' sake, will leave Thy bosom, Chicago, and the writing of theoretical tomes which prove There is no free lunch I shall put off, to combat, ' 8 THE AMERICAN SPECTATOR JANUARY 1980 Through research and practice, this new rage...

...BOOK II But Keynes, above whom no higher sat, 300 (For, in his time, he held a multitude of elevated positions), Ensconced himself in an ivory tower...

...Thus, the adversary of Marshall and Ricardo, 629 Keynes, with his thoughts inflamed of hugest deficits And government spending programs, Puts on swift wings, and towards the gates of Hell— That land of unemployment, depression, oligopoly, and increasing liabilities, America— Speeds, to revulse the right-hand wing, but woo the left-hand then in power...

...There is a place, another country, the happy seat 345 Of some new race called Americans, about this time To be created like to us, though less In power and excellence, but favored more Of Him who rules above (God shed His grace on them...

...For so glossed the tempter Keynes o'er problems, that 549 Into the hearts and minds of the Treasury Department, And the economists at Harvard and Yale, His words made way: "Sacred, wise, and wisdom-giving treatise, 679 Mother of the new economics, my 'General Theory' is Within me clear, and with it one can discern The causes of unemployment, and the ways around it...

...O! Such was the fall from Paradise...

...By wondrous birth, renew the influence of Adam Smith, The head of all economists, such that, After this brief aberration of Keynesian theory, Good sense shall be restored, and the free market once again prevail: For an invisible hand, moving on the face of the earth, Shall prove wrong the upstart Keynes, and A finer strain of man's, 'laissez-faire,' which You will have implanted, shall once again take hold...

...And all the riches of the world wilt thou enjoy...

...BOOK VI So asked economists of the fallen seventies of the archeconomist Milton: 466 "Our inflation is infinite, our unemployment immense...

...such wealth till then it seemed In the economy had ne'er been tasted, whether true, Or (which was the case) fancied so, and expectations high and inflationary ensued...

...Him the almighty status quo of Marshall's followers 44 At first attempted to hurl headlong from the ethereal realm of academe, down To unpublished obscurity, there to sit, Tenureless, on government commissions, Disenabling him to theorize at all...

...then wilt thou be loath To leave this Paradise, but shalt possess A Paradise within thee, happier far.'' • 20 THE AMERICAN SPECTATOR JANUARY 1980...

...The rascal Keynes, he it was whose theory, Stirred up with a depression and FDR, restructured The economy of mankind, at which time his views Separated him from the classical school, with all his host Of rebel Cantabrigians, by whose aid he aspired To set himself in glory above his peers...

...Truly, as "Miltonic" an epic as Paradise Lost...

...I shall rise victorious and subdue 249 This expansionary printing of money, and The inglorious government welfare programs, Wherein three hundred and fifty thousand dollars have been spent On a Pentagon study of the 'frisbee.' And Marshall replied: 273 ' 'Thou, therefore, whom only canst redeem their bonds, 281 Go thyself amongst economists in America, Where interest to be paid on the national debt is fifty-seven thousand dollars per minute...

...For the popular vote Inclines to us, and gives us opportunity " Line-number of the parallel passage in Paradise Lost...

...How can we many goods produce, And have instability turn to stability...

...A land where stagflation had been unknown, Taxes low, and unemployment unheard of...

...Add frugality, restraint, and responsibility...

...And no more shall Congress send, To evangelize the nations, money to those not Baptized in the religion of Democracy, Nor with wondrous gifts them endow...

...Greed for tax dollars, and no restraint, No frugality, but spending past global satiation, caused them to forget That 'twould all have to be payed for one day...