The Continuing Crisis
The Continuing Crisis - September expired noisily, and as Jimmy's Campaign for National Survival enters its second month, the goody-two-shoes of Americar, politics begins to twitch and to turn to malice. The Sermon on...
...While working in the prison's farm Mr...
...Spotting an exceptional outdoor privy while lunching in cosmopolitan Ponder, Texas, the dowager of the Carter Era purchased it immediately, noting that it "looks just like the one that Jimmy used to use when he was a boy...
...Johnson on the grounds of racial prejudice...
...Jenr e t t e ' s actions were committed under' the influence of strong drink, a plea known as the Sigma Chi theory of criminal behavior...
...Now a vote for Reagan was not only a vote for racism but also a vote for war...
...This alarming canard be iterated and reiterated just as Iraq and noble Iran began lobbing artillery shells into each other's oil refineries...
...A Methodist divine, the Rev...
...How do county assessors become county assessors in the cussed, seamy Podunks of backwater America...
...RET 2 THE AMERICAN SPECTATOR NOVEMBER 1980...
...In a nuclear power referendum in Maine the antinuclear forces lost another squeaker...
...Senator Mark O. Hatfield, Republican from Oregon, has sent a letter urging his colleagues to attend an "adult education program" at the Institute for Poticy Studies, the noted mugwump think tank...
...Claude Amos who managed to die of snake bites suffered while worshipping at the Rockhouse Pentecostal Church in Bob Fork, Kentucky...
...Abbie Hoffman turned up in New York as an ecologist, his nose reshaped to look like an eggplant...
...Later Mr...
...A:s the campaign's fifth week began, it became increasingly apparent that all Jimmy has managed in his administration is to bring dirty-nccked, low-down politics to the center of American political life...
...Sergeant Johnson is the amazing B-52 crewman who startled fellow crewmembers when he ejected at 29,000 feet and parachuted intoa common corn field, because he feared he was alone in the plane...
...David Berkowitz, the convicted "Son uf Sam" murderer now serving a 315-year sentence in Attica prison, raised somewhat of a row in the literary world when, in the second of a delightful three-part series for the Buffalo Evening News, he judged a McGraw-Hill book about him "malicious, disgusting and ridiculous...
...Robinson protested his client's innocence by claiming that Mr...
...A smiling and relaxed Staff Sergeant Charles Johnson was checked into Little Rock Air Force Base Hospital on September 13...
...That might improve them tOO...
...Yet the scamp's vilifications and deceits availed him nought...
...It took the Air Force over twelve hours to recstablish contact with the gregarious airman, an experience that is sure to look bad on his record when the Air Force chooses its next round of astronauts...
...The decision, the first against an officer during the Army's recent sexual harrassment trials, will be contested by the Rev...
...Giles, then serving a one year term for assault, was attacked by.a vicious dairy cow and hospitalized for two months...
...John W. Jenrette, Democrat from South Carolina, boodling with an FBI undercover agent and acknowledging that "I've got larceny in my blood...
...In religious news, army chaplain James R. Johnson was fined $3000 for using sexually explicit language while apprising a female soldier of his sexual fantasies...
...Finally there was that debate that the populist pol sat out--our pundits might have shifted from one buttock to the other, puzzling over its effect on Jimmy's fortunes, but Jimmy understood, and ht~ took action...
...Early in the month the fabulous Environmental Protection Agency set in motion the processes whereby California will be denied $850 million for, among other conveniences, sewage-treatment plants because of the state's failure to conform with that exalted agency's auto-emissions diktats...
...The House ethics committee recommended that the Hon...
...Throughout the month the Wonderboy was repeatedly being snagged flagrante delicto in low deeds: vilifying Ronald Reagan as a racist, making false statements at a press conference, recklessly leaking sensitive national security secrets for political advantage...
...On the other hand, our elected representatives could spend their evenings throwing dirt at each other in Miss LaBelle vonPartridge's dirt therapy sessions held at her Dupont Circle salon...
...Yet for now it is being brought to Plains for refurbishm~:nt and the close scrutiny of Carter scholars...
...Robert Elliott has confected a toney religious ceremony for those couples wishing to embark on divorce, and in T.ittle Rock, Arkansas, "the Sheet People," that pious group that wears only sheets and addresses each other "Brother Christ" and "Sister Christ" depending on gender, is being again harrassed by local authorities owing to their treatment of their children, whom they call " ' a n g e l s . " Finally congratulations are in order for Mr...
...The 39th President of the United States is instructing the world...
...Life has been unfair...
...Why do such louts not proceed much fi]rther beyond Podunk than the United States House of Representatives or a desk in the Veterans Administration ? Again the example of the scamp in the White House provides the answers, to wit: They are without principles, they are without vision, they are without competence, and they are without ideas other than the cerebral impulses of a r a t t l e s n a k e , slithering towards a henhouse, or cornered...
...Jenrette's attorney, Kenneth Michael Robinson, explained that actually it was not larceny but alcohol that was in his client's blood...
...He auspicated yet another campaign of disparagement...
...A stunning use of political symbols, that...
...Robert Giles of Buffalo, has been awarded $52,000 for injuries suffered during his period of residence...
...This time a mere 59 percent of the voters opted for nuclear power...
...Finally, Mr...
...The ~Uashington Post whacked him in an astringent editorial felicitously titled "Running Mean," and on September 28 the New York Times/CBS News Poll showed that he had slipped five points behind Reagan...
...And one of Attica's former clients, Mr...
...There the wide-eyed Senators will be able to drink in the intellectual grappa of such learned mixologists as Gar Alperovitz, Eqbal Ahmad, Ron Dellums, Isabel Letelier, Frank Mankiewicz, Senior Judge David Bazelon, and the stupendous Ivanhoe Donaldson, sage of the local mayor's office...
...Miss Lillian Carter once again has displayed that extraordinary sense of history that is the hallmark of the Carter family and legend...
...Earl Wilson, the callipygian sage went on to assert: "Do what you want to do and t h a t ' s it . . . . If Richard Nixon had not been sexually repressed he wouldn't have had to bomb Vietnam or Cambodia...
...Michael J Myers, Democrat from Pennsylvania, be expelled from Congress for his bribery conviction in the Abscam scandal, and a second Abstain trial got under way as a federal jury watched an hour-long videotape showing the Hon...
...Miss Shirley MacLaine, America's Simone de Beauvoir, issued a bull on September 17, declaring that "Sexuality is the biggest problem today next to i n f l a t i o n . " Speaking through her interpreter, Mr...
...The Sermon on the Mount is set aside as the scamp in the White House grows long in ~the jowls and begins to scratch and to kick and to hiss...
...Then there was that series of scurrilous advertisements in black newspapers, suggesting that Republicans were ardent to :unhorse Jimmy because he had placed judicial robes on 37 gentlemen of color...
...Eventually the historic amenity will be jeff MacNelly shipped tu Washington, there to serve as an inspiring centerpiece for the national shrine that doubtless will be raised to commemorate the Carter years...
Vol. 13 • November 1980 • No. 11
