Current Wisdom

...truly mattered...

...June 17, 1979) The Nation The widely accoladed Miss Gloria Emerson retails a harrowing experience suffered while on a cultural binge: I went to a screening of The Deer Hunter last year with Seymour Hersh (probably the best reporter in the United States), who broke the full story of the My Lai massacre in 1969, and James Sterba, also of The New York Times, who had been one of the brightest young reporters in Vietnam writing about American troops...

...The plaintiff had arranged for an elaborate funeral for the dog including a head stone, an epitaph, and attendance by plaintiffs two sisters and a friend...

...Your sphincter loses its control and you break wind in a most con vincing manner causing three (3) water tumblers to shatter and a secretary to pass out...

...The plaintiff alleged that the defendant wrongfully disposed of her dog, failed to turn over the remains of the dog to the plaintiff for the funeral...

...C) Challenge anyone in the room to do better...

...Jeanette Heitger, 729 Florence Ave., who is a technical writer in the data processing department at the City County Building in Fort Wayne...

...She had an elaborate funeral scheduled and planned-to-visit the grave in the years to come...

...Corso did suffer shock, mental anguish and despondency due to the wrongful destruction and loss of the dog's body...

...The Civil Court of the City of New York, County of Queens, Seymour Friedman, J., held that owner could recover damages beyond market value of dog for mental distress and anguish...

...Even in sunny Lajolla, California, the political struggle must continue: Marxist aesthetics has sharply rejected the idea of the Beautiful, the central category of "bourgeois" aesthetics...

...The author is Ms...

...C) Take a leak in his ' 'out'' basket...

...Accordingly, the court finds the sum of $700...

...The presentation was inspired by a poem of the same name written especially for the state fund-raising dinner...

...Civil Court of the City of New York, Queens County...

...Presi dent, the test is absurd, insulting, and an abuse of Government responsibility Mr...

...B) Point out their chief executive and accuse him of the offense...

...The plaintiff and the defendant agreed, that the dog's body would be turned over to Bide-A-Wee, an organization that would arrange a funeral for the dog...

...The success of this presentation will mean increasing your sales to his company by 200...

...To say it is a piece of personal property and no more is a repudiation of our humaneness...

...The A esthetic Dimension: Towards a Critique of Marxist Aesthetics Herbert Marcuse [Beacon Press, 1978] The Nation An alarming notification to all the Nation's ever-vigilant subscribers: Transnational tobacco companies are looking to a vast new market of cigarette smokers in the Third World to compensate for the leveling off of their other, established markets...

...The tight-faced lady passenger in the bronze Cadillac bearing Maryland House of Delegates plates, kids in the back seat, doing at least 85 mph, gave me that "Ugh...

...Pantheon has long been eminent in this select company The three items here considered are adult comic books, a promising new venture for Pantheon...

...May 12, 1979] The Progressive Mr...

...This is a comparatively minor blemish...

...One old codger from Indiana thought I was warning him of some danger (I was...

...On or about January 28, 1978, the plaintiff brought her 15 year old poodle into the defendant's premises for treatment...

...In this new world, a steadily growing class of the aged ill, maintained by crisis intervention medicine but ruined by a lifetime of eating plastic food loaded with poisonous preservatives and mere cosmetics, is supported by a steadily dwindling class of middle-aged and youthful productive workers, likewise poisoning themselves with every mouthful of plastic food they take in...

...In the middle of your proposal the customer leans over to look at your report and spits in your coffee...

...JEFF SCHALLES Arlington [June 6, 1979} Indiana Republican State Committee From an Indiana Republican State Committee press release comes auspicious evidence of the growing political and moral sophistication of the Hoosier State's Grand Old Party: SPECIAL PROGRAM, POEM PLANNED FOR KISSINGER DINNER INDIANAPOLIS, June 11, 1979-A special presentation entitled "The People's Choice" will start off the evening at the Indiana Republican State Dinner on June 20...

...After examining the dog, the defendant recommended euthanasia and shortly thereafter the dog was put to death...

...Frank Getlein, a Daniel Bell for the morons: Doctors get angry at the idea that a woman-any patient, really, but especially a woman-should be told in understandable detail just what it is the doc is doing down there in her private parts, what the risks, what the alleged benefits, what the procedure...

...The situations...

...it has no brain capable of displaying emotion which in turn causes a human response...

...C) Drop your napkin on the floor and when you bend over to pick it up, blow your nose on your sock...

...They will represent the four generations to which the poem refers...

...June1979] The New Republic In the aftermath of a rampage that left some 140 people injured and $1 million in damages, the celebrated Mr...

...Rius, the nom de plume of Eduardo del Rio, the well-known Mexican editorial caricaturist, has pulled off the implausible trick of explaining the core of Marxist thought intelligibly and entertainingly...

...We are going, going, going-and not with a bang, but a belch...

...to be reasonable compensation for the loss suffered by the plaintiff...

...While the poem is being read, an elderly couple, a middle-aged couple, a young couple and several, small children wilt walk across a tiny, raised bridge that will be constructed for the dinner...

...A casket was delivered to the funeral which, upon opening the casket, instead of the dog's body, the plaintiff found the body of a dead cat...

...All the more honor accordingly to the few publishers who manage to survive according to older and more respectable criteria of taste, expression and intellect...

...The specific incident which prompted this statement is just a small reminder of the power the regulatory agencies have over individual lives in this country...

...A pet is not an inanimate thing that just receives affection it also returns it...

...Most of the men in the country...

...For most men, the urge to show affection to our sons is second, if that, only to the sexual urge...

...At least not those of us over 50...

...Sidney Lens, the venerated peace activist, explains why Chicago is his kind of town: For more than half a century, with short interludes of near-democracy, Chicago has been the model for urban totalitarianism...

...3) You are making a sales presentation to a group of corporate executives in the plushest office you've ever seen...

...I think Hersh knew right then what was ahead, that Cimino had made a film in which all the atrocities were committed by the other side, never by us, and so the man who knew so much and was so deeply affected by My Lai could not quite stomach it and stalked out...

...June 16, 1979} The New York Times The illustrious Times of New York makes bold to publish on its op-ed page a tremendous message of Truth from the pen of Mr...

...March 22, 1979...

...Kissinger's kind of cold war, subtle and negotiable and played by rules that have nothing to do with outrage, makes them as nervous and insecure as a room full of Wall Street Liberals, double-talking their oil panic into a statesmanlike concern for Palestinians...

...I saw them all and honked at every one, and now, this weekend, there is to be no gas for anyone, rich or poor, loving-of-the-earth or insanely, sickeningly ignorant of the status of our world...

...June 1979] The Congressional Record Senator Malcolm Wallop of the great state of Wyoming admonishes his distinguished colleagues over one of the many lofty endeavors of our modern federal government: Mr...

...I laughed at the end when, back home, De Niro and others sang "God Bless America...

...Paul Robinson makes bold to solemnize: The riot marks a significant moment in the evolution of political awareness among homosexuals There is, then, cause for celebration in this collective emergence of gays from the political closet...

...sneer...

...415 New York Supplement, 2nd Series182...

...B) Ask to have him checked for any communicable diseases...

...Like Pat Moynihan, they are the new old boys,of the American establishment, Horatio Algers of the Academy, conquering a never-never world of tony publishers and serious magazines and think tanks and tenure lines...

...To me it has always been embarrassing, There are many like me...

...Please, someone, anyone, tell me: What in God's name is wrong with you people...

...Losing the right to memorialize a pet rock, or a pet tree or losing a family picture album is not actionable...

...A dirty hippy...

...4] This decision is not to be construed to include an award for the loss of a family heirloom which would also cause great mental anguish...

...They are the kind of people, anyway, "whose good opinion...

...June 6,1979) The Nation In the learned book review section of the Nation Professor Robert Lekach-man serves up a sonorous testimonial to those rare and estimable publishing houses where elevated standards still obtain: The top publishing dollar notoriously flows to the proprietors and promoters of guides to sexual ecstasy, spiritual exaltation, self-renewal by diet or running or psychological exercise or all three, and the scandalous secrets of famous figures...

...I, at least, found it enormously moving...

...The facts in this case are not in dispute...

...My stomach is tightening up...

...June 9, 1979] The Great Books Series From out of the mothballs emerges Dr...

...Onward to a Republic of perfect justice: Kay CORSO, Plaintiff, v. CRAWFORD DOG AND CAT HOSPITAL, INC., Defendant...

...This time, Miss Jane Kramer is reviewing the latest book of the demonic Daniel Patrick Moynihan, frightening predecessor of the sage Andy: Moynihan prefers his intellectuals a lot more earnest and a lot less subtle than Henry Kissinger...

...I envy the homes where it has meaning...

...WALLOP...

...What you should do next is: (A) Offer to come back next week when the smell has gone away...

...Oh, how we envy the Jewish, Italian and Russian heritages of affection man for man, father for son this time of year...

...Certainly he shines more easily in a crowd of Gemutlich, moralistic men like Norman Podhoretz and Irving Kristol and Daniel Bell than he ever did in Kissinger's company...

...Herbert Marcuse, full of Glad Tidings for Marxists, philistines, and slobs in general...

...Some people waved friendlily as they zoomed by, others made hostile gestures...

...But holding us back is a tradition and heritage stronger than the hug of a grizzly...

...But a dog -that is something else...

...About the contributions the old, the middle-aged, the young and children can make to society, the poem was written by a Fort Wayne resident...

...it seems irresponsible, snobbish to speak of the Beautiful...

...May 3, 1979] The Progressive Sociological commentary from Dr...

...YOU: (A) Tell him you prefer your coffee black...

...President, I ask unanimous consent that the test be printed in the Record, as if read, because I frankly tell you, I am embarrassed to read it in front of an audience...

...Perhaps because its authors have pursued the Rius model too closely, the jokes seem forced, as though inserted according to formula...

...B) Get everyone drunk and organize a nose picking contest with a prize to the one who makes his nose bleed first...

...DECISION SEYMOUR FRIEDMAN, Judge...

...and nearly ran me off the road trying to get out of the fast lane at 75 mph...

...The plaintiff sustained no special damages...

...This I cannot accept...

...June 23, 1979] The New York Review of Books Another schizophrenic interlude on the pages of the distinguished New York Review of Books...

...The plaintiff described during the non-jury trial, her mental distress and anguish, in detail, and indicated that she still feels distress and anguish...

...June 1979] Gringo Justice What follows is an inspirational moment in the history of American jurisprudence...

...Robert J. Christian, salesman, father of three children, and paradigmatic 1970s post-Vietnam bellyacher: It's Father's Day again...

...It seems difficult indeed to associate this concept with revolutionary art...

...4) You are at a business lunch when you are suddenly overcome with an un controllable desire to pick your nose...

...There being no objection, the test was ordered to be printed in the Record, as follows: SITUATION ADAPTABILITY EVALUATION FOR MANAGEMENT PERSONNEL This test has been designed to evaluate reactions of management personnel to various situations...

...President, today I bring before the Senate a problem of great concern...

...She was deprived of this right...

...Before Henry Kissinger speaks at the dinner in the Indiana Convention Center, the poem will be read to the approximately 4,000 Republicans who are ex-peered to attend...

...I wish I had followed...

...Instead of a population explosion, we, thanks to perfected birth control of apparently endless variety, are on the edge of a population implosion, with the number of producers inevitably destined to shrink while the number of consumers grows...

...Two of the three are unqualified successes...

...I'm tensing up...

...It does not respond to human stimulation...

...Recently, I received a copy of a test en titled, "The Situation Adaptability Eval uations for Management Personnel/' This test was given to participants in an MSHA training course held on April 16-18, 1979, in Albany, Oreg...

...De Niro then exterminates the soldier...

...A week ago I traveled down 170 from Pennsylvania and something inside of me finally snapped: I began laying on my bug's squeaky horn every time they came speeding past me, big car or little...

...1) You have prepared a proposal for the regional director of purchasing for your largest customer...

...Contrary to the belief of many women, men are not letting their emotional barriers down...

...An heirloom while it might be the source of good feelings is merely an inanimate object and is not capable of returning love and affection...

...CURRENT WISDOM The Washington Post From the letters column of the fabled Washington Post comes the deep-felt protest of a free and enlightened American pushed to the breaking point by his moral and intellectual inferiors: My VW and I have been putt-putting along at 55 mph since 1974, and I have never begrudged Mother Earth the 10 or 20 minutes of added trip time incurred while burning up her wonderful petroleum...

...Hersh, whose reflexes and instincts are often faster and more acute than many people's, was quiet until the scene in a Vietnamese village which showed an enemy soldier, alone, throwing a grenade into a bunker filled with terrified women and children...

...Owner of pet poodle who had arranged elaborate funeral for dog and who was disappointed when upon opening casket she found remains of dead cat brought action against funeral arranger seeking damages for mental anguish...

...Re membering this is definitely a NO NO, you: (A) Pretend to wave to someone across the room and with one fluid motion, bury your forefinger in your nostril right up to the 4th joint...

...Sterba stayed too and was as disgusted as anyone by the film...

...The hot enchillada casserole and egg salad sand wich you had for lunch react, creating a severe pressure...

...are based on actual case studies from a well known educational institution and represent a cross section of test data correlated to evaluate both reaction time to difficult situations as well as the soundness of each decision selected...

...In ruling that a pet such as a dog is hot just a thing I believe the plaintiff is entitled to damages beyond the market value of the dog...

...Lenin for Beginners is much less satisfactory...

...I find that plaintiff Ms...