Ecological Homicide
Paul Seabury ECOLOGICAL HOMICIDE The Environment's impact statement. Limit the use of electric appliances as much as possible during peak time, between five and seven in the evening. During these...
...Each week, heavily laden, I led forced marches of neighbors to the distant recycling center...
...Ecology observed that I was a burden on the Environment nonetheless...
...For months I had packed my organic lunches in a metal lunch box instead of brown bags...
...I asked Ecology, what more...
...I jog to the welfare office to pick up my checks...
...Does "population explosion" mean somebody else...
...Did I not consider wearing my greatcoat, muffler, and earmuffs indoors to conserve natural gas...
...The Environment, he said, now believed there was one too many of me.one too many of me...
...I swat flies with flyswatters...
...My cross-country jogging done in lieu of my abandoned driving now endangered plants...
...I had my vasectomy last month...
...I was a backslider...
...I had given up my job at the nearby GM assembly plant and had told the manager why...
...When I jogged over to see him in my organic jumpsuit, I found he had withdrawn into his Tabernacle, so I had a word instead with his deputy, Ecology...
...My detergents had turned the Pacific into a swamp...
...Not one of the interconnections in the great web of the Environment...
...The Environment knew I was not returning my used plastic bags to the bakery and was thus still depleting his fossil fuels...
...Where had I gone wrong...
...I have renounced pesticides...
...I was mistakenly using paper cups and plates to conserve dishwater when I knew full well that trees came first...
...The Environment, he said, had a question by way of answering my questions...
...Last week I had discarded shelves of canned pet food, when told they might contain remains of wild mustangs, porpoises, whales, or whooping cranes...
...Not one of the facets of the delicate system of systems...
...My extensive correspondence with lawmakers on the subject of forest conservation I willfully mailed in envelopes instead of folding, sealing, and addressing the recycled sheets as instructed...
...Ecology smiled and disappeared into the Tabernacle...
...In my small way I had revised my living activities so as to reclaim the planet for the Environment...
...Ecology looked at me directly as he spoke...
...my deodorant had slashed a hole in the ozone layer...
...Did I not know that all forms of pollution and' overuse now were traced to my very existence...
...I was a major site of overconsumption, waste, and pollution...
...Now, I used only biodegradable dental floss and Paul Seabury is professor of political science at the University of California, Berkeley...
...I grind my fleas between my fingernails...
...I use ground hot pepper spray and tweezers to remove hornworms from my tomatoes...
...No longer did I use my electric toothbrush during peak-load hours, thus to discourage construction of nuclear facilities...
...When he finally came out he was not smiling...
...What more can I do to show my fealty...
...Through frequent letters, I was forcing my congressman to place love over lobbies, and my new buying habits were convincing industry that a dead planet was bad for business...
...I had not removed the metal rings and foil from my non-returnable bottles before recycling...
...The Environment, Ecology said, was burdened by my several sins and iniquities...
...I had hot sandblasted my house to rid it of leaded paint which little children would pick off and chew, retarding their little minds...
...I asked...
...What had I done now, I asked, once more to merit his wrath...
...I have cancelled my subscriptions to all slick magazines...
...Ecology told me the Environment was vexed with me again...
...How many times had I heard that before...
...Somewhere else...
...I would start my night-soil compost heap the very next Monday...
...Ecology Begins at Home Yesterday I learned that the Environment wanted to have a word with me...
...I blow my nose in scraps of old cloth...
...What, pray, I asked Ecology, am I not, too, a link in the Chain of Being...
...The Environment, he replied, was having second thoughts about me...
...flushed my brick-filled toilet but twice a day...
...I no longer shower...
...hat more does the Environment want of me...
...For that matter, when did I plan to stop eating plants altogether...
...I reject picture-perfect but environmentally dangerous fruits in favor of wizened but safe organic crops...
...During these hours an overload is put on our present electrical power plants and encourages the building of new plants for our environment to contend with...
...I no longer used tinted toilet paper...
Vol. 12 • June 1979 • No. 6
