The Continuing Crisis
THE CONTINUING CRISIS . Mid-August to mid-September. Summer deliquesces into fall, and the legend of the Carter administration waxes in grandeur. Schoolchildren will someday listen agape to tales...
...Timothy Leary acknowledged that "living under our bedroom is like living under Los Angeles International Airport...
...Andy's artistry with the Third World was splendidly displayed between September 3 and September 8, as Mr...
...Fidel Castro, beloved leader of all Cuba, hosted the sixth meeting of nonaligned powers...
...This decision she freely made on an airport runway in New York after counseling for 72 hours with a dozen or so avuncular KGB agents flown in from Moscow especially for her...
...In New York, the chief of psychiatry of the College of Medicine and Dentistry at New Jersey Medical School has confirmed that survivors of the Jonestown massacre "have found [Americans] frivolous, selfish, and uncaring for the rest of mankind...
...To have something like this appear when they are guests here, doing their work, is not happy," a dejected Miss Libman explained, notwithstanding the very good news that Mr...
...So apparent was this new warmth Andy has earned for the United States that, come the seventh nonaligned summit, one can easily see Jimmy applying for U.S...
...A grim catalogue that, and-assuming those odoriferous body odors can be dealt with-it is only a matter of time before Senator Kennedy brings the R.L...
...Certainly the studious maturity shown by Jimmy when Soviet troops were found in Cuba betrayed no evidence that the present administration has any superpower hang-ups whatsoever...
...Ussery family to Washington to testify to the barbarism of American health care...
...Citing Soviet laws proscribing pornography and propaganda, Mr...
...And on August 21 Connecticut police arrested an agent of Mr...
...Ralph Nader's Connecticut Citizens Action Group on charges of having stolen a multitude of lawn statues depicting Negro jockey boys...
...In Long Beach, California, a 45-year-old pharmacist escaped certain death when an assailant, peering down the muzzle of his malfunctioning .38-caliber revolver, inadvertently blasted crucial portions of his brain through the back of his head...
...Smith's body...
...Leary vomiting...
...In an act that Soviet officials themselves described as "the highest affirmation of freedom of speech," the comrades banned 44 books from the hilarious Moscow International Book Fair...
...According to in-depth findings by a Guardian reporter, the incidence of urine in English swimming pools has become rampant, far surpassing conditions in America or Germany...
...There is more laughter and more enthusiasm coming from our bedroom than any in history...
...Mark Charles Fagan was fined $200 for handing a hot coin to an idiot monkey, and in Dallas, Texas, a lawyer intent on "making people's law" is seeking damages from a landlord whose eviction notice allegedly brought catastrophe to the R.L...
...In Milwaukee, Mr...
...Otherwise he contained his sermonics to admonitions against "expansionist" South Africa, imperialism, the Jews, and the fascists-who apparently are everywhere on the march...
...Schoolchildren will someday listen agape to tales about the time our President packed the presidential toothbrush and embarked on an eight-day cruise down the Mississippi on the luxurious Delta Queen...
...RET...
...Godunov's wife would not be a party to the unhappy contretemps...
...Nonetheless, the cops were called and the amorous Learys were again booked on drug charges...
...And in Chicago, doctors removed a benign, eight-pound, two-ounce tumor from the abdomen of a Russian immigrant, who had been told by her Soviet physicians that her problem was "bad blood...
...Sherman A. Thomas, was fined $500 for bastinadoing a garrulous Canadian goose caught trespassing by Dr...
...Boris A. Stukalin, chairperson of the State Publishing Committee (an entity somewhat equivalent to our National Endowment for the Humanities), jugged Animal Farm by George Orwell, My Country and the World by Andrei Sakharov, A Cartoon History of U.S...
...The kids just panicked when they saw Mr...
...To the "great regret" of Miss Lillian Libman, a freedom-loving American managing the Bolshoi Ballet's American tour, Russian ballet star Mr...
...Foreign Policy, 1776-1976 by the editors of the Foreign Policy Association, five editions of The Best Editorial Cartoons of the Year, and other acts of salacity...
...In their stead this patriot would leave a note promising to "wipe clean the face of the earth and remove all forms of bigotry...
...William Latimore became sick as the bus passed through suburban Justice...
...This astounding revelation was made, it seems, to reassure neighbors who had become alarmed early on the morning of August 29 by a pothering of violent howls and the sound of Mrs...
...While alone in a canoe, he was attacked by what every canoeist dreads, an amphibious rabbit whose deadly incisors would have slashed right through his jeans were it not for the fact that our President is a graduate of the Naval Academy and therefore trained to thwart every sort of nautical calamity...
...Ambassador for over two and a half years...
...An elderly Washington physician, Dr...
...Whether the Soviet quacks actually had bled her is unclear, but the Carter administration must have been relieved when it became certain that the Soviets did not want the enormous tumor, the largest in Soviet medical history, returned...
...As fellow passengers struggled for sleep and shouted for the captain, our President took matutinal jogs around the deck, thwacking out two miles in the decidedly dubious time of 13 minutes...
...My wife and I were making loud love," the erstwhile Harvard prof insisted...
...And about the time that Mr...
...The drama began when corps director Mr...
...Moreover, British women are leakier than British men...
...The cultural life of our nation's Second City was temporarily cast into doubt when on August 26 Chicago's Ebony Guard Drum and Bugle Corps, returning by bus from a down-state concert, suffered a "hysterical reaction...
...David Kennedy, the 24-year-old nephew of Senator Edward Kennedy, was accosted in a notorious Harlem drug hangout, it was reported that the Kennedy family now favored the senator's presidential ambitions...
...There the anti-American tirades were so mellow and good-humored that the good Fidel drifted off to sleep on numerous occasions, rousing himself solely to remind the assembled comrades, kings, and generalissimos of the Gringo colossus' sad complicity in the impoverishment of their lands, lands that were once so wholesome and prosperous...
...In sum, there remains even in the 1970s idealistic youth from which Senator Kennedy can build a crusade...
...Ussery family...
...What is more, he suavely ingratiated the United States with all the enlightened governments of the Third World by keeping Andy Young as our U.N...
...Godunov returned to P.ussia...
...According to the lawyer, whom history will remember as Mr...
...Smith is suing the venerable firm for failing "to maintain the integrity" of the late Mr...
...Thomas on the 17th green of the Congressional Country Club...
...Latimore get sick," explained a Latimore aide...
...In the resulting stampede, 26 young artists were hospitalized, many suffering from nausea, headaches, and depression...
...Herbert Green, Jr., since its eviction the Ussery family has suffered "colds, upset stomach, diarrhea, dysentery, loss of hair, sweating palms, the need to void, the inability to void, nightmares, insomnia, dandruff, bad breath, dirty fingernails, and odoriferous body odors-especially of the feet...
...America continues to be victimized by judicial harum-scarum...
...Finally, in Norristown, Pennsylvania, the Chelton Hills Cemetery, Crematory, and Mausoleum is making heavy weather of it, for Mrs...
...membership...
...In Beverly Hills, California, Dr...
...Wesley Smith found 29 unfamiliar teeth while sifting through the cremated remains of her husband...
...Alexander Godunov sought asylum in New York...
...In England, tens of thousands of Her Majesty's subjects lost their taste for the swimming pool when the Manchester Guardian reported that English bathers void in their pools "on a vast scale...
...Subsequently, David Kennedy was hospitalized for treatment of a drug-related condition, and Senator Kennedy edged ever closer toward declaring his candidacy...
Vol. 12 • October 1979 • No. 10
