Special Editorial

...No child escapes our public school system without hearing it at least once...

...Even with his death, the Eatherly legend continuesto grow and to abet our more current liberal hysterias...

...From France, Jean-Francois Revel urges all members of the party of liberty to a more prudent and bracing course: Boycott the Moscow travesty...

...For information on the modern publicist's tools see our classified page...

...In Boise, Idaho, a devoted jogger died of a heart attack apparently while burglarizing the home of a Boise coin collector...

...So deeply rooted is it in our folklore that when the New York Times reported Eatherly's funeral on July 7 our nation's newspaper of record left the legend reverently intact: "Claude Robert Eatherly, who as a young Army Air Corps pilot, picked a hole through the clouds over Japan on the morning of August 6,1945 and radioed the B-29 to drop its atomic bomb on Hiroshima, died of cancer last Saturday in Houston....Mr...

...all he did was fly a navigation plane over the city and from thirty thousand feet report weather conditions...

...During the Hiroshima bombing he never even saw a mushroom cloud...

...He said his brain was on fire...

...The Olympic Games with all the highflown ideals that supposedly abut them are being used as an occasion for stomping on freedom's stirrings in the USSR...

...David K. Wilson, a 46-year-old bureaucrat from Health, Education and Welfare, keeled over while taking part in a three-mile run whose purpose was somehow to encourage "stepped-up enforcement of a law against sex discrimination...

...Eatherly, an unshakeable hypochondriac, had plagued Veterans' Administration hospitals for 30 years with his imagined afflictions...

...RET SPECIAL EDITORIAL: The Soviets' brazen repression of political expression and their concomitant breach of the 1975 Helsinki human rights accords remind us again of their unusually mendacious and brutal nature...

...A 15-yearold Norfolk, Virginia, student, improving his mind in that community's "homeward bound" program, bit off one-third of his teacher's ear...

...New York City's Mayor Edward Koch proclaimed the week of June 18 "Gay Pride Week," even as Mr...

...Reportedly, a tall, conservatively-dressed man, wearing a moderate afro, has on nearly a dozen occasions entered branch banks, engaged a clerk in harmless conversation, and abruptly and violently picked his nose, wiping it on the startled clerk before absconding—usually on foot...

...Trials similar in absurdity and cruelty to that of Yuri Orlov are being rushed forward in the Ukraine, Georgia, Armenia, and Lithuania...

...As this magazine goes to press, it is dramatically apparent that Soviet repression is intensifying...

...When found dead on his victim's lawn, the foiled thief was still wearing his jogging shoes...

...According to the Associated Press, Professor Fay had asked students to undress in his presence whereupon he slapped them and squeezed the privates of the young men...

...Eatherly was uniquely undecorated...

...John P. Mellon, president of Western State College, assured uneasy parents that "there's no suggestion of sexual overtones or perversion," though Professor Fay will not be allowed to teach summer school this year...

...In fact it was subsequently divulged that Eatherly went through the entire war without having ever fired a hostile shot...

...RET 2 The American Spectator August/September 1978...

...The barbarous demonstration occurred on HEW's driveway, and for nearly half an hour Wilson lay there in the shadow of the largest national health bureaucracy in the world before an ambulance was finally summoned to take him to the hospital where he was pronounced dead...

...Eatherly's brother James, of Midland, Texas, told reporters: 'I can remember his waking up night after night...

...All the original members of the Moscow Helsinki group except Elena Bonner, Andrei Sakharov's wife, have been arrested or exiled...

...According to the Times story, one of the dead fraud's brothers "recalled that Mr...

...He never won the Distinguished Flying Cross as claimed, never commanded the Hiroshima bombing mission, and never harmed the hair of a Japanese citizen...

...THE CONTINUING CRISIS • As a longtime admirer of man's ability to believe any preposterosity that soothes him, I take especial pleasure in recording the July 1 death of Major Claude Robert Eatherly, United States Army Air Corps, discharged...

...All over the world they feted him with awards like the 1962 Hiroshima Award "for outstanding contributions to world peace...

...The liberal brethren snapped up his pregnant tale and transformed it into a frightening parable, supposedly proving the cogency of one or another of their hysterical and mysterious fears...

...No tests ever performed on his extensively-tested carcass ever showed any evidence of "long-term radiation damage...

...Muhammad Ali was ardently planting moist kisses on the cheeks of a serene and willing President Leonid Brezhnev, Supreme Commander-in-Chief, Marshal of the Soviet Union, and Chairman of the USSR Defense Council...

...If he was responsible for the incineration of that fated city, so was every mechanic who ever rubbed grease into the real bomber's landing gear...

...Carter's response is to grandstand, disarmed and abusive...

...Eatherly's fame was a constant threat to the counterfeit war stories he had dreamt up, and he was always having to scale them down much as our Jimmy has perforce quietly discarded so many of his own autobiographical extravagances: his close friendship with Admiral Hyman Rickover, his years as an atomic scientist...

...Walter Judge a divorce because of her husband's whistling, which he had kept up for thirty-eight years...

...Yet he soon fell in with the hoax, and in time became a creditable pontificator—bear in mind that he never had the educational benefits of a George McGovern or a Dick Cavett...

...Eatherly had flown a plane through a mushroom cloud during nuclear tests on Bikini atoll and said that he thought the flier had suffered long-term radiation damage...

...so were Adam and Eve...

...Abott Fay, 51, a professor of Oriental philosophy at Western State College at Gunnison, Colorado, was granted a leave of absence without pay when newspaper reporters expressed interest in the "Oriental discipline program" that has been a part of his course since 1971...

...All this notwithstanding, the liberals strenuously perpetrated the Eatherly legend until it is now venerated by every schoolmarm...

...And in London, Deputy Judge Philip Cox has granted Mrs...

...I urge all readers to aid us in popularizing the slogan and the principle: "Boycott Moscow in 1980...

...And in Washington, D.C., Mr...

...The KGB obviously plans to render Russia dissident-free by the 1980 Moscow Olympics...

...His Excellency Andrew Young, our illustrious UN Ambassador, has declared that Egyptian President Anwar elSadat is "the most popular man in the United States, bar none, including President Carter, unfortunately...

...And Supreme Court Justice Lewis F. Powell, who wrote the dizzy opinion in the Bakke decision, was saved from being acclaimed the season's judicial Malvolio when Municipal Judge Mario Gonzales of Los Angeles stepped forward and cited the 14th Amendment to the United States Constitution in his ruling that dogs need not be licensed since canaries, turtles, pigs, and chipmunks are not...

...It is important that all Americans truly concerned about liberty consider this eminently reasonable campaign immediately so that the Politburo has something to think about while its thugs round up the last of the brave Soviet dissidents...

...In Jennings, Louisiana, a policeman's claim that he was just following orders when he shot a ferocious and unruly dog reminded Judge Walter C. Peters of the "My Lai massacre," and the historically-minded judge duly jugged the aforementioned brute for cruelty to animals...

...This is a dangerous course...

...They were not divorced until 1957...

...Eatherly was that larcenous dissipater who claimed that, as a highly decorated World War II pilot, he had bombed Hiroshima, only to be hounded by his conscience into a postwar life of self-destructive petty crime and shiftlessness...

...It is an outrage even more outlandish than Hitler's 1936 farce...

...Smokers, alcoholics, and jovial junk-food enthusiasts rocked with merriment when it was reported that the administrator of the Miami Heart Institute suffered a coronary while jogging...

...Moreover, he had competed furiously, if unsuccessfully, for the honor of dropping atomic bombs at the first Bikini tests...

...He said he could feel those people burning.' " When questioned by writer William Bradford Huie, Eatherly's estranged wife said she had never heard such nocturnal cries, nor had she ever heard the hero express any anxiety or regret over Hiroshima...

...The Bonnie Baking Company has triumphed in its four-year struggle with the state of Michigan, which had proscribed the company's white bread for being one inch longer than state officials deemed either safe or prudent...

...Eatherly, heretofore a man of only the most modest cons, was stunned by his good fortune...

...Spectacular evidence of the unwholesomeness of this unsightly fad continued to accumulate from all parts...

...Authorities in Gary, Indiana, apparently remain helpless against a spreading reign of atrocities that has sharply affected banking practices in this booming Great Lakes metropolis...