The Continuing Crisis
THE CONTINUING CRISIS - September was a very sad month for those merry coves who have experienced such sweet and carbonated hilaritas during the Presidency of Jimmy Carter and his Dogpatch Mafia....
...The trend seems clear: The crime rate among past and present U.S...
...An electric washing machine went berserk in the laundry room of a Gary, Indiana, housewife, murdering the lady's dog and causing extensive damage to a nearby dryer...
...Sadat have through halting and mysterious intermediary means pursued their own self-interest toward a separate bilateral peace...
...On September 27 the committee recommended that the House censure the Rt...
...As consumer counsel for the state of Connecticut, Mr...
...Perhaps a telephone directory with only a middle—is that not what Thomas Jefferson really had in mind...
...Fiala Jackson, the dog, a trained watchdog, had apparently recognized the washing machine as an intruder, and in trying to scare it off was cornered and battered to death...
...The same House committee began investigations into the comparative blatancy of the Rt...
...Almost instantly Mr...
...Zitser is one of the first Americans to dare to speak out against institutionalized alphabetism, the flagitious system whereby those whose names start with letters to the fore of the alphabet prosper while those with Ilanics toward the aft languish...
...In Colorado Springs, Colorado, the once promising military career of Staff Sgt...
...Douglas is a modern homosexual...
...Yet the news caused antivivisectionists to rejoice, and vegetarians all over the western hemisphere will be using the chicken's inspiring story in their promotional brochures...
...congressmen has surpassed that of unemployed male teenagers, heretofore the most crime-prone of cur citizenry...
...Kissinger can be seen all over the Camp David agreements...
...Better that the names appear randomly, and better still that the telephone directories of Connecticut publish yellow pages with neither beginnings nor ends...
...Happy Days...
...Begin and Mr...
...That chaplain to Queen Elizabeth II who was jugged at the Wimbledon tennis match for lifting the skirt of a 14-year-old girl comforted local magistrates on September 12 when he explained that he was only doing "finger exercises...
...Barry S. Zitser to pull down one more stone in the ghastly edifice of discrimination, which we Americans have adored all these years even as the dispossessed of the land groan and pray that their burden be lifted...
...As reported in the Los Angeles Herald Examiner, Commandant Kuhn has ordered "tight control" over all pupils, particularly during lunch time and recess when free association amongst the children could undermine all of Dearborn Elementary's matutinal efforts at inculcating the goose step...
...Charles H. Wilson for lack of caution...
...Diggs allegedly shook down his own staff members for kickbacks amounting to more than 100 three-piece suits, three Cadillacs, and 300 dinners at Le Bagatelle...
...Begin and Mr...
...The Camp David accords represent a de facto repudiation of him and an endorsement of Mr...
...Daniel Flood was indicted by another hard-pressed federal grand jury on three counts of honeyfogling...
...In this case we speak of those forgotten souls whose names begin with X and Y and Z. Mr...
...The month saw other promising develop...
...Charles C. Diggs' trial began on September 26...
...Sadat was on a plane to Tel Aviv, and during subsequent months Mr...
...According to the Commandant—who himself was not terribly forthcoming when we inquired as to the number of blacks, browns, and yellows with whom he plays— "We're trying to avoid resegregation on the playground...
...Actually the chelonian shadow of Dr...
...There may soon be peace between Egyptians and Israelis, and the Dogpatch Mafia will not remain inert for long...
...Otherwise the whole point of busing is defeated...
...RET 2 The American Spectator November 1978...
...It is a scheme made all the more interesting and colorful by the fact that this district, the second largest in the Great Republic, contains not only blacks and whites but also a sizeable number of browns, some yellows, and an elegant tint of reds, thus allowing constructive racialists to give vast play to their stupefying imaginations: Perhaps two browns, three blacks, .4 yellows, and a gypsy to every 2.6 whites, so long as those whites have no Mediterranean or Semitic blood...
...Mr...
...Those students whose maternal and paternal grandparents are of proven Scandinavian blood will be considered 35 percent more white than the standard white...
...Was it to end like this...
...According to consultants employed by the state, North Carolina will not be able to conform to federal ozone standards until enormous numbers of pines are sacrificed...
...After the thirteen-day Camp David Summit ended successfully, a delirious national press set out to canonize the Wonderboy, and even our merry coves find it difficult to laugh and whistle at a saint...
...On September 13 the House Ethics Committee rendered its judgment that the Rt...
...Joshua Eilberg transgressed House rules and broke federal criminal law when his law bordello slipped more than $100,000 to him while it was aiding a Philadelphia hospital's lunge for federal funds...
...In September the Los Angeles school district began one of the most intricate and massive forced busings ever conceived by the brain of mortal man...
...Little B. (Bill) Douglas is in ruins after he appeared in a mess hall wearing a black gown, high heels, and a wig...
...According to the lady, Mrs...
...Henry Kissinger's step-by-step approach...
...Finally, with its September 23 number the Spectator of London is 150 years old and full of life...
...THE CONTINUING CRISIS • September was a very sad month for those merry coves who have experienced such sweet and carbonated hilaritas during the Presidency of Jimmy Carter and his Dogpatch Mafia...
...Staff Sgt...
...And a West Seattle, Washington, man has complained to police that his ex-wife has recently terrorized him with 242 obscene telephone calls, including 92 within a six-hour period...
...Sadat at work on the final details of the accords, and c) to keep his Yahoos quiet for thirteen days...
...September saw mounting evidence of what some social scientists see as a distressing trend in America's political culture...
...Zitser has lodged an official complaint against the Southern New England Telephone Company's hoary practice of listing the names of firms and individuals alphabetically in its yellow pages...
...A sad story indeed, but sadder still is the refusal of the West Seattle police to divulge the lady's name...
...Keith Moon, the frenzied drummer of the illustrious rock group The Who, died of the traditional drug overdose...
...No small achievement that, but for now the merry coves ought to cheer up...
...For the Camp David agreements, the world is indebted not to the Wonderboy's genius but to his doltishness and possibly to his amnesia, proving once again that stupidity has its constructive purposes...
...The Venerable John Ross Youens, 63, did not deny that he had raised the girl's skirt four times, exposing four to six inches of her femur, but he added that ever since his operation for Dupuyteren's Contracture he has had "to undergo almost automatic physio-therapy to get the fingers straight...
...Edward J. Patten, and the Rt...
...Jimmy's plan for a Middle East peace was, if memory serves us, for a comprehensive settlement...
...Ericson and his colleagues as "brave men battling fearful odds," completely obliterating the genuine progress in social justice that was made last year when our President's proclamation referred to the late Mr...
...Sadat ever arrived in the United States they had agreed to the essentials of the Camp David agreements, motivated as they were by that vision of horror Jimmy had created over a year before when he flabbergasted them with his plan for reconvening the Geneva Conference with the Russians, the PLO, and every other bomb-throwing statesman available for the occasion...
...Such are the blessings of liberty visited upon the children of greater Los Angeles by our benevolent, enlightened, and democratic polity...
...This year's presidential proclamation of Leif Ericson Day referred to Mr...
...All controversies will be settled according to the New Orleans race laws of 1843—after all, the past does have its uses...
...From the great state of Connecticut comes Mr...
...Ericson as "that courageous Norseperson...
...Had a pig's ear suddenly been transformed into what the redoubtable Newsweek called "a formidable international horse-trader" ? Apparently the sages at the National Press Club and at Sans Souci think so, yet the facts gainsay them...
...Jimmy's achievement was: a) to file away his own disastrous peace plan, b) to keep Mr...
...In the event that Mediterranean or Semitic traces appear in a student's genealogy he will be known as a "gray" or "grey...
...ments in the drive to make America a chaste and tidy realm of perfect justice...
...On September 5 a federal grand jury indicted former Representative Frank M. Clark on thirteen counts of mail fraud, perjury, and income tax evasion, and on the following day the Rt...
...Was the most amusing Presidency in modern times to end with organ accompaniment...
...The Canadian educational establishment was sent into depression by news that a trained chicken at the Canadian National Exhibition in Toronto was taking on all comers at tic-tac-toe and winning...
...Begin and Mr...
...Yet if America's forward-lookers are breaking new ground in the struggle for constructive racialism and an end to institutionalized alphabetism, there have been setbacks...
...A singularly interesting innovation in constructive racialism was introduced by Principal Harold Kuhn of the Dearborn Elementary School of Northridge, California...
...Before Mr...
...Furthermore, those Americans who hate and fear the environment received an unexpected boost when it was reported that North Carolina's chief polluter is its pine forests...
...There now appears almost no way for us to slip her our telephone number...
...Edward R. Roybal and reprimand the Rt...
Vol. 11 • November 1978 • No. 11
