Editorial / Hoosier Cantos
Tyrrell, R. Emmett Jr.
EDITORIAL R. Emmott Tyrrell, Jr. Hoosier Cantos The sanguine are saying that the turbulent sixties are behind us; we face a new era now. Welcome tidings these, but I am dubious. Few of...
...I had thought his achievements in keeping Chicago civilized were even more impressive than his malapropisms, and he seemed to be one of the least noxious pols afflicting us...
...Nor are any of our professional sophists very eager to champion such a movement...
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...and--truth to tell--they would have had my vote were I then up and about...
...American provincials sensed the exigency of dispersing the cosmopolitan winds wafting in from Europe for once and for all, and they closed shops on Sundays, censored books, and proscribed licentiousness in all its hellish forms...
...This was a show of awesome political clout, and only an historical illiterate will fail to note the large role played by women in all of this noble work...
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...Other phenomena like science and capitalism aided and abetted them, but women's liberationists who allege that their sisters have been kept down by bourgeois males are in error...
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...The rest employ the trickiness of hyperbole...
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...Still, I need not hang my argument on intellectual tirades long obscured by the sediment of years, for the historical events of the period also support my claim...
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...On the other hand pornography seems to be thriving in our supposedly rational era, and so long as there are gulls around to believe in the possibilities of endless couplings and volcanic ejaculations there is no reason to think people will perceive justice for the fraud it demonstrably is...
...There you have it, a clean thrust at two of our women's liberationists' most cherished beliefs: a) that American women have always been powerless and, b) that they have historically been victimized by the Chamber of Commerce, the Republicans, and the Boy Scouts of America...
...The whole thing grows eerier the more one thinks about it...
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...According to a documentary aired on the Public Broadcasting Service, life in Daley's Chicago was grimly suggestive of life in Schicklgruber's Germany...
...But oh, how I had misperceived the rogue...
...The liberators of yesteryear were well on their way to deauthorizing American womanhood when they did in the WCTU and the Protestant churches and diminished the importance of the family...
...The twenties witnessed the most feverish imposition of blue laws ever to sweep the country...
...How he managed to get elected by 70% of the vote in 1971 and by 77% in 1975 staggers my speculative powers...
...let the heathen be boiled in oil if he too does not bow to the Holy Word of Liberal Humbug...
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...What friend of liberty would ever countenance the social experiments that our children are constantly forced to undergo in our school systems...
...always they are the guinea pigs of one or another of liberalism's utopian experiments...
...They have been denied the right to thrive as coal miners, steeplejacks, nuisance lawyers, and so forth...
...Consider going anywhere...
...Tired of the same old political hacks who want nothing but power...
...Liberalism...or at least that curious epidemic of vacuous rituals that so successfully made off with the term...
...As the Carter Administration tries on the moth-eaten robes of Camelot there will be no hoo-hahs heard from this quarter...
...Yet, notwithstanding the dubiety that surrounds it, there is no celebrated "Justice is Dead" movement, not even in the universities...
...He is a votary who ceaselessly flails at his mortal flesh that he might discipline himself into submitting to each divinely revealed program for the New Age...
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...Yesterday liberals urged the rehabilitation of criminals, today such rehabilitation is viewed as arrant imperialism...
...Is it any wonder that the conscientious liberal so often prescribes coercion of his neighbor as the tool for social improvement...
...Of course at the root of all the Americanoes' woes were philistinism, capitalism, and leaden conservatism...
...The pundits are giving the Wonderboy his honeymoon, and he, after squawking dizzily about impending catastrophe and promising nothing less than his PopulistChristian cure, now must divine something approximating a policy...
...Still, as Jerry and his fabulous family abscond for the ski slopes and the Wonderboy opens his four-year soap opera, we are told that fresh winds caress the land...
...After all, he has often spent a lifetime coercing himself into accepting every contradictory new nostrum of liberal enlightenment, why not coerce others...
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...In fact some have actually enlarged them with new breakthroughs in quackery, and others like Ralph Nader are busily diversifying--safe automobiles, his fu'st racket...
...Mayor Daley...apparently his life was a political tragedy of unparalleled dimensions...
...Once he viewed the black's "social disorganization" as a consequence of his origins in slavery, now his sages tell him it is racist to suggest that slavery hurt the black in any way...
...Rather, this month I shall merely lay bc~%re you some of the random reflections that make me doubt we can soon shake the moonshine of tile sixties...
...Most of them practice a craft of insinuation, half-truth, and omission...
...Justice...the sempiternal mirage of history's mischief makers...
...Of course a large grain of truth resides here, but the women of the fevered brow go too far when they blame "the forces of conservatism" for their lowly condition...
...Few of yesterday's illustrious charlatans and busybodies have taken down their shingles...
...Yet this is just one of the galaxy of errors that compose today's women's movement, a movement steeped in such stupendous ignorance that it is impossible to think of it without being reminded of the simian religious tribes of remote Appalachia where the faithful devoutly guzzle strychnine and fondle rattlers...
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...Its influence within our government flies in the face of all our platitudes about the division of church and state...
...For twenty-two years he had governed the most prosperous and comfortable major city in America...
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...Furthermore they actually managed to knock the working man's beer schooner from his grip and to clear the shelf of demon rum...
...In the conterrvporary view of Harold Kutmer the American male was a pathetic victim of "mother-worship," who "becomes everything in his business and nothing in his home...
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...As I see it, we are steadily approaching the political and cultural greatness of Argentina, but that is another story...
...It was not the conservatives or the establishmentarians who deauthorized American womanhood, but rather the liberators of this century's early years: the cosmopolitans, the champions of modernity, the forces of liberality and enlightened ways...
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...What they might bring remains the pons asinorum of the moment, and a hush has befallen the Republic...
...Once the world's oppressed peoples were all to be liberated, now only Chileans...
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...Always proclaimed as an urgent objective and an ultimate good, it has never been seen by the mortal eye, never been experienced save in legends or in good-government fantasies, and its zealous pursuit has cost mankind horrible suffering and loss...
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...Well fair enough, and until he auspicates his foolishness we at The Alternative will be good sports and refrain from noting his promises to scotch inflation, smite unemployment, bring in "newcomers," revamp the bureaucracy, never employ the likes of Cyrus Vance, and always tell the truth...
...Those who can coerce themselves into such a thicket of preposterosities will not scruple over coercing others...
...I would not trust the most saintly of the breed...
...That these laws were abominable I do not doubt, but neither do I doubt that the church-going women and the Women's Christian Temperance Union activists were right in their perception that the spirit of personal liberation and easygoing skepticism spreading after World War I was a threat to their station in American society...
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...Philosophically disposed readers will be amused by it, for the progressive intellectuals of the twenties diagnosed America as suffering from about the same maladies that (continuedon page 39) 4 The Alternative: An American Spectator February 1977 HOOSIER CANTOS (continued from page 4) convince our present-day intellectuals that America might at any moment be rushed to the emergency room, gasping for breath, and begging for socialism...
...The book was a compendium of essays characteristic of the dissenting intellectuals' grief-stricken diagnosis of bourgeois America...
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...The struggle that followed was a furious and confused one, but eventually the modernists put the women to flight...
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...Furthermore, the New York Times obit forcefully implied that Daley exited for celestial parts but one step ahead of an army of government prosecutors, bill collectors, angry husbands, and enraged voters...
...The grumblers of the twenties, says Frederick Hoffman, believed American culture to have fallen under "the almost exclusive custody of women...
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...but the intelligentsia of the twenties bawled about something more, something that would astonish their successors, yet something they assayed as more poisonous than Judge Gary and all the Methodist hordes--American womanhood...
...Yet all these high-minded tyrannies the so-called liberal piously accepts, for he is a dutiful member of the church...
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...That such a movement is given a moment's serious consideration by educated people is an atrocity and a horselaugh on all those solemn extortionists from the education lobbies who forever have one hand at our throats and another hand in the till--all for the improvement of mankind...
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...Surely the liberal who once remonstrated against racial discrimination and who now hollers for busing and hiring quotas has had mercilessly to flog himself into subscribing to such contradictions...
...This ritualistic liberalism is a menace to liberty, made all the more dangerous because it lays claim to being the party of liberty...
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Vol. 10 • February 1977 • No. 5
