Parody

Parody Saddam Puts His Faith in History's Judgment Iraqi dictator has found inner peace By ELIZABETH SHOGREN TIMES STAFF WRITER BAGHDAD—In his nist American interview in many years, Saddam...

...I think it's time to put my gassing of the Kurdish villages and all that other germ warfare stuff behind us," the Iraqi leader declared, looking drawn and emotionally spent...
...I've had to do a lot of soul-searching," he said...
...Mr...
...I gave in to my shame," he added with a shrug...
...Parody Saddam Puts His Faith in History's Judgment Iraqi dictator has found inner peace By ELIZABETH SHOGREN TIMES STAFF WRITER BAGHDAD—In his nist American interview in many years, Saddam Hussein told Oprah Wm-frey that it is time to end the politics of personal destruction...
...That helped get me through the lonely times...
...I am at peace with myself...
...They only attain their objectives if their blackness dims my inner beam," Saddam declared, quoting Richard Simmons...
...They are consumed by hatred," he said...
...Saddam reminded his listeners that Winston Churchill had also been subjected to bombing raids...
...They only conquer me if their hate captures the sweetness of my heart...
...Accordingly Saddam claimed he has purged himself of any hatred he may have felt toward President Clinton or the "vast Zionist conspiracy" he believes is working to oust him...
...I know I have caused my extended family a lot of pain," he confessed, referring to his tendency to assassinate his brothers-in-law...
...No cruise missiles could degrade my sense of well-being as much as the pain I have caused myself," he said, tears welling up in his eyes...
...I have embraced myself fully and touched the inner Saddam...
...Other times it was just me, Tariq Azziz, and Kofi Annan sitting around eating ice cream out of a tub, just: talking and hugging and crying," he remembered...
...Hussein's book, "You Can Be Your Own Republican Guard," will be published this spring...
...It depends on what you mean by the word anthrax," he told Oprah at one point...
...At times like these I have sought solace in the company of burly thugs with bushy black mustaches exactly like my own," Saddam said, referring to the support group that has emerged in Baghdad in recent months...
...What does that do to extend health insurance to those who need k? I may be guilty of a few small genocides, but does that really rise to the level of a massive air assault...
...And of course 'Natural Born Killers.'" Saddam emphasized that it was important that he remain "an angel of light" and not give in to the dark motives of his enemies...
...We rented 'Waiting to Exhale' a lot...
...I mean, how constructive is a laser-guided missile...
...He added that he initially did not mean to massacre the wives and children of opposition leaders...
...He added that while he may have not been fully forthcoming with the UNSCOM inspectors, he never actually deceived them...
...Still, Saddam said this has been a trying year...

Vol. 4 • January 1999 • No. 16


 
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