Parody

The new head of the Democratic National Committee, Roy Romer, defended the president's personal fund-raising efforts inside the White House last week. "The president has to have coffees," he...

...President, I'm sure the gentlemen don't want to take up much of your time...
...President: You know what you got to do, then...
...President: Hey, with milk, it would have been 75 cents extra...
...Charlie Trie: What...
...Mexican Altura...
...You know that there are some trade secrets that I, as a restaurateur...
...Hey, Bruce, can you believe this guy's name is Wang...
...With the skim milk...
...They are just here to express their concern over the status of most-favored-nation discussions...
...Well, now you boys just have to have a cup of Java with me...
...And you, Mr...
...President: Skinny, though, right...
...President, we drink tea...
...Charlie Trie: I would enjoy some tea, Mr...
...Wang Jun: All right...
...Lap-sang Souchong, for example...
...President: That'll be $450,000...
...Wang...
...President: Heathen...
...It is smootiiCharlie Trie: A free-trade zone...
...President: Now hold on there just a moment, Charlie...
...President, this is blackmail...
...I'm just settin' a spell, enjoying me some Jamaica Blue Mountain...
...And we have many different varieties as well...
...President: Come on in, boys...
...President, your guests are here for the 3 o'clock coffee...
...Don't worry, Mr...
...Charlie Trie: Well, of course, I...
...President: Charlie Trie, do you want that free-trade zone or don't you...
...Anthony Lake: Mr...
...President...
...Cause we don't want that lactose-intolerance thing bubbling up right in the middle of this powwow...
...Charlie Trie: Now, Mr...
...In the little packet...
...It was Sanka...
...President, that the thought of drinking cow's milk is repulsive to me...
...Why, Mr...
...President: What...
...I just had the Secret Service put in a machine right over there...
...Let me mix you up some...
...Thank you, Mr...
...President: I was sure it was Ethiopian Yrgacheffe...
...Boy, I don't knowwhere you come from, but here in America we drink coffee...
...Charlie Trie: I didn't want to tell you...
...You know what I want to know, back from that restaurant of yours in Little Rock...
...The president has to have coffees," he said...
...Charlie Trie: Sanka...
...How about an espresso...
...It's a smooth, rich, dark bean...
...That coffee you loved so much that I served to you that one time you came in with Susan McDougal...
...Got one with Mexico, you know, just so I could get my hands on their bean...
...And the best part of being president is, I can get any bean I want here...
...President, that is more than we ever hoped even to think of...
...Get it...
...Charlie Trie: Mr...
...Lake: The doctor says I'm taking in too much caffeine, Mr...
...Charlie Trie: Sanka...
...De-cappuccino...
...News item Erskine Bowles: Mr...
...Now, if we could discuss the most-favored-nation...
...President...
...Wang, you don't have to have any cow's milk...
...President: Maybe we could go farther, talk about a whole free-trade zone...
...Charlie Trie: Sanka...
...Just pour in water and serve...
...Sumatra, Costa Rican Tres Rios...
...President: Tony, you like that stuff with the hot milk in it, don't you...
...President, we've talked about this before...
...President...
...President: Tea...
...President: Don't nobody ever said Virginia Kelley's boy didn't know how to bargain...
...Wang Jun: As a Chinese man, I must tell you, Mr...
...President: Noway...
...What you got to tell me...
...President: No prob, I'll make you one a them decappuccinos...
...Any bean...
...And what about you, Bruce...
...President: Man, is my face red...
...Wang Jun: I am from China, and in China, Mr...
...Bruce Lindsey: A latte for me, big guy...

Vol. 2 • February 1997 • No. 23


 
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