SMALL FAVORS

Ivins, Molly

SMALL FAVORS Molly Ivins Dulcet Tones and Grand Plans When last we left that merry band of Republican brothers in Congress, they were de-regulating shit on beef. They have since gone on to relax...

...As the boys prepared to storm out of the dorm to demonstrate against this heinous proposal, ol' Ern said, approximately, "Uh, fellas...
...Her column appears in this space every month...
...The favored argument is still the ad hominem (Latin teachers, please help: is "argumentum ad fem-inem" possible...
...In addition, the Republicans propose tax cuts for families, but according to the Treasury Department, 52 percent of those cuts will go to families making more than $100,000 a year, and another 31.6 percent to families making between $50,000 and $100,000...
...Increased corporate write-offs and deductions...
...attacking the femininity of feminists...
...Our opponents still haven't found any new adjectives to use against us...
...And, "Right...
...Whereupon the Cadets said, "Oh...
...They have since gone on to relax the rules on lead, radon, and arsenic, for which they shall receive the thanks of a grateful nation, overburdened to the gills with federal regulation...
...Lucy Stone's daughter observed, "Crowds expected a woman's-rights advocate to be a tall, aggressive, disagreeable woman, with masculine manners and a strident voice...
...But his first-ever effort was to stop a demonstration back when he was senior dorm counselor to the Cadet Corps at Texas A&M...
...Dulcet tones, girls, dulcet tones when discussing domestic violence, lest you, too, be called "shrill...
...And so we have...
...If we go out and demonstrate against the admission of women to this school, uh, it's gonna cause a lot of new Aggie jokes...
...Cost: $78.6 billion over seven years...
...As the president of the Armco Steel Company once said about what that company was then dumping into the Houston Ship Channel, "Cyanide is a scare word...
...In truth, the reputation applies to cows as well, and is so notorious it has affected legislative debate on sodomy laws in the past.] Well...
...Less than 5 percent of the tax cut will help families making less than $30,000...
...That's 40 percent of American families...
...But has anyone polled those boys...
...All in all, what we have here is a grand plan to aggravate the already impressive gap between those who are making it and those who aren't in this country, to increase the concentration of wealth among the few at the top...
...That voice became famous...
...Cost: $22.1 billion over seven years...
...Instead they found a small, quiet woman with gentle, unaffected manners, and the sweetest voice ever possessed by a public speaker...
...The world needs more leaders with a sense of the antic...
...Ernesto Cortes is a superb community organizer in Texas—got a genius grant from the MacArthur Foundation for it—and by now must have organized hundreds of demonstrations...
...We trust it was a party trick...
...And went to bed...
...I draw, of course, no inference concerning the sexual preferences of cadets at the Citadel...
...The money taken out of social spending will go to pay for tax cuts, including: mark newgarden Repeal of the corporate alternative minimum tax...
...And, "Never mind...
...You know this reputation us Aggies have for being fond of sheep...
...What's depressingly familiar is the reaction to all our advances...
...The now-famous photograph of cadets at the Citadel celebrating the withdrawal of Shannon Faulkner reminds me of an Ernie Cortes story...
...The only gladsome tidings I've seen lately were in a report saying that X-rays reveal Russian President Boris Yeltsin swallowed a swizzle stick...
...Capital-gains tax breaks, indexed to inflation...
...The price we pay in what sociologists call "social cohesion" is already apparent^ Molly Ivins is a columnist for the Fort Worth Star-Telegram...
...While the media focused on proposed budget cuts, carefully counting the big losers—labor, the environment, Medicare—few were looking at the winners...
...Cost: $47.8 billion over seven years...
...The Corps, conservative guardian of the many traditions of A&M, was enraged to learn the regents had voted to accept women (Maggies) at the previously all-Aggie school...
...The 75th anniversary of the suffrage of women provided a happy summer hiatus, a pleasant orgy of "you've-come-a-long-way-baby" editorials...
...Shrill," "strident," "hysterical," and "aggressive" remain the put-downs of choice...

Vol. 59 • October 1995 • No. 10


 
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