SMALL FAVORS
Ivins, Molly
SMALL FAVORS Molly Ivins Soap Opera You could probably prove, by judicious use of logarithms and congruent triangles, that real life is a lot more like soap opera than most people will admit. As...
...Our highest purpose, our noblest goal, our finest principle, our dream of greatness...
...At a recent symposium on toxic waste in Colorado, it was revealed that in addition to all the noxious civilian substances we have to worry about, the U.S...
...They could use a Texan on the Republican ticket...
...Detail, our only President—"I think the Justice Department is just running along fine," he said recently—has set forth a new ethical agenda that deserves sober consideration from us all...
...Will Jimmy Swaggart return to a grateful nation bearing lipstick stigmata on his palms...
...Detail got to discussing the causes of crime—variously attributed by other experts to poverty, emotional deprivation, mental illness, greed, Satan, and pure meanness—he observed, "History shows that when the taxes of a nation approach about 20 per cent of the people's income, there begins to be a lack of respect for government...
...When it reaches 25 per cent, there comes an increase in lawlessness...
...Most of us had not counted on the President's aides, Cabinet officers, underlings, and pals to take this grand new national aim so to heart in their own individual cases...
...Will we have to send in troops to get Meese out of the Justice Department...
...Little John was also delighted to inform me that "among those who have already joined the Inner Circle are Bob Hope, Arnold Schwarzenegger, George Shultz, Mario Andretti, and Wayne Newton...
...To find out whether the dread leak has finally sprung, the Government periodically sends a bunny rabbit into the storage area...
...And when I do, says the letter, I'll get two fabulous, fun-filled days in Washington, highlighted by a private dinner for Inner Circle members with Mr...
...Back in April 1980, when Mr...
...The Great Mentioner is now mentioning Phil Gramm as a possible running mate for George Bush...
...All the President's men are still in that dreadful, hateful, high old 38 per cent bracket, which is a lot lower since the great tax reform but still not down to that barely tolerable 25 per cent...
...Government has thousands of old nerve-gas bombs lying around, and they could start leaking at any time...
...As the World Turns is now featuring a remarkable drama hinging on these questions: Will General Noriega offer political asylum to Ed Meese...
...Afund-raising letter from the Republican Party wafted my way recently, sent by Senator John Tower, who was "delighted to inform you that at the last membership meeting of the Republican Senatorial Inner Circle, your name was placed in nomination by Senator Phil Gramm and you were accepted for membership...
...If the rabbit dies, the nerve gas is leaking, said a Government spokesman...
...Well, you see...
...The Shortest Senator does not mention filthy lucre, but I suspect we're talking money here, don't you...
...My formal invitation will be mailed in the next few days, and Tower urges me to respond instanter so I can demonstrate my "commitment to Republicanism that goes beyond mere lip service...
...It's such a fun Administration—half of it is under average and the other half is under indictment...
...That or the bombs are pregnant...
...Dan White used the Twinkie defense, Michael Deaver claimed Demon Rum made him do it, and the rest of the Reagan gang can claim the Tax Rationale: "Your honor, it was the income tax...
...Will President Reagan recover from the amnesia that has afflicted him for seven years...
...What I want for this country above all else" he said, "is that it may always be a place where a man can get rich...
...Reagan and I have a theory on why this has come to pass, what has driven them to it...
...On the other hand, nominated by Phil Gramm, informed by a delighted John Tower, with Arnold Schwarzenegger and Wayne Newton as fellow members—how can I not join...
...Molly Ivins, a columnist for the Dallas Times Herald, appears in this space every month...
...In addition to a day of briefings and closed-door strategy sessions on legislative policy, I'll be taking part in a small, intimate dinner—yes, small and intimate—hosted by a Republican Senator, a Cabinet member, or an Administration official...
...Now all I have to do is figure out how to get Erwin Knoll to pay my dues...
...Damn shrewd move...
...Detail...
Vol. 52 • June 1988 • No. 6
