RACHEL COWAN
RACHEL COWAN Conversion is a long, individual journey. Why not ask gentiles in love with Jews to sign a Jewish passport and get it over with ? Conversion to Judaism is a process, not a product....
...And then, "How can Judaism nurture my spirit...
...Outreach raises a different, more challenging problem...
...And it certainly requires greater financial and political support from the community than has so far been forthcoming...
...It's great that many Jewish leaders now are responding to the reality of interfaith marriage with a determination to reach out to Jews with gentile partners...
...He or she wants to know first, "Will the Jews ever believe I am Jewish and do they value the essential parts of me that are not Jewish...
...Some couples are sure to end up on a Jewish path, but others never will...
...Furthermore, many couples who have been through an intensive introduction-to-Judaism course—an experience that is based on community as well as learning—can't find a synagogue that is as dynamic, committed and welcoming as their learning community was...
...Sometimes I have helped people untangle complex knots...
...That can only happen when they have had a chance to study, to experience and to discuss freely and critically the strands of ethnicity, culture, spirituality, family, tradition and faith that twine together to make a committed Jewish life...
...They are eager to learn and to figure out how to bring what they learn into their lives...
...Conversion of the gentile is one piece of the pie— but the larger task is making our schools and shuls into Jewish hornes that make Judaism significant for Jews' by birth, Jews by Choice, and those who are not yet Jews...
...I heard it defined by Rabbi Neil Weinberg of the University of Judaism in Los Angeles as "leaving them dripping at the mikveh (ritual bath...
...Why can't we just ask the gentile partner to sign a Jewish passport and get it over with...
...Some of them will become committed Jews, some won't—not because of the success or failure of my teaching but because of the paths of their life-journeys...
...That's too mechanical...
...We cannot guarantee that these discussions will take everyone to the place where we want them to be...
...It is much more difficult to figure out how to help rabbis, cantors, teachers and other interested Jews build communities that inspire, teach and welcome...
...They love these traditions, and they don't want to surrender them to a secular Jewish lifestyle...
...It requires a personal commitment from the Jew in love with the gentile and from her or his larger family, from the congregation, from the rabbi...
...But it makes me uneasy to hear the task defined as: "We have to convert them...
...As sociologist Egon Mayer points out, the community's outreach is based on a desire to preserve continuity of the Jewish family rather than to bring a new light to the soul of the Christian partner...
...It is also complicated, difficult and time-consuming...
...We need to provide more guides along the path, not timekeepers at the end of the course, clocking numbers crossing the finish line...
...Nonetheless, I know that the outreach effort is worth it...
...I have led dozens of workshops for couples struggling to work these issues through...
...And those who don't will at least continue their lives with greater respect for Jews and Judaism...
...The students are wonderful...
...They have rituals, celebrations, traditions related to Christmas and Easter...
...Understandable as this desire is, it does not speak to the major concerns of the gentile entering our community...
...Why is it so complicated...
...I also teach a 30-week introduction-to-judaism class for the 92nd Street Vs Derekh Torah program...
...Reform rabbi Rachel Cowan is director of Jewish affairs for the Nathan Cummings Foundation...
...Sometimes I feel I have not helped at all...
...Of course, as a Jew by Choice, I am delighted to feel that the community now sees me and others like me as desirable...
...They may not choose to enter at the moment—but many will come back...
...These discussions take time...
...Their partner and his or her family are grateful that they converted but not eager to join them in a Jewish way of life...
...Like their Jewish partner, they may value spirituality, but they are skeptical about the value of denominational, organized religion...
...how can Jewish practice enhance my life...
...Whether or not they call themselves Christians or Americans, most of the gentiles who fall in love with Jews have a religious identity that is culturally rather than theologically based...
...Many of these people—including, and sometimes especially, the Jews—have not known it is there...
...We give people—both Jews and gentiles—a chance to look into the Jewish door and to glimpse something rich and profound within its inner halls...
...Reaching out to encourage conversion is a wonderful idea...
...they take patient guidance...
...With her late husband, Paul, she wrote Mixed Blessings: Marriages between Jews and Christians (Doubleday, 1987...
...First of all, we are working with people who are highly secular—products of modern American culture...
...As much as their Jewish partner, they need to feel that religion is important in their lives if they are going to make a commitment to practice Judaism...
...It is easy to blame interfaith marriage for diminished commitment to Jewish life...
...The real outreach challenge is to help synagogues, Jewish community centers and chavurot (prayer or study groups) become more creative, more passionate, more spiritual and more open to newcomers...
...But I also know that conversion is part of a long, individual journey...
...He meant that it is often hard for new converts to find enough supports in their Jewish identity...
Vol. 16 • April 1991 • No. 2
