The Quiet Corner
671 THE QUIET CORNER / counsel thee, shut not thy heart nor thy library.—C. Lamb. "The insufferability of paradoxes!" grumbled Doctor Angelicus, "and the vulgarity they foster! When one has...
...Habit makes the monk," continued Miss Anonymoncule, solemnly...
...I once knew a young poet—a soulful youth, the joy of all our gatherings—who developed into such a turbine wheel of these inverted speeches that all who knew him fled in terror, while a new audience laughed uproariously for a week at the more or less borrowed tatters of his mind, and having heard fled, to make place for another throng in the following week...
...A silence, denoting some guilt, fell over Miss Anonymoncule and Primus Criticus...
...672 She was not to be crushed by such soft blasts from Vanity Fair: she scribbled a moment on her yellow pad and handed out the following verses: "Don't be led by Letitia Le Queux To try stunts only Letty can do— To tickle your boss, And call him 'old hoss', Might mean instant dismissal for yeux...
...They tell us to keep the home fires burning," said Miss Euphemia, settling down to her proofs...
...When one has passed forty and looks back on years punctured with such flashes as 'One good turn deserves a mother-in-law,' or, ' 'Tis the early worm catches the bird,' one can hardly swallow one's soup when some stout old diner-out thinks he must continue his capering in this style of the afflicted 'nineties...
...Relics are not all sacred...
...This is the most unutterable foolishness I have ever undergone in the Quiet Corner...
...Tittivillus then delivered a mean one: "Many a miss hits the target...
...I heard what I thought was a good one today at luncheon," the former remarked: "An ounce of pleasure is worth a pound of chocolates...
...An answer came from Miss Anonymoncule on the instant: "Many a bill has been paid through a coo...
...A giggle was overheard from the corner where Miss Euphemia, whom Tittivillus (who has developed a pretty lisp) calls Miss Anemia, was shuffling the circulation cards, and a whisper: "Guilded cages were made for golddiggers...
...I need quiet...
...you bear the thumb marks of your early youth, Doctor...
...The anger of Doctor Angelicus began to show itself in his flushing cheeks: "There is no fool like an old one, unless it is a young one," he muttered, whereupon there was a ripple of applause from Miss Anoynmoncule and Primus Criticus: "That was really good, Doctor...
...The Librarian...
...My nerves, you know, my nerves—" "Most broken hearts can be repaired," suggested Miss Anonymoncule, softly...
...He struck an attitude, leaning against an imaginary grand piano on a Sunday night in South Kensington—a baritone who had lost his singing tones and taken to recitation: "Our chemist in old Abergavenny Bartered cholocates, three sticks for a pavenny Till the Pure Candy Sleuth Guarding innocent youth Scared him so that he doesn't sell avenny...
...Will you kindly stop this chatter, Miss...
...His end was horrible—no, not murdered, he died suddenly when an old professor, hearing him begin, ' 'Tis better to have loved and—' shouted: 'Stop, I have heard that before...
...Mothering a man may cause him to suspect you are kidding him, my dear," protested Euphemia...
...Ladies, ladies," interrupted Primus Criticus, "Charity covers a multitude of shins...
...Especially in the case of old paradoxes," snapped the Doctor, now thoroughly uncomfortable...
...You must not bother the Doctor with your contentions...
...To err is human," whispered Euphemia, "to forgive is fine...
...Hardly respectful to the Doctor," said Miss Euphemia...
...If this continues I shall bring my grievance to the editorial conference...
...A groan was heard from behind the Doctor's newspaper— "Water—ice-water, Titivillus, if you would save my lifel All this flaming youth and scorching old age is too much for me...
...All's well that ends well," added Miss Anonymoncule, "but who cares for remnants...
...Many a clinging vine has sour grapes," returned Miss Anonymoncule...
...And sharp tongues cut their own throats," murmured Primus Criticus, "at least, that is what the dramatic critics think...
...It was not intentional, I assure you," he apologized, impatiently...
...the doctors arrived too late to remove the chicken bone from the throat of this misguided victim of his own paradoxes...
...Which reminds me of another from the old country," burst in Britannicus, who had come into the Library in time to get Euphemia's upper-cut...
Vol. 5 • April 1927 • No. 24
