The Quiet Corner
531 THE QUIET CORNER / counsel thee, shut not thy heart nor thy library.—C. Lamb. "Something should be done," pronounced Britannicus, severely regarding Dr. Angelicus and Euphemia, "about the...
...One of the same young women," went on Britannicus in disgust, "then said to the other: " 'We went to the Burglars' Bin for dinner...
...But the stupidity of it...
...Oh, all right,' replied the other, 'but, gee, he chews gum sumpin' fierce.' " 'Oh, it's all right to chew gum,' retorted her friend, 'but you gotta know how to chew it!'" "There's nothing the matter with that," remarked Angelicus...
...Indeed not," declared Dr...
...You see, I was her escort...
...And yet you regard us superciliously, and speak about woeful American ignorance...
...and the covers were dirty at that!' " "I'm sure of it...
...The health authorities failed to explain in the notices that the test was to determine the susceptibility of persons to diphtheria...
...The young lady to whom the question was posed," replied Britannicus, "said: 'Let me see...
...Gee, they charge dreadful there...
...exclaimed Britannicus...
...sniffed Euphemia...
...What made her think that was a war song...
...No, no, Britannicus," said the Doctor, smiling as he relaxed in his chair, "you haven't proved your point at all...
...You can judge then, to what a low ebb it has fallen, when I repeat, verbatim, the conversation I overheard between two ladies...
...You're hopeless...
...One of the ladies said: " 'I didn't think much of it, did you?' " 'No,' replied the other, 'but then it's by Browning, so what could you expect...
...After dinner we played a game with a book of questions on odd bits of information which every well-educated person should be able to answer...
...The Doctor could not restrain a significant look in Euphemia's direction...
...But later I understood...
...Distressing ignorance is never a joke," maintained Britannicus...
...Oh, I don't mean anything personal," hastily interposed Britannicus...
...gurgled the Doctor...
...The incidents I have related are perhaps not a fair gauge, since they concern chiefly individuals who make no pretense of belonging to the cultured class...
...inquired Angelicus...
...Surely the Hampden audiences represent the best in American culture," protested Angelicus...
...Couldn't any of them answer that...
...Here you are in this library, surrounded by associates who represent—ahem—well, the utmost in American culture and intellectualism—in a mental atmosphere expressive of liberalism, sound aestheticism, and beauty...
...One question was: 'Name a war song popular in America during the period of the Civil War.1 " "That should have been easy," admitted Angelicus...
...The play, as you know, is a dramatic version of Browning's The Ring and the Book...
...I think you agree with me that no London paper would ever see the necessity of carrying such an item...
...Why, it must have been Seeing Nellie Home...
...Haven't you been neglecting your London papers recently...
...exclaimed Britannicus...
...What's the rest of your bill of complaints on that score...
...They were the last time I was there, and they probably haven't changed them...
...They wouldn't see the necessity because they wouldn't see the joke...
...I have read the book and seen the play and I want you to know that I don't approve of them.'" "I heartily commend that sort of ignorance," said the Doctor...
...If that's American ignorance, I wouldn't have it changed for anything...
...At least, she is perfectly sound on the proper reading matter for youth...
...asked Euphemia, mildly...
...But as for those who do, I went not long ago to a party made up of some charming American young people, most of whom were college graduates...
...So let's stick to this matter of alleged ignorance," supplemented the Doctor...
...I beg you to listen: " 'Recently the Health Department of Harrison, New Jersey, sent out notices to parents requesting them to permit their children to undergo the Schick test...
...The artistic chewing of gum is, in reality, an American fine art...
...Well," replied Britannicus, "the terrible lack of culture of the American people was again borne in upon me the other evening by some remarks J heard in the theatre lobby as I was coming out from a performance of Caponsacchi, in which Walter Hampden has been giving such a memorable piece of acting this winter...
...Angelicus, seriously...
...We do, indeed," said Euphemia...
...Cover charges, two dollars...
...That's just it—I'm afraid they do," replied Britannicus...
...No wonder Peaches won't have anything more to do with him!' " "Delicious...
...Ah," said Britannicus, "I wondered, too, at the time...
...No," said Euphemia, "for the longest day in the year doesn't come until June 21...
...exclaimed Euphemia...
...That's just one of the many troubles with you Americans...
...Yesterday the department received the following letter from a mother: 'I refuse positively to permit either of my boys to take the Schick test...
...The Librarian...
...But you haven't heard all yet," declared Britannicus...
...Angelicus and Euphemia, "about the woeful ignorance of the American people...
...You wouldn't rob a nation of one of its native accomplishments, would you...
...As an instance of the shocking vulgarity prevailing among American young people, I was walking behind two charming-looking young girls recently, and overheard this conversation: " 'How did you like Tom ?' asked one...
...I don't like your tone, Britannicus...
...Indeed...
...You will pardon my seeming lack of modesty, but I speak for my confreres as well as for myself...
...You would find no London paper carrying an item like the following," declared Britannicus...
...But perhaps one or two of the other incidents that I've noticed will convince you...
...You—" "We haven't time today," broke in Angelicus, "to go into all the troubles you find with Americans...
...No Britisher can make a remark like that in this library and not be called on for explanations...
...I was speaking of the American people at large, apropos of this recent item from the New York Times which, as an indication of national ignorance, is distressing in the extreme...
Vol. 5 • March 1927 • No. 19
