The Quiet Corner
THE QUIET CORNER "1 counsel thee, shut not thy heart nor thy library.—C. Lamb. "Tittivillus," said Dr. Angelicus, austerely surveying the boy who had entered the library, pale and wan, as well...
...the salaries of the professors would have to be cut...
...Really, he might with reason sue the trustees for fraud...
...In the meantime I am learning to be a very good dancer...
...But the cure is as sure as it is obvious...
...He stated that 'the world is not organized or prepared for a much higher level of intelligence than it already has/ declaring that even the small percentage of children who go through secondary schools have great difficulty in getting suitable employment in which they can use their higher education...
...and our educational fabric will begin to loom in his straightened vision as something infinitely bigger than a mammoth athletic gymnasium—something profoundly more serious than a paradise for the frivolities of adolescence.' " * * * "Too much learning is a dangerous thing, after all," declared Tittivillus decisively, as he reached for his dancing shoes...
...What did he come to college for...
...Or crying a choral hallelujah over the young man who has achieved a record in scholarship, debating, or dramatic art...
...One and all most be against them—to be effective, the unanimous teaching body much organize—form a union that will show a bold front to its browbeating scholars...
...It seems much wiser to me, if I am going to be educated, to wait until education has been improved to a point where all criticism would be unnecessary...
...The trouble with the American college is the alumni thereof...
...they bow down before it...
...In an examination in his elected subject, any examine can present the craziest patchwork of scraps and shreds of knowledge, and it will be accepted for the whole cloth of learning...
...The advertising medium of his chosen institution, the drawing-card which has trebled the registration and enabled its professors to be paid as well as if they were plumbers, is, solus-bolus, its superlative football team...
...Primus Criticus continued—" 'One can hardly reprove the college boy for waxing wroth at the thought of compulsory study...
...they reward their holy gladiators later on with handsome jobs as bond-salesmen...
...they connive to better it...
...No wonder the student resents the daily dose of learning...
...And for good reason...
...The Librarian...
...Who ever heard of an alumni association patting the arts on the back...
...and the wolf would howl long and loud and hungrily at the dean's door...
...Apropos of education," said Primus Criticus, "I have here an anonymous article entitled Three Thoughts on Education, which was sent to me recently after I had made a speech on the value of education at a certain college...
...In any event, you can depend on him to upset the equipoise of the debating society's next meeting, by introducing the resolution at once pert and pertinent—'Resolved:—That not only studies, but study, should be made elective/ " * * H "I don't know now whether education is such a bad thing after all," said Tittivillus, reflectively...
...Teachers/ went on Primus Criticus, 'must organize...
...the revenues in consequence would be desperately depleted...
...Angelicus, austerely surveying the boy who had entered the library, pale and wan, as well as late, "I fear you spend your evenings dancing...
...Not against the trustees for higher wages (although that is a desideratum) but against the students in the cause of increased study...
...Or let every association of alumni voluntarily commit corporate suicide...
...Haven't you read," replied Tittivillus, "what Professor McDuff of England, a lecturer at Armstrong College, recently said of education...
...They put up football as a fetish...
...He comes here, quite naturally, expecting to play on said team, or—at least and at most—to cheer it on to victory...
...The columns of the press overflow with criticisms of it...
...How can I?" replied Tittivillus...
...What else does the anonymous author say to prove that Dr...
...And now they want him to study—which is absurd...
...Teachers must organize a sout-hearted band of resistance...
...For to be for them, one must be against them...
...Trust the youth, fairly aware of this condition as well as possessing a subconscious notion of the reason therefor, to make his division of labor and play accordingly...
...Read it to us," said Tittivillus, encouraged, so Primus Criticus began— " 'By their fruits ye shall know them...
...Besides, I'm too busy learning to Charleston...
...to back them up, there must be a union of deans...
...But who ever heard of the alumni of any institution putting their combined shoulders to the wheel—working as an organization—to better the things of the mind ? Or worrying themselves sick over intellectual decay within the walls of their alma mater...
...You should go to night school...
...Such frivolous employment of your spare time will not carry you far on the literary career I once hoped might be yours...
...Thus, the undiligent scholar, every avenue of escape closed to him, turn to what school he may, seeing hard work ahead of him, will doubtless apply himself thenceforth with great practicality to his task...
...Don't you put any value on education...
...if everyone of his colleagues so acted, his school would lose to a more indulgent alma mater, maybe half its pupils...
...they shout hallelujahs in admiration of it...
...To remedy the lamentable condition of the academic structure, it is said that one must go to the foundations: we say—'take the elevator to the roof!' Let every college do away with its alumni...
...to back up the deans, there must be an American Federation of Academic Labor, dictated to by the College-President Trust of the world...
...Angelieus is mistaken...
...Under the present reign of terror, no pedagogue dares to pluck as many students as he actually deems unfit...
...It would indicate that there is something in what Tittivillus says...
...Read the conclusion...
...My boy, you grieve me," said the Doctor soberly...
...In place of the discordant strains of a jazz band every evening, the flowing periods of Cicero should echo in your ears...
...No, Doctor, no night school for me...
...If he did so, he would be dismissed as incompetent...
...It is as if he were a sailor, enticed to enlistment by recruiting posters of colorful Hawaiian beaches, only to be pressed permanently into service in the drab cook's galley of a New England naval station...
...This is a practical world, for which my grammar-school education has eminently fitted me...
...Under the present elastic scholastic sway, nearly all students are retained save the obvious moron and the hopeless incorrigible...
...By all means, let us start at the capstone of the educational edifice, and cure the mental inadequacy of the American college by lopping its top off V " * * * "Now you see, Doctor," cried Tittivillus, "that one of the evils of education is that it involves the necessity of becoming a member of an alumni association...
...You know yourself no two people agree about it...
Vol. 3 • January 1926 • No. 10
