The Continuing Crisis

The Continuing Crisis ^ In the past six weeks two politicians have emerged from the obscurity of the provinces to become Presidential front-runners, and one politician has bumped his historic head...

...Sandra T. Runge's husband, who passed on to his reward while engaging in "an unusual autoerotic practice in which he was seeking to heighten the experience of masturbation by stimulation of nerve centers in the brain through the asphyxial process...
...orous sexuality of Mrs...
...What Mr...
...Howard Hughes died, the Senate Se Committee on Intelligence died, and ten A tralian Boy Scouts claimed to have helped 1, elderly women across a Sydney street in I and a half hours...
...Funderburg bashed in Mr...
...In Teessi England, Mr...
...The remedy was the police, not a hail of bullets," pronounced Judge Joseph S. Forma primly as he imposed a $200 fine on Henry McEachin, 55, the Buffalo, New York laborer who had wounded Mr...
...But the identity of the Democratic frenr-runner remains enshrouded in a prodigious fog of pharisaical vaporings, and therein resides thellikt‘to this unctuous yahoo's succtss,Of lets the average Americano and the Washington journalis have been burnt so horribly and.with palling regularity bk, their political, Messiahs that they are now ready to ops- for the one candidate least forthcoming and most obscure...
...Leroy Taylor, a director of the Five-Day Stop Smoking Plan of Canada, died under curious circumstances...
...In Denver, a member of the Colorado House of Representatives who surely is in cadence with such judicial opinions attempted to end pornography and hellishness when he introduced a bill that would outlaw "any ultimate sexual act, normal or perverted...
...Gibbon Hedley was given a f year jail sentence for one of the most inter ing and courageous murders in the annal: English crime...
...As Mr...
...businesses refusing to abide by the law are subject to fines and their owners to incarceration...
...Miss Louise Lasser, the star of "Mary Hartman, Mary Hartman," was arrested for the possession of illicit drugs when she became boisterous in front of a Beverly Hills, California boutique...
...On April Mr...
...Nixon is grateful...
...He it was who rekindled memories of the great Chief Justice John Marshall when, in deciding that an employee may not be fired for resisting her employer's sexual advances, added the colossal obiter dictum that said employee would have had no grounds for her suit had her employer been bisexual and made demands on employees of both sexes...
...MI The Washington Star reports that some exciting new hair preparations are being marketed...
...This infamy i curred when Major General Juvenal Habya mana, president of financially troubl Rwanda, landed at Kampala International A port for an economic summit with the pre dent of similarly troubled Uganda, and w met by General Idi Amin wobbling across t runway on a bicycle—a sad moment made the sadder by the fact that the source of be countries' economic miseries was not shot the time he reached the airplane...
...The Ku Klux Klan took heart when the Utah state legislature passed the first segregation law in the United States in nearly thirty years...
...In Kinshasa, Zaire, Sei nary of State Henry Kissinger contrac gastroenteritis after a voluptuous feast of N boar, roots, and smell weed soup...
...Hedley the plosion only gravely injured the two men, Mr...
...What Mr...
...Turning to matters more dignified than politics, a puritanical federal appeals court held that the widow of a remarkable man who died while engaged in "a sexual act" is entitled to an insurance award of no more than $19,000...
...2 The Alternative: An American Spectator June/July...
...Taylor's room...
...Runge was not entitled to accident compensation, a melancholy ending to the marital bliss of the Runges, and another example of America's Victorian hang-ups...
...Carter has done is devote two years to studying: every national campaign since the forties, every Congressional district, and every useful poll...
...Of his politics he has said next to nothing...
...She was promptly freed on $1,631 bond, as loyal fans all over the country pondered the suspicious circumstances of her case...
...McEachin and members of his family with a toaster...
...Their man is Carter: the poet of Plains, Georgia...
...Judge yourself...
...as is the MAIlinty of the RepublicirtfVorkt-runner...
...The Soviet Union's Twenty-fifth Party Congress concluded on an optimistic note when it was announced that next fall boutiques in the USSR will feature babushkas in six lively colors...
...and assaulted Mr...
...That the ingredients include extracts from human placentas has discomfited some buyers, but producers of the hair preparations have attempted to assuage them by hiring one of Washington's leading logicians to confect a devastating retort: "If it's good enough to hold a baby inside mommy's belly, it's good enough to put on somebody's hair"—obvicously the work of a Kennedy aide...
...ten years of tumult have reduced many Americans to pursuing the politics of chance...
...Unfortunately for Mr...
...And Mr...
...Admittedly the joie has its old oddball starchiness...
...Taylor was the victim of a motel fire begun when a cigarette mysteriously ignited a mattress near Mr...
...At this writing the bill may be in trouble with civil libertarians, but it is attracting favorable comment from the zero-growth cabal...
...Said the unfla pable Miss Barney, "There was horsepla but it was a gay event, a fund raising event Just so, and police reported that the nigh events included a series of "unbelievable s acts...
...Henceforth, restaurants and other public buildings must segregate cigarette smokers in special areas away from the general public...
...Hedley—though bloody and depresse perforce staggered over to his victim thrashed him to death with the aforementio battery detonator...
...After all, just what does constitute boisterous behavior in a Beverly Hills boutique...
...Apparently the Fourth U.S...
...District Court...
...Aftering hearing that his N had slept with another man, Mr...
...Carter has told them is that: he loves them and their country, he wants to be President more ardently than anyone else in the race, he has never lived in Washington, he hates evil and loves good...
...An enormous pother ensu when it was discovered that the arrested la was none other than Miss Jeanne Barney, t intellectual editor of Drummer, a cultural be con for those Los Angeles aesthetes devot to the "leather life-style...
...Hec stuffed explosives under his coat, hung a 1 tery detonator around his neck, stepped in the alleged Casanova, and detonated charges...
...John L. Funderburg, 29, on the evening of January 17, when Mr...
...For the first time since August 9, 1974, the old joie de vivre is wafting from the wilderness of San Clemente, California...
...On April 8, the world witnessed the thetic spectacle of a great world leader I duced by economic adversity to attending affair of state on a bicycle...
...Runge had voluntarily placed his head in the noose that killed him, the court agreed with the Metropolitan Insurance Company that Mrs...
...The identity of the politician with the lumpy noodle is well-known...
...He has come closest to mastering the Democrats' cumbersome and idiotic nominating process and he has set up the only professional campaign staff in the country...
...McEachin's door at 1:15 a.m...
...And the April issue of Corrections magazine reports the glad tidings that there are now more men and women residing in state and federal prisons than at any other time in our nation's history...
...Elsewhere in the Los Angeles area, 60 police, aided by two helicopters, appeared uninvited at the Mark IV bath house and rounded up 39 men and one woman wearing horn-rimmed glasses during a quiet "mislave auction...
...homosexual movement...
...Circuit Court of Appeals failed to appreciate the vig...
...Such is the quality of intellect presiding over the city court of Buffalo, but compare it with the wisdom of the learned Judge Charles Richey of the U.S...
...The Continuing Crisis ^ In the past six weeks two politicians have emerged from the obscurity of the provinces to become Presidential front-runners, and one politician has bumped his historic head twice as he waved his way into his helicopter...
...Just three months after England's Rc Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to mals ordered his owner to desist from feed him beer, Geronimo, the world's largest 1 snail, died in his London shell...
...but it is joie nonetheless...
...Finally from Senator Walter Mondale's fice comes the implausible excuse that he not know an excerpt from his book, The countability of Power, was to be publishes Genesis along with such avant garde stuff "The Erotic Diary of a Nympho Cheerleade I say the Senator just wanted to ensure his essay was read by his colleagues...
...They confiscated whips, chains, leath garments, and a wooden punishment sto which has aroused concern from Los Angel consumerists suspicious that it may be contravention of existing OSHA regulatior Such disregard for public health and safe standards could give a black eye to the ern...
...For in Carter's triumph the political practices of Richard Milhous Nixon are being vindicated, and Mr...
...He has convinced vast numbers of voters that he is the only nonpolitician in the 1976 race...

Vol. 9 • June 1976 • No. 9


 
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