Double-Digit Inflation!!!
Stein, Herbert
Herbert Stein Double-Digit Inflation!!! People say this is a hard, dog-eat-dog business. They're wrong. It's full of sentiment. Take me and Manny, for instance. Every two or three months he calls...
...You're right...
...Well, we start with an economist...
...He knows where the buttons could be gotten cheap...
...They're afraid of earthquakes, burning skyscrapers, capsizing luxury liners...
...Bingo...
...But it's all over...
...The Secretary of the Treasury argues for cutting spending...
...The Secretary of the Treasury argues for cutting spending...
...There seemed to be a lot of good photo opportunities in it...
...Do you tell him you're afraid of being possessed by a devil...
...it's too little oil and wheat...
...The Director of OMB says the next thing on his list for cutting is the Internal Revenue Service, and the Secretary withdraws the suggestion...
...It's like the struggle between Brody and the white shark, only better, because tens of millions of Americans play golf and how many hunt white sharks...
...It includes the Secretary of the Treasury, the Secretary of Labor, the Chairman of the Federal Reserve, the Director of the Office of Management and Budget, the Chairman of the Council of Economic Advisers, the President's Special Assistant for Economic Affairs, and the White House photographer...
...That's the beauty of the idea," he assured me...
...Times have changed...
...But, nobody knows how to get more oil and wheat, so they're at a dead end...
...It's too realistic...
...Bingo...
...El The Alternative: An American Spectator December 1975 19 Herbert Stein Double-Digit Inflation...
...He finds Meany a charming golfing companion, but he can't stand having to lose every time to a man over eighty...
...he plows on...
...No...
...What's the Septet...
...Maybe he went to Harvard and teaches at UCLA...
...That's the hard part, and I have to do some more work on that...
...Every two or three months he calls me up and says he has a great idea for a pi...
...Is it because he might have a commercial idea...
...I can guess," I reply wearily...
...There seemed to be a lot of good photo opportunities in it...
...Well, we start with an economist...
...Right...
...So, I would have them meet in the Oval Office...
...It's not only a golf contest between the President and Meany, but also psychological battle within the President...
...We've run out of disasters...
...It's the President's top committee of economic advisers...
...Double-digit inflation is here...
...I knew I couldn't stop him anyway, so I asked him to tell me the story...
...Things like that...
...As soon as we order the martinis, he starts...
...I see it going something like this: "The President's Special Assistant suggests they should distribute a lot of buttons saying WIN for Whip Inflation Now...
...We're proud of that Ph.D...
...He says he played golf with Meany to get him to the inflation summit last year, to get him to put in a good word with Solzhenitbyn, and to get him to permit exports of grain to the Russians...
...And we start with the advantage that they're already frightened, even if you're half right about the polls...
...It would have been a good cinema, but I was afraid the Eastern press would say it was too Nixonian and 18 The Alternative: An American Spectator December 1975 would pan it...
...Did he recheck his model and his computer...
...But, the polls...
...They learned it from the movies...
...Every two or three months he calls me up and says he has a great idea for a picture...
...So, we come to the big climax—the golf match between the President and Meany...
...But, you've told me a hundred times that an incomes policy won't stop inflation," I complained...
...Look kid...
...We've overlooked the biggest one...
...We can get Nicklaus and Weiskopf to shoot the golf balls...
...Somebody rings your doorbell in Omaha, Nebraska and asks you what you're worried about...
...I know about polls...
...The President likes this idea, but the Secretary of Labor warns him that he can't do it without the approval of George Meany and he knows what that requires...
...They're afraid of sharks...
...He says he isn't sure, he just read about it in the newspapers, but it seemed to involve the President meeting with leaders of business and labor and asking them not to raise prices and wages too much...
...It's like the struggle between Brody and the white shark, only better, because tens of millions of Americans play golf and how many hunt white sharks...
...Like the other day...
...Double-digit inflation is here...
...He has to play golf with Meany...
...We never know whether he missed the putt on purpose or not...
...Pure sentiment...
...We get some wonderful panic shots...
...And we start with the advantage that they're already frightened, even if you're half right about the polls...
...But, the President doesn't like that idea...
...What's the Septet...
...Look kid...
...Look," he goes on...
...Pure sentiment...
...He pushes the button again, same flashing lights, same spinning wheels, same print-out...
...We've overlooked the biggest one...
...They just listen to be titillated...
...Double-digit inflation...
...The President asks him what that means...
...So the President decides he better do something about the inflation...
...Easy...
...I knew I couldn't stop him anyway, so I asked him to tell me the story...
...You don't want to be sent to the funny-farm...
...I couldn't help asking...
...One day he presses the button, the lights flash, the wheels spin, and he gets this print-out, `Double-digit inflation coming.' He can't believe it...
...It would have been a good cinema, but I was afraid the Eastern press would say it was too Nixonian and 18 The Alternative: An American Spectator December 1975 would pan it...
...So, I would have them meet in the Oval Office...
...So, we come to the big climax—the golf match between the President and Meany...
...Maybe it's because we went to the same high school...
...So I invite him to lunch at Pip's...
...Joe," he says, "I've got the picture idea of the century...
...Times have changed...
...Do you tell him you're afraid of being possessed by a devil...
...Should he be honest and win or throw the match for the good of the country...
...Famous UCLA economist, Nobel prize candidate, predicts double-digit inflation.' " "And then I suppose the public ostracizes him, the way it always did Paul Muni and Don Ameche when they discovered something in the old movies...
...Right...
...Is it because he might have a commercial idea...
...Pure sentiment...
...But, the President doesn't like that idea...
...So the President decides he better do something about the inflation...
...Joe," he says, "I've got the picture idea of the century...
...The question is, how are you going to stop the double-digit inflation...
...The problem, hesays, is not too much money...
...The kid had obviously worked hard on this, but I had to tell nim the truth...
...The Chairman of the CEA says that monetary growth ought to be restricted, but the Chairman of the Federal Reserve says that's a superficial idea...
...But, the others urge him and finally he agrees to play, but won't promise to lose...
...Should he be honest and win or throw the match for the good of the country...
...Every two or three months he calls me up and says he has a great idea for a picture...
...I see it going something like this: "The President's Special Assistant suggests they should distribute a lot of buttons saying WIN for Whip Inflation Now...
...But, Meany agrees to the incomes policy and everybody is happy...
...Anyway, he has this enormous econometric model and this enormous computer...
...We have a great night scene of a torchlight parade of University of Chicago economists around the Federal Reserve Building, chanting, 'Down with the money supply!' "At the height of the excitement, the President's wife goes on the 60 Minutes television show...
...Did he recheck his model and his computer...
...It won't work, Manny...
...I'm sure we'll think of something before we get to the end, if we only put the picture into production...
...Pure sentiment...
...At first people don't believe him...
...The White House photographer...
...That infuriates the Congress, and resolutions are introduced to impeach the First Lady...
...So, you tell him you're worried about inflation...
...Maybe it's because we went to the same high school...
...That's the way it always is...
...Famous UCLA economist, Nobel prize candidate, predicts double-digit inflation.' " "And then I suppose the public ostracizes him, the way it always did Paul Muni and Don Ameche when they discovered something in the old movies...
...But, Joe, how did the people learn to be afraid of sharks, and earthquakes, and so on...
...Oh, he's on all the high-level committees...
...That infuriates the Congress, and resolutions are introduced to impeach the First Lady...
...The American people are so guilty over their affluence that they idolize anybody who tells them things are terrible, or are going to be He appears on the Today Show and AM America and goes around the country giving $5,000-a-shot lectures...
...Well," I was becoming impatient, "that's all window-dressing...
...You know what she answers...
...No...
...It's about time," I grunted...
...Numero Uno on every pollster's list of what people are most afraid of...
...But, the others urge him and finally he agrees to play, but won't promise to lose...
...The Chairman of the CEA says that monetary growth ought to be restricted, but the Chairman of the Federal Reserve says that's a superficial idea...
...Numero Uno on every pollster's list of what people are most afraid of...
...Women storming the supermarkets to buy up the aluminum foil before the hoarders get there...
...Maybe it's because he's my brother...
...Natural disasters...
...On the eighteenth hole the President misses a seven-inch putt and loses the match...
...I know I'm going to pick up the tab...
...He pays no attention...
...Maybe it's because he's my brother...
...That's the way it always is...
...We get some wonderful panic shots...
...It's not only a golf contest between the President and Meany, but also psychological battle within the President...
...It won't work, Manny...
...The President likes this idea, but the Secretary of Labor warns him that he can't do it without the approval of George Meany and he knows what that requires...
...We never know whether he missed the putt on purpose or not...
...The rate of inflation rises to eight percent, then to nine percent, then it's ten percent...
...So, why do I do it...
...An economiics professor at UCLA isn't going to pay the lunch check at Pip's...
...The Director of OMB says the next thing on his list for cutting is the Internal Revenue Service, and the Secretary withdraws the suggestion...
...It's the President's top committee of economic advisers...
...But, then we see the monthly price indexes creeping up...
...Finally, the photographer comes up with the suggestion that they should have an incomes policy...
...But, Joe, how did the people learn to be afraid of sharks, and earthquakes, and so on...
...An economiics professor at UCLA isn't going to pay the lunch check at Pip's...
...Then we switch to Washington...
...They're afraid of earthquakes, burning skyscrapers, capsizing luxury liners...
...Then we switch to Washington...
...But, don't tell me what people are afraid of...
...Anyway, I thought at first of having the President and the Septet go up to Camp David in helicopters for the meeting...
...Never...
...The century's three-quarters over...
...Don't be silly...
...He pushes the button again, same flashing lights, same spinning wheels, same print-out...
...They're afraid of sharks...
...Next year you can have a sequel called, 'The Return of Double-Digit Inflation.' " I thought for several minutes...
...They ask her what she has to say to the citizens who are angry because selling wheat to the Soviets has raised the price of bread to a dollar a loaf...
...He calls an emergency meeting of the Septet...
...It's about time," I grunted...
...But, still, the next time he calls with an idea, I'll ask him to lunch again...
...You think it makes you sound like Eric Sevareid...
...he plows on...
...He finds Meany a charming golfing companion, but he can't stand having to lose every time to a man over eighty...
...We all know you're smart...
...Anyway, he has this enormous econometric model and this enormous computer...
...But, Meany agrees to the incomes policy and everybody is happy...
...Let 'em eat piroshkes!' she says...
...We've run out of disasters...
...I'm sure we'll think of something before we get to the end, if we only put the picture into production...
...Then what...
...How did he get on that committee...
...Maybe he went to Harvard and teaches at UCLA...
...you got from Harvard...
...You know what she answers...
...I know I'm going to pick up the tab...
...Then everybody agrees they should do something about taxes, but the Secretary of the Treasury thinks taxes should be cut to encourage investment and production and the others think taxes should be raised to reduce purchasing power...
...Like the other day...
...He knows where the buttons could be gotten cheap...
...Massive traffic jams on the throughways, as all the workers get into their campers and rush to Florida for one last vacation before their money becomes worthless...
...Anyway, I thought at first of having the President and the Septet go up to Camp David in helicopters for the meeting...
...Women storming the supermarkets to buy up the aluminum foil before the hoarders get there...
...you got from Harvard...
...We can make a movie that'll frighten the pants off them about inflation...
...The American people are so guilty over their affluence that they idolize anybody who tells them things are terrible, or are going to be He appears on the Today Show and AM America and goes around the country giving $5,000-a-shot lectures...
...It includes the Secretary of the Treasury, the Secretary of Labor, the Chairman of the Federal Reserve, the Director of the Office of Management and Budget, the Chairman of the Council of Economic Advisers, the President's Special Assistant for Economic Affairs, and the White House photographer...
...The principals won't come to a meeting unless they're sure a photographer will be there...
...We're proud of that Ph.D...
...I couldn't help asking...
...Then what...
...But, then we see the monthly price indexes creeping up...
...At first people don't believe him...
...He says he isn't sure, he just read about it in the newspapers, but it seemed to involve the President meeting with leaders of business and labor and asking them not to raise prices and wages too much...
...He gets out a press release...
...But, still, the next time he calls with an idea, I'll ask him to lunch again...
...Then everybody agrees they should do something about taxes, but the Secretary of the Treasury thinks taxes should be cut to encourage investment and production and the others think taxes should be raised to reduce purchasing power...
...But, you've told me a hundred times that an incomes policy won't stop inflation," I complained...
...Things like that...
...But, the polls...
...Double-digit inflation...
...Massive traffic jams on the throughways, as all the workers get into their campers and rush to Florida for one last vacation before their money becomes worthless...
...They just listen to be titillated...
...No, we haven't...
...it's too little oil and wheat...
...They ask her what she has to say to the citizens who are angry because selling wheat to the Soviets has raised the price of bread to a dollar a loaf...
...He says he played golf with Meany to get him to the inflation summit last year, to get him to put in a good word with Solzhenitbyn, and to get him to permit exports of grain to the Russians...
...He pays no attention...
...We all know you're smart...
...You don't want to be sent to the funny-farm...
...Look," he goes on...
...The White House photographer...
...Natural disasters...
...That's the hard part, and I have to do some more work on that...
...We have a great night scene of a torchlight parade of University of Chicago economists around the Federal Reserve Building, chanting, 'Down with the money supply!' "At the height of the excitement, the President's wife goes on the 60 Minutes television show...
...No, we haven't...
...Next year you can have a sequel called, 'The Return of Double-Digit Inflation.' " I thought for several minutes...
...We can make a movie that'll frighten the pants off them about inflation...
...As soon as we order the martinis, he starts...
...So, you tell him you're worried about inflation...
...Finally, the photographer comes up with the suggestion that they should have an incomes policy...
...Do you tell him you're worried about sharks...
...What's the biggest thing going today...
...Don't be silly...
...Well," I was becoming impatient, "that's all window-dressing...
...I know about polls...
...But, nobody knows how to get more oil and wheat, so they're at a dead end...
...He has to play golf with Meany...
...Let 'em eat piroshkes!' she says...
...One day he presses the button, the lights flash, the wheels spin, and he gets this print-out, `Double-digit inflation coming.' He can't believe it...
...The match has angles...
...The kid had obviously worked hard on this, but I had to tell nim the truth...
...He gets out a press release...
...The century's three-quarters over...
...The principals won't come to a meeting unless they're sure a photographer will be there...
...That's the beauty of the idea," he assured me...
...The President balks at this...
...They learned it from the movies...
...Somebody rings your doorbell in Omaha, Nebraska and asks you what you're worried about...
...You think it makes you sound like Eric Sevareid...
...I can't tell why...
...The rate of inflation rises to eight percent, then to nine percent, then it's ten percent...
...On the eighteenth hole the President misses a seven-inch putt and loses the match...
...The problem, hesays, is not too much money...
...It's not show business...
...We can get Nicklaus and Weiskopf to shoot the golf balls...
...The question is, how are you going to stop the double-digit inflation...
...The match has angles...
...El The Alternative: An American Spectator December 1975 19 Herbert Stein Double-Digit Inflation...
...But, don't tell me what people are afraid of...
...Oh, he's on all the high-level committees...
...It's too realistic...
...Never...
...So I invite him to lunch at Pip's...
...What's the biggest thing going today...
...So, why do I do it...
...It's not show business...
...Easy...
...You're right...
...I can guess," I reply wearily...
...I can't tell why...
...But it's all over...
...The President balks at this...
...He calls an emergency meeting of the Septet...
...The President asks him what that means...
...How did he get on that committee...
...Do you tell him you're worried about sharks...
Vol. 9 • December 1975 • No. 3
