The Bootblack Stand
Plunkitt, George Washington
"The Bootblack Stand" Dear Dr. Plunkitt: I am the only candidate who has ever run for the Senate from New York, wearing levis and hush puppies. Of course this is a real advance against the rich and the powerful, and it...
...They have leveled a blistering attack upon a magnificent human being, Herbert X. Blyden, who seconded my 'nomination at the state convention, because he has had a little legal difficulty...
...Nevertheless here I am...
...Stone believes it is about time that we extend the Bill of Rights to trees...
...I find his idea especially worthwhile as my November election approaches, for I find myself running against a so-called POW who has impugned my spotless, albeit complicated, war record...
...As you can easily imagine the rich and the powerful are out to get me...
...Of course this is a real advance against the rich and the powerful, and it is indeed a black mark against our system of government that ten years ago no candidate in the state could have won the nomination of a major party while wearing this attire, which is so very much indigenous to the culture of urban poverty...
...GWP...
...I even wear work shirts (no starch...
...Let them buy up a little real estate...
...With you and Gravel and Hartke in the Senate it will be like the rebirth of the Marx Brothers...
...Plunkitt, can we get trees enfranchised before the November elections...
...I asked Brother Blyden to second my nomination, because it seems to me that it is about time that we fulfill the expectationsof the founders and extend the Bill of Rights to kidnappers and murderers in general...
...But viewed historically, it is not so...
...He is under indictment for four counts of kidnapping and two counts of murder as a 1971 Attica rioter...
...But the way to do it is not to get your Harvard and your Yale hightoners to make speeches in the New York Times but to get back to your state...
...That is what politics is all about—votes and taking advantage of your opportunities...
...The people like harmony, and they will vote for a party that promises harmony...
...Wink at a few judges and let them know where the next "public improvement" will be built...
...All your talking and caterwauling of doom has split the party into pieces and threatens the harmony of the country...
...GWP Dear Dr...
...Plunkitt: On August 29th I read a very intelligent and, I must add, forward-leaning essay by Dr...
...Remember the Whales, Ramsey Clark Dear Ramsey Baby: Aren't you a corker...
...And how do we get them to the polls...
...Peace and Freedom, George McGovern Dear Senator McGovern: Finally I find a New Politics proposal in the public interest...
...Stone argued cogently and visionarily that it was only through "begrudged evolution" that Americans ever gave rights "to the insane, the blacks, aliens and Indians...
...I have read about your campaign, and I want you to know I favor what you are doing...
...You don't want to attract votes...
...Are you willing to meet the challenge of the 1970s...
...Christopher D. Stone, on the op-ed page of the New York Times, which began: "The notion of extending legal rights to environmental objects—oceans, rivers, forests—sounds absurd and unthinkable when first encountered...
...Crazy but true...
...Well, what of it...
...Will you join my campaign staff...
...I suggest you call Woody Allen...
...To come to the point, Dr...
...Too often you people forget about votes...
...How true...
...But you don't want me on your staff...
...If you can swing it, it will be as memorable an innovation as when Mayor Daley and Senator Lyndon Johnson enfranchised the residents of several reputable cemeteries back in 1960...
...you want to attract television cameramen and such...
...The idea of attracting the votes of trees is a capital innovation in democratic theory, as I see it...
Vol. 8 • November 1974 • No. 2
