Diary of a Mad Lover
Avey, John
John Avey: Diary of a Mad Lover Wednesday July 5, 1972 Dear Diary, I am in love with the New York Times. There, I've said it. I know that older and wiser heads say we're wrong for each other, but...
...Those who don't know my sweety will say that a news story isn't the same as an editorial, and that we shouldn't allow ourselves to apply to the Times opinions of those quoted in its news stories...
...On to page four...
...The South Vietnamese appeared to be doing pretty well, even for a bunch of cowards and fools...
...Here are the first two paragraphs of the story...
...The headline to the only story on the page is: QUANGTRI VILLAGERS TELL OF FLEEING BOMBING...
...Here's the Times, which in its happier days could bring about the downfall and the eventual assassination of President Diem, an authoritarian of the old school, now devoting all of its non-advertising space on page three to a story calling for an authoritarian regime in South Vietnam...
...And finally, just so you won't go away glad, the last two paragraphs tell of a bombing strike made by American (continued on page 22...
...Just so you don't get the idea that this anonymity is a gimmick, the Times gives you the straight inside dope: "A passing remark indicating any sympathy with Communist idea (sic) in this country is sufficient for summary deportation to the penal colony on Conson Island...
...Once you get past the headline, you find out that "some American and South Vietnamese officers" (my dream-girl never kisses and tells) say that the lack of enemy resistance can be attributed to "incessant bombing and shelling," while American bombers continue to "pulverize the landscape...
...But if you don't like that theory, another quickly follows: "an American officer in the field" (we must have the most anonymous officer corps in the history of warfare) says that the enemy is simply outflanking the South Vietnamese...
...Here is the lead paragraph: "They had lived for nearly two months under North Vietnamese occupation, but, they say, it was the constant pounding by American bombs and shells, not Communist rule, that finally drove them to desperation and to escape...
...But does this bad news of South Vietnamese gains upset her...
...In short, the South Vietnamese are using dirty tactics like air and artillary support, the rats...
...She's got class...
...Wow...
...I know that older and wiser heads say we're wrong for each other, but there's no use pretending anymore...
...Why do I love her...
...Well, the first-page story is continued on page four and my dream-boat is really pouring it on...
...There she is, having done in Diem (played by Louis Calhern) for being a dirty old authoritarian, now listening to the tough, embittered intellectual (played by John Garfield) and calling for a dirty new authoritarianism (played by Richard Loo...
...She looks (in my day-dreams) like one of those tough cookies Joan Crawford played so well in the old movies...
...Golly, Diary, it makes you feel goose-bumpy all over...
...But its when you get to page two that my sweety shows how to think positively...
...A passing remark...
...I love her because she is subtle...
...Such a revolution, some of them say privately, would be possible only under a strong authoritarian government of the type in power in Hanoi...
...Remember page one...
...Let me count the ways she has captured my foolish heart: I love her because she is optimistic...
...The Times has managed, in one headline and one paragraph of a story to (a) discredit the South Vietnamese counter offensive, (b) make the Americans appear to be the villains, (c) imply that if the Americans had not bombed and shelled, the villagers would have been content to stay under Communist domination...
...Besides there's little left of An Loc for either side to claim (so much for the thought that the South Vietnamese defense and recapture of An Loc was worthwhile...
...Right...
...I fully realize that even a glance at some voluptuous headline in a tabloid can turn my head...
...I know she'll find out about my past, about those youthful infatuations with the New York Daily News and the old Journal-American and even (God forgive me, it broke my mother's heart) my fling with the Daily Mirror...
...Harsh austerity, rigid enforcement of laws and compulsion to cooperate in rebuilding are viewed as vital...
...The North Vietnamese with relatively few men tie down an entire South Vietnamese division...
...The major story on the front page today concerns the gains made by South Vietnamese troops near Quangtri City...
...Only two pages ago, you thought that a crummy little South Vietnamese advance was going to throw my filly off her stride, but now you have to wonder how the South Vietnamese manage to put one foot in front of the other without stumbling...
...The fact that the regime in Hanoi is infinitely more brutal than that in Saigon doesn't bother her...
...She doesn't let herself get bogged down in petty detail...
...So you can't say the Times doesn't give you both sides of the story...
...Now I know that this must come as a big disappointment to the Times, because for longer than either of us care to remember, she has been telling the world that the South Vietnamese can't do anything right...
...Saigon, South Vietnam, July 4—a feeling is growing within South Vietnam's small educated elite that national morale has so collapsed that only a total revolution in the whole social structure offers hope of redemption...
...Jinkies...
...Now there might be some readers who think that since it is Saigon's troops who are making the successful military moves these days, the collapse of morale can only come in the Communist ranks...
...That's my girl and when I get enough money to buy a ring I'm going to pop the question...
...When I'm with the Times, I forget about cheap thrills and tawdry pleasures because I know this is the kind of love that will last...
...The sources for this new demand for authoritarianism are the usual anonymous ones: "a teacher," "a leading Saigon journalist" etc...
...When I read tough stuff like this, my Times seems so real to me...
...On page three there is even a better headline: SAIGON INTELLECTUALS SEE MORALE COLLAPSE...
...And why should she, if in one article she can combine (a) anti-Thieu sentiment among the intelligentsia, (b) a call for authoritarianism while at the same time stating that the current regime is such a police state that even the indication of a remark sympathetic to Communist ideas can lead to the penal colony, (c) a blast at the traffic in Saigon which offends an unnamed professor, his anonymity probably necessary to save him from the vengeance of the motor vehicle inspectors and (d) a chance to drag out all the anti-American feelings the Times finds so congenial...
...Shucks, if she were just an ordinary girl I'd agree, but she has this cute way of playing up certain kinds of news stories that just happen to fit into her schemes...
...Enemy pressure is increasing on the outposts of Hue...
...Either the South Vietnamese are cowards who gain only because Americans pulverize the landscape or they are fools who, as they advance, are being outflanked by a wily enemy...
...And all the passing remark has to do is to indicate sympathy...
...In the south, An Loc is being shelled by the North Vietnamese...
...I know she's a proud and haughty beauty, solvent beyond the dreams of misers and I am but a miserable wretch, debt-ridden and losing my hair...
...Like heck...
...But now, at last, I know that this is just a casual lust...
...Wrong...
...A girl as economical as that will sure make some lucky guy a good housewife...
Vol. 6 • November 1972 • No. 2
