LAST CALL: All That Conservative Jazz

Hillyer, Quin

8 2 T H E A M E R I C A N S P E C T A T O R N O V E M B E R 2 0 0 7 OMEBODY NEEDS TO THROW a jazz funeral for the conservativemovement. The uninitiated should understand that in New Orleans, a...

...If some bandleaders play the correct notes, and if the followers have ears to hear andmindstounderstandandarmsandlegstocarrythe load,theSecondLineforTheMovementcanbegin...
...The uninitiated should understand that in New Orleans, a jazz funeral is quite different from the ordinary final rites...
...Work.Communicate.Organize.Lead.And,mostof all, do a better job of nurturing and developing young talent.Therewillbemuchmoretobesaidonthisfront inthecomingmonths.Iftheexistingorganizations,and new ones that are forming, can do these things while continuing to improvise around the same basic tune, theremaysoonbecauseforcelebration.L A S TC A L L AllThatConservativeJazz Sby Quin Hillyer...
...Significantly, nothing in the jazz funeral tradition requiresanybodytomarchinlockstep.Allthatmatters is that everybody moves in the same general direction, andcelebratesthesamebasicthings...
...We know that federal spending and the size of government have grownoutofcontrolsince1998.Weknowthatlittlehas beendonetoadvancemarket-basedsolutionstovexing problems.Weknowthatethicshavebeenignored,even flouted...
...Still,thequestionsremain:Howcanconservatives better harmonize with each other...
...Of course, a plethora of existing organizations and publications already are doing yeoman's work to keep the conservative cause alive...
...Then, either as the procession reaches the cemetery or, after the coffin is laid in the ground, things change rapidly--into what is knownasthe"SecondLine"(thefirstline,ofmusicand of marchers, being the dirge and the slow, ponderous walk...
...Of course, the first step is acknowledging that The Movementisdead.Ifso,whereisthecoroner'sreport...
...After so often winning the minds of the American voters, how do we avoid losing the inside gameinWashington...
...To make their music work, what they need are merely a few grace notes and slightly better harmonization...
...We conservatives already know all this...
...Andreally,itshouldnotbetoodifficultforallofus to take the principles of limited government, free markets,astrongdefense,andtime-testedvaluesandapply them to this world of the 21st century...
...Forensic tests showfingerprintsonneckbelongtoWashingtonelected officials of the clan known as the Right Pretenders, mostly of the sub-clan known as Republicans...
...The Movement, transformed,canliveagain,inanevenbetterexistence.Thelast callcansimultaneouslybethefirstnoteofrenewal...
...Circumstantial evidence abounds, as well: Numerous observers report that the Right Pretenders treated the victim as an unwelcome parasite and heard them describing the victim as a nuisance occasionally to be fed red meat, or otherwise humored, but not as a lifesustaining force of its own...
...There's hope...
...The musicians play three quick, recognizable notes,andthenbreakintoahappy,up-temposongwhile themournerssuddenlybreakoutcolorfulumbrellasor handkerchiefs and start dancing and celebrating as if MardiGrashadjustarrived...
...Numerous observers also report that Right Pretenders attempted to survive on campaign donations and pork fat alone, while ignoringthesustenanceprovidedbyTheMovement...
...The idea is that the soul of the deceased has finally ascendedintoheaven.Nooccasion,ofcourse,couldpossiblybemorejoyous.Themanisdead;longlivetheman...
...How can we keep right-leaning elected officials from becoming Right Pretenders...
...It is in that sense that the conservative movement needssuchaceremony.TheMovementaswehaveknown it since the early 1960s has died...
...But wait...
...Well, let's quote from it: "...Cause of death appears to be suffocation due to strangulation...
...What happens is this: After the service,enroutefromthefuneralhomeorchurchtothe cemetery,musicianswalkinginfrontofabigprocession play a dirge, or several, while the mourners marching behind the casket cry and sniffle...
...And we know that The Movement has been unable to find one particular leader who, Reagan-like, canleadit.Andsoon...
...After all, traditional jazz is defined as collective improvisation around a basic tune, with a strongregularbackbeattodriveitforward...

Vol. 40 • November 2007 • No. 9


 
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