LAST CALL: Double Trouble

Mitchell, Amy K.

8 2 T H E A M E R I C A N S P E C T A T O R M A R C H 2 0 0 7 James Bond on Jack's Turf: Taunts Bauer Again, Calls Him"Rubbish"--NewYorkTimesheadline February30,2007 FTER MONTHS OF...

...Sheadded,"Thisisnot,andneverwas,acompetition...
...Poll numbers, however, suggest that Bond islosingfavor,evenamonghisstrongestdemographic, the prep school educated Alpha male set...
...detention facilities in Guantanamo Bay, Cuba, this "spy war" is all too real...
...Oprah Winfrey, or Oprah, as she is popularly known...
...Brits know about a stiff upper lip," he said, "and Commander Bond will show Mr...
...In a rare evening edition of the Guardian, 007 snappedback,"Icangetdownanddirtywiththebestof them, too...
...I believe in God.Ibelieveintheloveofawoman.Ibelievethatgood always triumphs over evil, and I believe in ice hockey...
...The Bondleaning EU and ICC are considering sending "food troops"tothebasetoensurethatreligiouslyordained, andnutritious,mealsareinfactstillbeingserved...
...At U.S...
...Detainees are terrifiedthatthecelebritized"torturetactics"championed by Mr...
...8 2 T H E A M E R I C A N S P E C T A T O R M A R C H 2 0 0 7 James Bond on Jack's Turf: Taunts Bauer Again, Calls Him"Rubbish"--NewYorkTimesheadline February30,2007 FTER MONTHS OF TRANSATLANTIC BICKERING and tabloid name-calling, the public feud between Jack Bauer and James Bond has taken on an ugly new coloring...
...Andwiththat,thefistsbegantoflyagain.Bondhad toengageanextrasecuritydetailtoescorthimfromthe CBSStudiosthroughthegauntletofangryBauersympathizersarrayedoutside...
...I don't need fancy pants cars, watches, and the rest of it todomyjob,"Mr.Bauerintoned...
...Bauer just what that means...
...Despite mounting pressure from both governments to "hold the high ground," neither man appears willing to resist upping the ante...
...Bondmerelysmiledhisfamous "comehither"smile...
...To respond to Bond's accusations, Mr...
...But," Oprah prodded, "now that Congress is cutting funding to Homeland Security, won't that affect your ability to get your job done in order to protect us...
...In London, Conservative Party leader and Calvin Klein model David Cameron struck a more partisan note...
...The battle for espionage bragging rights, now affecting U.S.-UK relations, has become a classic barroom brawl, as the clandestine torturetacticschampionedbybothprincipalsisbandied about in television spots, print articles, and YouTube videos the world over, aided and abetted by the New MediaYouth...
...To bolster supportfortheMI6agent,theBBCisputtingtogether aspecialreportentitled,"MenoftheShadows:Whythe BritishProvideMoreComfortsandResourcestoSpecialForcesThantheYanks,"toaironBBCPrime,achannel not available in the United States, but popular in Indiaandpointsfartherwest...
...Bauer might tsunami their peaceful Caribbean retreat.AstatementreleasedthroughanACLU-courtappointed-human-rights-free-of-charge lawyer said, "We prisoners of conscience worry we will lose our three daily, politically correct squares in an effort to boost the tough guy image of Jack Bauer...
...In an effort to calm the dispute, U.S...
...He said of the quarrel with Bond, "I am just a simple man with simple tastes...
...Secretary of StateCondoleezzaRiceissuedastatementyesterday calling on the two men "to begin acting like gentlemenagain.Theircountriesexpectacertaindegreeof decorum from them, not adolescent temper tantrums...
...Bauer immediately booked himself on a special world telecast sit-down with Ms...
...Commander Bond madeapre-emptiveappearanceontheLateShowwith David Letterman Monday night, one day after being snubbed at the 79th Annual Oscars in Los Angeles.AskedbyLettermanifhewasMr.Bauer'smoralaswell astacticalsuperior,Bondresponded,"Idon'ttrytohave itbothways,Dave.Imakedecisionsandletthechipsfall wheretheymay"--anonetoosubtleallusiontoMr.Bauer'sratherconflicteddecision-makingpatterns.Letterman clearly understood, telling his guest, "That would implyyouthinkJackBauerhasn'tdefendedhiscountry tothebestofhisability...
...Asthefeudrageson,pro-Bauerandpro-BondwebsitesandblogsarepoppingupallovertheInternet,with WallStreethearingrumorsthatshouldtheclashcontinue,GoogleorMySpacewillattempttobuyoutamajority ononesideinordertocapitalizeontheawesomeadvertising opportunities opening up as the entire world watchesandwaitsforthenextblowtoland.L A S TC A L L DoubleTrouble Aby Amy K. Mitchell...

Vol. 40 • March 2007 • No. 2


 
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