LAST CALL: One to Rile Them All
Lott, Jeremy
LAST CALL JEREMY LOTT One to Rile Them All D IRECTOR PETER JACKSON spent seven years of his life planning, shooting, and editing the Lord of the Rings movies, so one day of mine didn't seem like...
...And when the bruised, winnowed army of men marches from Gondor to the gates of Mordor, in a suicide mission to buy the hobbits more time, you hope, in spite of yourself...
...LAST CALL JEREMY LOTT One to Rile Them All D IRECTOR PETER JACKSON spent seven years of his life planning, shooting, and editing the Lord of the Rings movies, so one day of mine didn't seem like too much to ask...
...At the risk of scotching any future movie critic cred: wow...
...It would take a new movie to bring some of that old magic back...
...We bought tickets weeks in advance, carted in an extra television and fiddled with wires so that we could simulcast in the kitchen and living rooms, stocked up on vittles and beverages, and had pizza flown in from Giordano's in Chicago...
...I'd seen the films too many times: most of the twists and turns had been burnt permanently onto my brain...
...But, as I discovered midway through the first movie, even the shorter version wasn't going to do it for me...
...When the signal flares are lit, stretching hundreds of miles through mountain passes and summoning aid to Gondor, you want to cheer...
...The multiplex kept expanding the number of screens until 14 of the 22 were sold out for a showing, in the middle of the week, that would stretch past three in the morning...
...In the days leading up to the occasion, we wrestled with the vexing question that must have confronted all Rings purists: theatrical releases or extended versions...
...We simply weren't up to digesting that large a spectacle so early in the morning...
...In my auditorium, at least a half dozen people sported elf ears...
...The concession area was a pandemonium, and the theaters were heated several degrees warmer than usual—near as I can tell, to keep the audience from rioting...
...The crowd that usually reclines at my Virginia townhouse—a smattering of economists, college students, and eccentric editors of right-wing magazines—held an all day Festival of the Ring, leading up to the opening of the third and final installment at midnight...
...The opening scene was annoying and the end dragged on a bit but Jackson really made Tolkien's tale come to life...
...Jeremy Lott is assistant managing editor of The American Spectator...
...My group arrived at the theater over two hours early and the line already stretched out and around the side of the building...
...there were a few white, flowing Arwen costumes, and one guy down in the eye-blur section had a T-shirt with the lettering "Frodo Lives...
...We exited the theater to face rains every bit as nasty as those before the muddy siege of Helms Deep, and a parking lot that took ages of men to empty out...
...that this is far enough, buddy...
...66 THE AMERICAN SPECTATOR FEBRUARY 2004...
...but mostly circled around the movie...
...Charity and brevity won out...
...Of all the scenes, the only one that was anywhere near as powerful as the first half dozen viewings was the standoff at the footbridge leading out of Mines of Moria, where a very tired Gandalf (played by Sir Ian McKellen) plants himself and his ancient staff in front of the Balrog demon and makes it understood ("You shall not pass...
...On the drive home, we tried the usual uber geek post-game analysis (e.g., the stunt doubles were less than satisfactory and, uh, what was with those subtitles...
...Some of the likely guests hadn't seen the first two movies, and the prospect of tacking on another hour to them, already a six-hour stretch, sounded less...festive than what we were trying for...
...A cheer went up when the nearly endless previews finished and The Return of the King began...
...As Frodo (the very youthful Elijah Wood) wanders through Shelob's forest of spider webs and bodies, your fingers feel acrid and sticky...
...And even this scene is robbed of some of its impact by knowing the monster will drag the old wizard down into the abyss...
...No expense was spared...
Vol. 37 • February 2004 • No. 1
