Last Call: Hymn to Him

Pleszczynski, Wladyslaw

Hymn to Him | W , _ ~ l / e f • I llJ by ~Vladyslaw Pleszczynski Los Angeles ONE THING TO REMEMBER ABOUT THE DEMOCRATIC National Convention's opening night is that Hillary Clinto~...

...GRANTED, THE GUY IS GOOD, REALLY GOOD (as if that meant something...
...By rewarding private stewardship we can counter gloom-and-doom environmentalism with optimistic environmentalism...
...Then the 1968 election "took America on a far different, more divisive course...
...c)2000 Philip Morris ]nc...
...By comparison, Martin Scorsese's dizzying back corridor scene in GoodfelIas was a mere hop, skip, and jump...
...We're also running national advertising campaigns: one that encourages kids not to smoke, and one that urges parents to talk to their kids about not smoking...
...78 O c t o b e r 2 o o o _9 The American Spectator Commonsense Environmentalism C ommonsense environmentalists would love to hear a president pledge that, when his or her term as president is over, land, wildlife, water, and air will be better cared for...
...IF IN THE FINAL ANALYSIS IT'S REALLY ALL BEEN about Clinton, it probably doesn't matter any longer whether Gore succeeds Him or not...
...Our effort includes support for school-based programs, one of which has been recognized for prevention excellence by the National Centers for Disease Control and Prevention TOBACCO TODAY one in a series and other national organizations...
...Not only was the video all about Bill, but it was the first time, as a friend remarked, that a president has narrated a video tribute to himself...
...He had made possible the longest stretch of sustained economic growth since the period 196168, which was, ahem, also run by Democrats...
...Has a U.S...
...There is no single, easy answer to this issue...
...URGING AMERICANS TO THINK HARD, FEEL DEEPLY, and choose wisely, Clinton signed off...
...Without Clinton, win or lose, we lose...
...president ever uttered something so maudlin about himself as, "Fifty-four years ago this week, I was born in a summer storm to a young widow in a small Southern town...
...Current regulations make the environment a liability rather than an asset...
...HE TOO WAS in love with what he had to say...
...Just so you know how far back Clinton's commitments go, he told the convention that "I have waited over 30 years to see my country once again in a position to build the future of our dreams for our children...
...To be conservative is to be a conservationist...
...Terry L. Anderson Kids should not smoke...
...Though the rules strictly forbid nonjournalists from sitting in the press area, an exception was made for television's most famous sex columnist, Sarah Jessica Parker...
...The hot star of HBO's "Sex and the City" spent the entire speech several rows below our perch snapping away at Clinton, even changing film at one point...
...Nor should they have access to tobacco products...
...Not only did Clinton declare on convention Monday there's nothing left to achieve, he also made it clear no one can replace Him...
...SOMEONE MENTIONED THAT THE ONLY TIME Clinton received a louder reception was at the last White House Correspondents' Dinner...
...But doing so requires paying attention to the same commonsense principles that apply to other programs, namely, positive incentives for the private sector and fiscal pragmatism for government...
...6) Set realistic environmental standards and reward firms that go beyond compliance...
...No doubt the president and his typists consider his words to be weightier than those of mere mortals...
...A commonsense conservationist approach should (1) support funding for land and water conservation, not to buy more land but to better manage what we have...
...Call it a postmodern Napoleonic moment...
...It's also the right thing to do on behalf of our shareholders and our adult customers...
...We've dedicated significant resources--over $100 million last year--toward initiatives based on the key components listed above...
...CLINTON WOULD HAVE UNDERSTOOD...
...Clinton has supported private land regulation under the Endangered Species Act, despite evidence that it doesn't work...
...Earlier speakers also used that screen, and from the press area behind the stage one could see the words on it rolling nonstop during their remarks...
...Clinton and his admirers evidently can't get enough of Him...
...But even Nixon didn't sigh about how "my hair's a little grayer and my wrinkles deeper...
...It was thus understandable that many a journalist in my vicinity had friends take his or her picture during the speech in a way that would have the speaking Clinton appearing in the background...
...Hymn to Him | W , _ ~ l / e f • I llJ by ~Vladyslaw Pleszczynski Los Angeles ONE THING TO REMEMBER ABOUT THE DEMOCRATIC National Convention's opening night is that Hillary Clinto~ didn't introduce Bill Clinton...
...When Clinton spoke, the screen stopped cold time and again as he ad-libbed new introductions, midsections, and conclusions to many an inspired paragraph...
...We don't need more national parks and forests, we need better ones...
...Okay, maybe Richard Nixon, but by then he was on his last legs...
...Rather than focusing on detailed technological regulations, private firms should be free to achieve the standards the best way they know how...
...For more information about our youth smoking prevention efforts, visit our Web site at www.philipmorrisusa.com...
...Spending on Vietnam and the Great Society simultaneously had nothing to do with it...
...We believe there is broad agreement on this important issue...
...We are spending another $100 million against these initiatives in 2000...
...Four passing mentions in the first two-thirds of the speech, then a few paragraphs of solid endorsement, which included an odd reference to Tipper Gore, who has "done something for me, for the cause of mental health...
...It seems she's found a new Mr...
...As part of our commitment to play a role in reducing underage smoking, we have created a Youth Smoking Prevention Department whose sole purpose is to develop and support programs to help reduce the incidence of youth smoking...
...Timber harvests have fallen from 12 billion board feet to 3 billion board feet...
...A local program in the TarPamlico Sound of North Carolina is cleaning up water at one-tenth the estimated cost under EPA mandates...
...Philip Morris USA www.philipmorrisusa.com...
...2) Support legislation allowing qualified environmental groups to issue tax-exempt bonds and use the proceeds to purchase and manage forestlands on a sustainable basis...
...Bill Clinton introduced Bill Clint o n - i n a video all about Him, in between the Clintons' two speeches...
...At Philip Morris USA, we are working to help find answers...
...Many experts suggest the best way to address underage smoking is through broad-based, integrated approaches that include communications, education, community involvement and access prevention...
...Everyone has a stake in solving the problem of underage smoking...
...But for reasons known only to himself and his psychiatrist, ad-libber Clinton inserted "WHENEVER YOU THINK ABOUT ME" between "remember" and "keep...
...3) Support continuing a program passed by the current Congress that allows federal land agencies to charge higher fees and keep the proceeds for reinvestment where they are collected...
...He favors breaching dams on the Snake River system, despite scientists who say it won't help the fate of salmon...
...Contrast this vision with the current administration...
...4) Make funds available to environmental groups on a competitive basis to purchase or lease private or public lands to save endangered species habitat...
...His administrations had accomplished so much there was nothing really left to accomplish...
...To help prevent minors' access to tobacco products, we support and help fund the Coalition for Responsible Tobacco Retailing's nationwide "We Card" retailer education and training program...
...This effort has helped train over 500,000 retail store employees to reject attempted purchases by minors...
...Remember, keep putting people first," the printed version of his brief last paragraph began...
...Under Clinton, the costs of EPA regulations have grown to 2.4 percent of GDP, or $3,000 a year for a family of four...
...Environmental Defense is attempting to contract with Utah ranchers to provide habitat for prairie dogs, and the Oregon Water Trust is leasing water to enhance water flows for salmon...
...The current administration used executive orders to turn the federal estate from a land of many uses to a land of no uses, setting aside national monuments against the wishes of states and their representatives and locking up 30-40 million acres in additional wilderness...
...If you don't have internet access, please call 1-877-PM USAWEB...
...The crowd especially loved the scene of Clinton leaving the video and hammily walking live through an interminable maze of arena corridors, which it could follow on the overhead monitors...
...IN THIS HYMN TO HIM, HOW MUCH ROOM \~AS there forA1 Gore...
...He rattled and rolled off list after check list of his achievements: In his view the paralysis and rancor of 1992 gave way to unparalleled prosperity, security, harmony, unity, humanity, longevity, and freedom...
...Working to help prevent youth smoking is important and it's the right thing to do for our company and for our employees...
...To this he added two paragraphs about Gore and Joe Lieberman, both of them depicted as subscribing to policies he set in motion...
...Environmental progress in the twenty-first century will require harnessing the power of the private sector...
...He won't leave until we recognize Him as our inspiration...
...What's more, while for others the screen showed words in the normal upper and lower case, for Clinton they appeared in all-caps...
...AND THE JAM-PACKED ST_~PLES CENTER LOVED IT, giving Clinton an ovation that would have blown the roof off a more shoddily built arena...
...BUT WHEN IT CAME TIME FOR THE FINAL STRETCH, Gore disappeared for good, never to be mentioned again...
...At Philip Morris USA, we are committed to dealing responsibly with the complex problem of underage smoking...
...At the podium he was looking not only at transparent monitors to his left and right, bnt at a large screen straight ahead beneath the bank of cameras on the other side of the floor...
...5) Follow the lead of states that clean up Superfund sites faster and cheaper and encourage entrepreneurial approaches to the brownfields problem...
...He told us so Himself...

Vol. 33 • October 2000 • No. 8


 
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