Current Wisdom

Jackasses, Assorted

"Current Wisdom" Dallas Morning News The welcome voice of a pre-feminist American gal in DMN's letters section: I think it is a darn shame...

...What is a woman to do when she needs the oil checked, the battery water checked, and air put in her tires...
...Since the mid-193o's I have had two role models: Eleanor Roosevelt and Marian Anderson...
...It was one of your flight attendants, she was a beautiful woman...
...SEPTEMBER 29, 1996] Our Town (New York, New York) The Clinton mindset spreads even to one of the Big Apple's most famous commercial sheets: NEXT TIME YOU SEE SOMEONE URINATING ON YOUR BUILDING, MAKE SURE TO THANK THEM FOR HELPING TO WASH AWAY GRAFFITI...
...As for the infamous marijuana cigarette, Mr...
...Morris is the travel writer, Richards the tennis player, Bornstein the performer and author of Gender Outlaw, and Jorgensen the first transsexual to undergo widely publicized sex-reassignment surgery...
...And everywhere that Mary went...
...Louis and dutifully returns with a particularly gaseous sampling of his Hot Air: Recalling his meeting with the families of those killed in the TWA Flight 8oo crash, he said: "This woman came up to me and she showed me a picture of her perfectly beautiful daughter, who was on this plane...
...but what my job is, is to remember this boy and to make sure that everyone like him that's still around has a great country and a greater country to live in when we start a new century, in a new millennium, in a completely new world, changing the way we work and live...
...That's right-they're male-to-female transsexuals...
...Karl Marx steps the ever befuddled Garry Wills, bleep bleeping for the noble poor...
...SEPTEMBER 30, 1996] New York Times Book Review What our sainted president did in his first year at Oxford, as reported by Douglas Brinkley whilst reviewing the susceptible Martin Walker's compendium of Clinton legends, The President We Deserve: In his [Clinton's] first year of Oxford alone, he also found time to read 30o books thoroughly, Mr...
...They talk about the power of Mrs...
...but, ha ha, we rich guys roll on, making vast fortunes, drinking champagne, cavorting with Marie Antoinette, and burning back issues of the New York Review o f Books, lest the noble poor read them and smarten up: By the standards of any other society, or of reason itself, the great and growing disparity of wealth in America is a form of successful class warfare waged against the poor and the moderately well-off...
...Although service stations are required to employ less help, I haven't noticed the price of gasoline going down...
...AUGUST 29-SEPTEMBER 5, 1996] The Times (San Mateo, California) At the incomparable University of California, Berkeley, Shakespeare is surpassed, and Yeats eclipsed: With hundreds of poetry lovers anticipating florid, inspiring writing, UC-Berkeley anthropologist Alan Dundes wasn't going to disappoint...
...She's already acting like the first lady...
...poet laureate Robert Hass, fell silent as Dundes spoke: "Mary had a little lamb...
...Give up...
...and I'll remember that our obligation is to all those little boys that can still stand in front of the fireplace on holidays and have those pictures taken...
...UC-Berkeley poet and activist June Jordan, who read two poems from Arab-American writers, said it was unfair for Arab-Americans to be despised and stereotyped...
...If you would like to join this group of 21st-century pioneers -pioneering and colonizing new continents of compassion in the heart and mind write to: Dr...
...Our country's success is well-founded in the work ethic of all people, including all races and religions (not just Christians...
...I was told there are none, and that in the future there will be even fewer full-service stations anywhere...
...The shock of finding a Republican outside the Democratic convention is followed by a disturbingly pleasant sensation...
...Republican...
...Evelyn Nolt Carmel Valley [SEPTEMBER 6,1996] The American Spectator November r 9 9 6 93...
...I've just come from doing it, and my clothes smell like gasoline...
...Renee Richards...
...Leslie Dow Rockport, MA [SEPTEMBER 1996] NewYorkTimes Columnist Maureen Dowd follows Our President to St...
...He fertilized the soil...
...SEPTEMBER 11, 1996] Elle Another intellectual giant of the Yuppie persuasion declaims on the correspondence page of a leading monthly: Charlie Peters Is A Big Fat Idiot Re "Charlie Peters's Finishing School" [by Eileen Daspin, June]: This guy is scary...
...Created in 1992 by Ruth and Eugene Love of Silver Spring, Md., to honor Mrs...
...Now he's a gay man...
...If she and her party think we average Americans will again be thankful for the crumbs thrown to us by the righteous royal agenda the Republicans are proposing, they would be well advised to look at history...
...The longer I hang around McCain the harder it is to fight the feeling that just maybe I'm...
...We have not had an acceptable rhetoric for expressing social discontent against the rich since President Roosevelt's mild, meliorist language about "economic royalists" in the depths of the Depression...
...She fed him castor oil...
...AUGUST 29,1996] New York Review of Books Out of the pages of the late Dr...
...C U R R E N T W I S D O M ,m ,JV71 --i''1'' .,,rrrr ,r;?fffrr-rI'0,1 Dallas Morning News The welcome voice of a pre-feminist American gal in DMN's letters section: I think it is a darn shame that women have to pump their own gasoline...
...If Dole were elected, she'd most certainly be running the country...
...The first time I put gasoline in my car, I inadvertently left my hand over the lever after I had removed it from the tank...
...The captivated standing-room-only crowd, including U.S...
...I spent one afternoon calling to find where there is a full-service station in my area...
...And she gave me a picture of this blondheaded lo-year-old kid, standing by a fireplace...
...Harrison isn't...
...And if we do that, this country is going to be just fine...
...and her perfectly beautiful grandson, who was also on the plane...
...OCTOBER 3,1996] NewYorkTimes Sports reporter Timothy W. Smith, whilst reporting on a perfectly apolitical Green Bay Packers game, suddenly and inexplicably belches out a few puffs of the Kultursmog: With Favre working over the Philadelphia Eagles' secondary on Monday night, lobbing perfect passes to receiver Robert Brooks, Lambeau Field began to look like the front yard of the Kennedy compound at Hyannisport on a lazy summer afternoon...
...Gas continued to run on the concrete, creating what I considered to be a hazard...
...Now name one female-to-male transsexual...
...Last week we were fed a large dose of royalty with the presence of Elizabeth Dole at the Republican Convention...
...Kate Bornstein...
...Harrison spent the first 34 years of his life female, 15 of those as a lesbian...
...And she told me a story about how this beautiful lo-year-oldboy had walked away from a big opportunity that he had because the people wanted him to say something bad about me-he was a kind of a model and they wanted him to be in some sort of an ad, or something...
...Clinton really didn't inhale: he was allergic to smoke...
...I'm beginning to understand the war that must occur inside a 14-year-old boy who discovers he is more sexually attracted to boys than to girls...
...On my way back from the ghetto, in the desolate no-man's land created by a phalanx of police officers between the Democratic convention and the poor, I bump into Senator John McCain...
...As the crowd laughed, Dundes fired off other nursery rhymes, limericks and even bathroom graffiti...
...He's as clear as a glass of spring water about his change, but more bubbly...
...It's dangerous and frightening that people unknowingly accept personal political agendas under the guise of journalism...
...SEPTEMBER 12, 1996] Monterey County Herald Ecstasy on the pages of an esteemed county gazette: Did you know there was a Hillary Rodham Clinton Fan Club...
...And I looked at that child and I thought to myself, I can't do anything to bring him back...
...A donation of $5 brings you a lifetime membership...
...Rosemary George Straley, 5708 Fairway Lane, Santa Rosa, CA 95403...
...Would I were 50 years younger and able to be of some real use in opening up this most important of the new frontiers of the new century-the New Frontier of Compassion for All-expressing itself practically as adequate, nourishing food for all, adequate housing and shelter for all, health care and education for all...
...Clinton for her (then) 2o years of work on behalf of women and children while pursuing her multiplicity of careers-working woman, wife, mother, homemaker-and for several of those years first lady of Arkansas, the Hillary Rodham Clinton Fan Club is now international with 20,000 members in 138 chapters including those in Denmark, England, India, Japan, and Chile...
...Jan Morris...
...It's clear that his "teaching" merely involves instructing young journalists to become propagandists while pretending to be mainstream...
...What a joy to add a third: Hillary Rodham Clinton...
...So whether you're 18 or 8o, short, tall, beautiful, ugly, fat, skinny, odd or normal, you'll always fit in at Crunch...
...Walker tells us, on an impressive number of varied subjects...
...The Republicans have crucified and continue to crucify the Clintons, particularly Hillary...
...We will not be dictated to by a single party or religious group...
...Let me introduce you to David Harrison...
...He's as bad as Rush Limbaugh...
...But so devoid of a left is this country that even to mention such inequities is branded as "class baiting," and therefore un-American...
...Walker insists that Mr...
...SEPTEMBER 22, 1996] Morning Call (Allentown, Pennsylvania) Evidence of extensive hallucinogenic drug use in progressive Allentown: It was just over zoo years ago that we shed the oppression of the British royalty...
...Ann Yates, Dallas [AUGUST 30,1996] The Georgia Straight (Vancouver, British Columbia) Exciting cultural news from Renaissance Vancouver: Christine Jorgensen...
...I'll keep that picture with me until the day I die...
...Recognize those names...
...At CRUNCH FITNESS, we believe everyone should feel accepted no matter who they are or how they choose to live their lives...
...William E Hess Patricia C. Hess Macungie [AUGUST 20,1996] 92 November 1996 . The American Spectator Arkansas Democrat-Gazette From the folks back home, Boy Clinton suffers the cruellest cut of all: Bill Clinton on Kenneth Starr can sound an awful lot like the American Spectator on Bill Clinton...
...Well folks, beware-the power behind the Republican throne is Elizabeth Dole-certainly not her very inarticulate husband...
...Confused...
...I didn't...
...Visit us on the internet: hltp:Ilwww.dreamshop.com/crunch...
...He's not a responsible journalist, he's a zealot and an extremist...
...Clinton...
...SEPTEMBER 7,1996] New Republic Bizarre confessions from Michael Lewis, amuck at the Democratic National Circus: August 29: I had been investigating what turned out to be a false rumor that the city of Chicago had renovated only the sides of the Henry Horner housing project visible from the United Center...
...And if you come in or call between now and September 15th, we're offering an amazing discount on our membership fee...

Vol. 29 • November 1996 • No. 11


 
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