The Continuing Crisis

THE CONTINUING CRISIS •Month chases month and suddenly 1987 is a cadaver. December has expired, but not without Campaign '88 getting the Candidate of Ideas back into the race. On December 15 the...

...Rick Latham, an interior decorator who wore a brunette beehive wig and a furry hat along with an acrylic fur coat, black stockings, and black-and-white pumps...
...Time wounds all heels...
...At Remington's, a saloon on Capitol Hill, the Raisa Gorbachev Look-Alike Contest was won by Mr...
...In the United Kingdom, the extraordinary Lord Belstead reviewed the Wildlife and Countryside Act and overruled all challengers by placing on the protected species list the wildcat, the pine marten, and the much beloved dormouse, for years an essential ingredient in soups at many of London's finest men's clubs...
...Mr...
...In South Korea's first election in more than sixteen years, the system worked and ruling party candidate Mr...
...Galileo is vindicated...
...Deaver's defense was acute alcoholism...
...Zipkin pummeled the boor with a handbag or another nearby deadly instrument...
...In Williamsburg, Virginia, campus police at the College of William and Mary arrested Mr...
...Michael Pascucci, 37, suffered arrest and humiliation when he left the Fidelity Bank of south Philadelphia, which he had just robbed, and walked smack into a 35-mile-an-hour wind that blasted his loot into the hands of waiting gendarmes...
...After many years of modestly suggesting that the Readers' Guide to Periodical Literature was remiss in not including this great journal in its list of periodicals, it has agreed to include us beginning in March...
...Reagan to be Secretary of Wealth, Fashion, and Interior Decor when that agency is raised to cabinet level, and if Mr...
...Of a sudden, all over the Republic poets and essayists, scholars and Renaissance Men were set adream...
...In London's Arrow Park Hospital two surgeons whilst at work in the operating room turned on each other and engaged in such furious fisticuffs that one, Dr...
...the legendary songstress in pursuit of "economic and touristic benefits," according to Mayor Raffaele Santini...
...Yet some of us hastened to apply the edifying illuminations of frivolity...
...and the Chevron oil company has ordered handicapped scouts to desist from selling Christmas trees near one of its stations because the trees conceal the station's location...
...The goal was seen by President Oscar Arias of Costa Rica as contrary to his Nobel Prize-winning plan...
...Hart may yet get to sleep alone in the White House...
...Finally, there is good news for readers of The American Spectator and for those who hang out in our nation's libraries...
...Thatcher in England, Mikhail Gorbachev, the Soviet JFK, flew in to our nation's capital to sign a treaty eliminating intermediate range missiles from Europe and to show Washingtonians his swell new Italian suit and suave ways...
...Roh The Woo won 36 percent of the vote...
...but he called no witnesses, believing perhaps that his drunkenness was plain to anyone familiar with his public life in Washington or the news reports of his forthcoming Washington memoir wherein he brags of having banished conservatives from Mr...
...Three students have rebelled, one explaining that "it would be like a pet, and to take your pet and have it killed is not a comfortable thing for me...
...Hence, the exotic east may have presented candidate Hart with a perfect running mate...
...The Democratic sachems are not happy to observe that all such an obvious humbug had to do was reannounce his candidacy and hesto presto he is neck and neck in the polls with the theretofore Democratic front runner, the Rev...
...Now that the Hon...
...Ortega II, announced plans to create a 600,000-man army...
...Plato is with us...
...Jerry Brown has come home to California fully intent on returning to politics, and do you know where he returned from...
...Jerome Zipkin of the New York tenement fortune...
...A Zen Buddhist retreat in Japan...
...That line did not go over very well with Mrs...
...Benito Mussolini Jackson...
...In Port-auPrince, Haitian officials canceled elections after at least thirty-four voters perished in the democratic orgies...
...There is, withal, more good news for the Republicans...
...Washington, a morbidly humorless town, naturally accorded Mr...
...George Jacobs, was admitted to the hospital's casualty unit...
...But there is really no hard evidence to indicate that the Russian charmer is not a woman, and Mikhail does have a peculiar walk...
...Alexander M. Haig, Jr., by far the most entertaining of the Republican candidates, has been referring to the Democratic candidates as "the sad-eyed six...
...one, Mr...
...The life of the mind grows stronger...
...Zipkin's path in the near future do not be surprised to hear that Mr...
...Gorbachev's very presence served as an incomparable euphoriant for President Ronald Reagan and all his critics to the left...
...Zipkin is being groomed by Mrs...
...Reagan or with her confidante, Mr...
...Need we say more...
...Hart is in the race, will it be "the sad-eyed six and the glassy-eyed one...
...Howard Phillips of the Conservative Caucus, went so far as to call the President "a useful idiot for Kremlin propaganda...
...RET THE AMERICAN SPECTATOR FEBRUARY 1988 7...
...Miss Leah Zuch, the executive director of the Cambridge Committee for Responsible Research, an animal rights group, adjudged the project "disgusting...
...After having tea with Mrs...
...Mr...
...Tony 0. Mitchell after he was spotted at a women's athletic field running naked, or at least partially naked...
...The Hon...
...Gary Hart announced his reentry into the Democratic presidential race for the selfless reason that no one was enunciating ideas of high-grade cerebration...
...Oh, you can't," they squealed as they saw their moment in history transformed into burlesque...
...He had a knife...
...No one knows on whose side the local proabortion groups might have sided...
...The renowned Miss Ritsuko Taho instructed students in her Fundamentals of Sculpture to adopt a chicken (Gallus domesticus), watch it be slaughtered, cook and consume it, 6 THE AMERICAN SPECTATOR FEBRUARY 1988 and then use the bones in creating sculpture...
...In Satellite Beach, Florida Mr...
...His critics to the right were dour...
...At Harvard University philistinism has triumphed over art...
...Mozart is restored...
...Alas, there are rumblings offstage...
...In Pacentro, Italy, the home of Miss Madonna's grandparents, city fathers are plotting to raise a "bronze bust" of...
...December 7, 1987 became the United States' second day in infamy...
...James Baldwin, the novelist whose work essayed American malevolence toward the poor and the black, died in the south of France in rather plush circumstances given the gravamen of his oeuvre...
...Reagan's presence...
...On December 15 the Hon...
...and, as speculated upon here last summer, Mrs...
...Michael Deaver was convicted of lying to a federal grand jury, and faces a maximum of fifteen years' imprisonment and a $22,000 fine, though enlightened opinion favors a firing squad...
...That's an awful way to think of art," she said...
...This is the goofball condition of the Democratic party, and so the sachems conspire to undo the Egg Head of the Rockiestwill be but another of mankind's sins against philosophy...
...Gorbachev's visit the utmost solemnity, notwithstanding the fact that the Soviets were having a ball at Washington's expense...
...Gary Cray-croft, a mail carrier, was censured by his superiors for committing an "unsafe act resulting in personal injury" after he leaped into an automobile that was rolling uncontrollably toward an elderly woman and two gasoline pumps...
...Phillips crosses Mr...
...Yet the jury convicted him anyway, and soon it will be off to Lompoc for the congenital louse...
...Our Gary is back...
...Earlier in the month, all twelve Republican and Democratic candidates for the presidency met at the Kennedy Center in the greatest political debate in the history of the world, though the Nielsen ratings hardly hiccupped...
...He is a loyalist...
...Over at the West Wing of the White House this magazine's editor, when asked by three fellow writers invited with him to an "exclusive" interview with the President what he would ask the President, turned the writers' eyes into gigantic radar screens of horror by answering, "I intend to look the President right in the face and ask him precisely what evidence he has that Mikhail Gorbachev is not a woman...
...Swedish authorities again reported the incursion of foreign submarines into their territorial waters, and Nicaragua's minister of defense, Sr...

Vol. 21 • February 1988 • No. 2


 
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