Current Wisdom

Jackasses, Assorted

CURRENT WISDOM Salt Lake Tribune A cri de coeur from what sounds very much like a member of the Union of Concerned Scientists, alone and shivering in the Salt Lake Gulag: As displaced people from...

...Except among themselves, they can't share stories about how they spend their free time without incrimination...
...Many men don't look for the female rhythm because to them sex isn't about satisfying the female at all...
...Wake up...
...November 22, 1984] Los Angeles Times A 100 percent American pontificator clears his throat on the correspondence page of the Golden State's Times: I would like to protest the use of an adjective that seems to be applied to anyone in any event that is newsworthy who happens to be 60 years old or more...
...Historically, however, both candidates' political statements and party platforms have consistently failed to reflect the tremendous debt that they, and we, owe to animals and the obligations that this debt entails...
...has a lot of catching up to do...
...Most of all, I am ashamed that the majority of Americans are so easily fooled by President Reagan...
...A female student was approached by a white male who was masturbating with his penis in his hand...
...And, frankly, there is little chance of that...
...Especially by a bunch of well-meaning political amateurs...
...Could they be enlisted in this latest liberation movement...
...Saturday, thousands from this group and their supporters will line the streets of downtown Phoenix asking for "Unity and More in '84...
...She declined and returned to the library...
...The common, if cynical, wisdom maintains that animals don't vote, but the people who make a living by exploiting them do...
...I am ashamed of this country and what Ronald Reagan has done to the millions of poor people...
...That "elderly" man, with a previous self-image as a charismatic participant in the work of the world, from that time on may very well feel that others perceive him as ready for the ash heap...
...They feel forced to lie and find themselves feeling like an outsider in social groups because they can't contribute to the conversation...
...Alex Hershaft, forward-looker: The role of animals in the U.S...
...At 5 p.m...
...Four-fifths of the adult population in the country took part in discussing the 1977 Constitution of the USSR...
...In women's embrace of the romantic latino singers, you are just seeing the reality of our lives and the failure of our men to satisfy us or recognize our needs...
...October 22, 1984] Vegetarian Times Historical and political analysis from Dr...
...December 3, 1984] Time A mamushi from Louisville, Kentucky moves from the correspondence pages of the Nation to the correspondence pages of Time: Harry Britt says he has not found anyone who does not feel good about being an American right now...
...He asked her if she wanted to assist him...
...Perhaps someday they will wake up...
...The political activists who have revolutionized our attitudes toward blacks, the aged, the handicapped, gays, women and other oppressed segments of our society...
...This message may be elusive to male writers, for the male buildup to orgasm is better expressed by rock'n'roll...
...political process has been largely symbolic and superficial...
...They are in exact rhythm with a female's slow buildup to orgasm...
...Even Theodore Roosevelt's splinter party was named after an animal-the bull moose...
...The Democrats rally behind the donkey while the Republicans adore their elephant...
...Think of how demoralizing it can be...
...I am ashamed of the violence shown toward children, women and animals...
...Hardmana Midvale [December 3, 1984] The Coastland Times Manteo, North Carolina's paper of record observes the passing scene: On the recommendation of police chief Hatton Midgett, the Manteo board of commissioners during their mid-month meeting Tuesday night, unanimously adopted an amendment to the town codes prohibiting "the elimination of human waste...
...If it is true that history will judge our civilization by the way we treat our animals, then the U.S...
...May I suggest that you delete the word "elderly" from your reporters' future stories...
...For example, the draft of Article 35 read: "Women in the USSR have equal rights with men...
...November 16, 1984] Scottsdale Daily Progress For 3,000 moral virtuosi hope comes to "the valley," along with God knows how many fresh cases of Gay Bowel Syndrome: They can't put a photo of the person they love most on their desk at work...
...Who can qualify for that attention if not the dying in Ethiopia...
...But there is nothing-not one word-about abortion in the Gospels...
...But page after page is filled with denunciation of the privileged and a call for justice to the lowly, the poor, the humble, the excluded, the weak...
...Garry Wills: Some would dismiss the bishops' draft on the grounds that liberals were resisting their views on abortion before the election-how can they accept their views on economics afterward...
...It will be the Valley's fourth annual Gay Pride March...
...But what about the decent, caring, compassionate, idealistic people of America...
...They shouldn't mind...
...I am ashamed of the selfishness that characterizes our business and personal values...
...Take the case of a man, a vigorous 62, fresh from jogging his usual two miles that morning and on his way to a client meeting, who witnesses an accident...
...Sex is about dominance, and keeping the female unsatisfied is an expression of same...
...One woman wrote: "Why have men been chosen as the principal standard...
...It is a stereotype that implies that the descriptee is frail and somewhat doddering and-despite the fact that he or she may be in vigorous command of all mental and physical functions-over the hill...
...In fact, there is very little about sex or "private morality," as it is called...
...Quite a reasonable question, isn't it...
...In your report you pay just tribute to any man, on the senile side of 60, who can overcome his own disabilities to come to the aid of others...
...But they are told that is wrong, unnatural and not normal...
...November 22, 1984] Mother Jones An obligato reassurance from David Osborne, MTs political affairs expert and prophet-in-residence: Yes, Ronald Reagan was reelected by a landslide, but so were Richard Nixon and Lyndon Johnson...
...Ronald Reagan's victory will have a lasting impact, will create the historic realignment of which Republicans dream, only if his policies work...
...Why are women to be accorded equality with them and not vice versa...
...That fact alone should caution us against reading too much into Reagan's sweep, for both Nixon and Johnson proceeded to lead their parties over a cliff...
...They can't talk about all the excitement they feel when the one who loves them does something special...
...The bald eagle is the official symbol of the United States...
...the work to draw up Soviet laws is carried on at government levels with the participation not only of competent jurists, but also of broad sections of the population...
...December 1984] Baltimore Sun High ratiocinations from the sempiter-nally high Dr...
...It has been said that the only bigotry left in the United States today, that is considered socially acceptable, is from those who put them down...
...This year I'm pretty confident we'll have 3,000 (marchers)," said Kirk Baxter, president of the Arizona Lesbian and Gay Task Force, organizers of the march...
...In order to get in the front door, you have to show a membership card...
...Don't they vote, too...
...Couldn't their views be impressed upon this country's political apparatus...
...We loved Plato's Retreat in L.A.-it's a great little nude swingers' club and we found it to be a wonderful outlet for inhibitions, pent-up frustrations, and sluggish thinking...
...CURRENT WISDOM Salt Lake Tribune A cri de coeur from what sounds very much like a member of the Union of Concerned Scientists, alone and shivering in the Salt Lake Gulag: As displaced people from Los Angeles (displaced is right-this place is like a prisoner of war camp) we can't help but be horrified by the extreme right wing attitude and moral majority mentality displayed here...
...The graduate of liberation and other progressive movements...
...It isn't as if the owners are going to go out on the streets and manhandle reluctant customers to come in...
...After all, they too will age numerically if their health holds up, and few major newspapers hire "elderly" reporters...
...And who can forget the little mongrel named Checkers, Vice Presidential candidate Richard Nixon's best friend...
...They are human beings loving human beings...
...The lessons of November 6, 1984, in other words, should be drawn with care...
...The stigma of being somewhat decrepit is permanently attached to him from the time of your reporter's description...
...All the negative publicity generated by Plato's Retreat is indicative of the smug conceited thinking of the majority of this state's population...
...Do your writers realize what effect this designation has on people so termed...
...As a result, changes were made in 110 out of the 173 articles in the draft of the Constitution...
...October 1984] The Emory Wheel Outdoor sport at Emory University reported in precise detail by an aspiring Woodward or Bernstein: There was an exhibitionist reported on the path between the Fishburne parking deck and Woodruff Library...
...June 14, 1984...
...This is a privilege, folks...
...So Julio gives many women in fantasy what they yearn for in real life...
...As if it weren't bad enough to be told what we can watch on television, how much we can imbibe and where, now we are totally dismayed to find that Plato's Retreat has been denied a license to operate...
...Kalman Phillips Sherman Oaks [September I, 1984] Village Voice Still more evidence to fortify the late George Jean Nathan's findings that between the male and female of the species the latter have more salacious minds: Julio Iglesias's timbre and cadence carry a powerful hidden message...
...Elderly Man Saves Two...
...Well, he has not talked to me...
...I am ashamed that not everyone in this country has equal rights although we have equal problems...
...Salt Lake City is like a satellite country of the USSR...
...Dropping his briefcase, he extricates woman and child from their car just before it goes up in flames at considerable risk to himself...
...your headline will trumpet...
...The final version of Article 35 now reads: "Women and men have equal rights in the USSR...
...January 1985] Soviet Life In the pages of a superb publication, abundant with all the generous sentiments so plentiful in the socialist motherland, a patriot makes one more effort to undue the decades of slander...
...If Utah were a nation, Jerry Falwell would be president...

Vol. 18 • March 1985 • No. 3


 
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