The Continuing Crisis

o ~ 6 e e e e e e e oee e e e e ~ o e e 6 e e e o e j e , e ~ e e e e e e eee e e e e e o e e ~ e e e e e e e e e eee e e o j e e e e e e ~ e e e e e e e e ~ e e e e o e e e e e e e ~ e e e ~ e e e...

...magazine has again published its catalogue of ideologically acceptable gi~s...
...In China, Mr...
...Yuri V. Andropov became the Woodrow WUson of the Soviet Union, American sanctions against companies doing business on the Soviet pipeline levitated, General William C. Westmoreland led an incongruous band of Viemam Veterans d~n Pennsylvania Avenue, and Mr...
...Police Chief Maurice Turner described the outburst as a "blind and senseless rage," but then he obviously does not appreciate the thrill of riding a brand new bicycle...
...is Yuletide heave aside all the cant about the joy of giving...
...Watch for Sister Boom Boom to be on the ~dium at the 1 Democratic Conventionl eNo sooner were the early Novem, bet elections over rahab pols began to choke on their dinner--make of it missing b~yof the late Mrs...
...Robert Weigie, the new chief probation officer, alarmed civil libertarians and offended naturalists by suggesting that criminals could be allowed to live outside prison if they would ague to have homing devices attached to their wrists or implanted in their brains so that police might monitor their movements...
...And San Franciscans continued to chuckle and slap their thighs over the fact that in the November elections they almost raised to their absurd Board of Supervisors Sister Boom Boom, a.k.a...
...Apparently it had been interred with that of another woman after being left m the Dade County medical examiner's office where funeral home workers, a~anging the burial of a wom~ who wanted to be interred with her pets, had picked up the wrong bag...
...Papa Brezhnev went off to bring Marxism to the worms...
...Weigie is a foyer television anchorman...
...According to ~cer Weigle...
...Some people in Boulder, Colorado decide d to change ~1 that...
...The quacks are being sued by Christine Lynne Oliver for injudici~sly perfoxing a sex-change operation on her while she was non compos mentis...
...Disappointingly...
...It is they who exalt the recipient w~e depreciating the giver...
...Zhang Hua...
...And in No,hampton, England those two Salvation Army sisters who went on an orgy of sex and black magic were given two - and five-year sentences respectively after admitting to lewd conduct wit& young girls between the ages of 12 and lS...
...Jack Fertig, a red-haired professional astrologer and pa~-time sports-center attendant at the San Francisco Jewish Community Center...
...A West German televis{on audience watching a talk show whose topic was "The New Nudity" was rendered aghast and probably ill when a porci~ 61.yearold moth~ of seven rose up before ~e camera and striped while shouting, "It's my cosmic love cheryl" *Female ficMen~s has landed fo~ Minneapolis doctors in court...
...RET HE AMERICAN SPEcTATOR JANUARY 19~ 9...
...eFinaliy, at the end of the month the first Ku Klux Klan rally in the Nation's capital since i925 led to near-dot when a crowd of almost 500 anti-Klan demonstrators began hurling bricks and bottles and stealing bicycles...
...Richard Boiling...
...Send them [sic] the AntiHeadache Bio-Feedback System...
...tone the anthem and refrain, "Morel More...
...Its audible biofeedback signals help cure headaches by teaching one how to relax tense face and neck muscles...
...the plan would be "similar to air ~affic control...
...Zhang Shaoxue, president of the recently established Student Ethics Committee of the CMnese People's U nive~ity, solemnized the death of a medical student, Mr...
...The iowa Council on Social Ser~i~s has decreed that inmates in the state's hoosegows may read hardcore porn so long as it is not too expensi~ or difficult and does not include te~s dealing with bestiali~, sadomasochism, child nudity, or child sexual activity...
...ein Santa Clara County', Califo~ia, Mr...
...The oast is a pal~ $159.50...
...eln mid, November Mr...
...Ms...
...Going in drag has taught me a lot about the oppression of women," he admonished...
...Secretary of State 9 of three, and she now insists that he was suffering "short-term delusions" when he presented his manh oo d t o t h e ,b o d y s h o p. M i s s S u s a n Liptrot of Miami, Florida is suing a young dandy for $1CO,~ cl~ming that in a blatant breach of contact he gave her Herpes Simplex #2 on the libidinous evening of Nowember 22, 1980, the 163rd anniversary of the bi~ih of George Eliot...
...Geoffrey ~me, a British linguistics expel, pleaded guilty to passing secrets to Soviet agents...
...It is ~e time to give, and--far more im~rtant-the time to receive...
...has found George Schultz was rushed to a hospital choking on his lunch, and an undownable piece of lobster almost killed Rep...
...sings...
...What is it that we are seeking...
...And while on the subject of feminist fa~ tales come true, Ms...
...Some ~I1 scoff at this as excessive materialism, but let not the goody-goody Liberals be among ~e scoffers...
...James McQuiston, a divorced father what you will...
...It is they who have made receifing a fight to be insisted upon and revered...
...Christine was originally Mr...
...Zhang Hua," he declared, "has provided an answer to what we've been discussing and thinking about--What is life's purpose and value...
...o ~ 6 e e e e e e e oee e e e e ~ o e e 6 e e e o e j e , e ~ e e e e e e eee e e e e e o e e ~ e e e e e e e e e eee e e o j e e e e e e ~ e e e e e e e e ~ e e e e o e e e e e e e ~ e e e ~ e e e e e e e e o e e e e e e e o e e e e e e o e e ~ e e e e e e e e e e e e e e e e e e e e e e ~ e e e e e e e e e . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . ~ . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . ~ ~ , , - . , ~ . : - - . , ,. 9 T H.E C 0 N T I NU I N G C R I S i S , o ~ ~ ,,~ ,,, ,,,, ,~,, ~ ~ ::__~ ~ . . . . . . ~ .. ~ ~ ~, ,:,,,,,,,,, , . . . . . . . . . ~ . . . . . . . : : : : _ ~ : : ~ , - " r...
...Among the requirements are of course "top quality," but vigilance must be shown toward proper packaging--" does the box show boys and girls of different races equally at play...
...If every legislator had to wear heels, a corset, fake eye lashes and a zipper up the back, we'd have the Equal Rights Amend~nt passed in a week...
...What is more, in a post.election inte~iew Sister Boom Boom manifested a modern political instinct that could make him a national performer...
...The ybung man had expired in a vat of fermenting excrement...
...In theo~ and m practice they are the historic extollers of receifing...
...and does it give an accurate presentation of the product inside...
...Follow the Liberals' counsel...
...cOn November 10, Mr...
...The result: Play Fair, a nonsexist, multicultural collection of kids' toys . . . . Set in its ~n small house it's a feminist fairy tale come true...
...I saw mainly blond, blue-eyed boys engaged in active play...
...Approach friends and family alike with hands outstretched and palms up...
...November passes, and the Christmas sea~n approaches...
...Reason resumes its sway...
...Nonetheless Ms.'s Red Guards did find some tolerable children's toys, for instance: a Four Alarm Fire Engine, "Hurray for a riding toy decorated with pictures of both boy and girl firefighters (though the boy is ~fing and the faces are all Caucasion)," and an Anatomically Correct Male Doll, "Movable joints, pliable ~dy, drinks and wets . . . . . Let's hope that Sebino, the Italian manufa~urer that ~ready markets black and Orient~ dolls, will continue to expand in those directions...
...To the recipient they compose poetry and song, ~owing ever more rhapsodic in propo~ion to the amount he takes in, while his benefactor is increasingly suspect and harassed by dozens of vulpine government agencies, including the IRS...
...Listing his profession as "nun of the above," Sister Boom Boom attended all candidates' events attired in a miniski~ed nun's habit and came in ninth in a field of 2~less than ten percentage ~ints short of winning one of the five contested seats...
...Emilie Spaeth...
...Moreover, ~ provos the war against stereotypes, there am palmy po~ents: "Tired of toy stores that separate gifts ~om boys...
...Lech Walesa was returned to his G~nsk home 11 months after Poland's progressives arrested him and broke up Solidarity...
...In the perfect gift for all its engag$ Miami authorities have i~ated the re~ers: "Know someone with headaches...
...The mystery even crossed the Atlantic where the Queen Mother was rushed to a London hospital with a fish bone lodged in her throat...

Vol. 16 • January 1983 • No. 1


 
Developed by
Kanda Sofware
  Kanda Software, Inc.