The Great American Saloon Series/Billy Goat's
Ertel, George
THE GREAT AMERICAN SALOON SERlES BILLY GOAT'S by George Ertel. Chicago's Magnificent Mile is eleven blocks of Michigan Avenue, from the Wrigley Building and Tribune Tower north to fashionable Oak...
...They lost the Series...
...The room is always crowded around noon, but you can get a seat if you have good luck and fast reflexes...
...Lynn discovered the Goat's while a student at a local secretarial college...
...When you come to Chicago, you may want to see the art institute, the museums of natural history and science and industry, the zoos...
...Billy Goat's has no mechanical bull...
...One Friday night, Sianis bought the bar with that five dollars and two checks for $100 each...
...Probably you'll go to the top of the Sears Building or the John Hancock and look over the city...
...blow-ups of their by-lines share wallspace with the anti-Calvert's signs...
...You add to the burger to suit yourself at the condiment counter, then find a table...
...Don't mess with the Goat...
...Bill Sianis, who had comt from Greece to Chicago 25 years earlier with five dollars in his pocket, hustled newspapers (among other things) until he had-another five-dollar bill...
...Two signs at either end of the L-shaped bar inform customers that that booze will never again be poured in the establishment...
...You don't go to Billy Goat's for glamour...
...Why is Billy Goat's so popular...
...First there's the red, yellow, and green mural of the Goat on the street-side wall...
...There are no waiters in tuxedos and no waitresses in fishnet stockings-if you want another beer, just ask the kid when he comes by...
...drink at Billy Goat's...
...What Billy Goat's is not is pretentious, nor is it trendy...
...Being close to the Stadium, Billy Goat's was the watering hole of professional athletes...
...Billy took Billy to the I960 Republican Convention-smuggled him past security in an ABC bag...
...Lynn always gets a seat...
...Stanley used to sit on the steps along with the pigeons- Stanley the wino-until one of the Tribune's pudgy little reporters' human-interest stories got him hauled off to a suburban rehabilitation center...
...The drinks are cheap, the bar is formica, the floor is a checkerboard of black and white asphalt tile...
...Billy Goat's is for people who can enjoy themselves without dependence upon the latest fashion, commercial titillation, or a facade of genteelness...
...In 1934, Billy Goat's was a couple of miles west, just across the street from the Chicago Stadium...
...If you don't like the way I serve, the prices I charge, or the way I run this institution-then BUY ME OUT...
...Owner Sam Sianis knows how to get Billy Goat's in the newspapers...
...Lest you think that this goat was mere whimsy, why, think again...
...After you've seen the sights, go see the people...
...President to you, Mike...
...And below the by-lines are bowling trophies and photos of celebrities and notables-I recognize only Ohio Governor Jim Rhodes and gossip columnist Irv Kupcinet-and a chubby-legged Miss Greece- circa, I'll guess, 1952 Well, hell...
...Just watch out for the pigeons...
...Well, not precisely on the Magnificent Mile: under it...
...But even without Stanley as a landmark, you won't miss Billy Goat's...
...You may want to see some examples of Frank Lloyd Wright's architecture...
...Along the way are Tiffany's, Saks, Peacock's, I. Magnin, Elizabeth Arden's, Marshall Field's (in the three million square-foot Water Tower Place shopping extravaganza), and, perhaps in a year or so, Nieman-Marcus: the shops where the city's elegant folk spend $300 million annually...
...The pressmen started coming to Billy Goat's when the saloon moved from the Stadium to its present location between the city's two newspapers...
...Billy Goat's is a saloon for beer, burgers, and conversation...
...This fin, though, was for investing...
...And just around the corner, extending from above the red door is the carved wood sign: BILLY GOAT'S TAVERN est...
...Billy Goat's is what they're talking about...
...Because of what it is, and also because of what it is not...
...There's a lower Michigan Avenue that connects to other subterranean streets in downtown Chicago-they're for delivery trucks, express buses, and cars that decline to compete with pedestrians...
...Chicago's Magnificent Mile is eleven blocks of Michigan Avenue, from the Wrigley Building and Tribune Tower north to fashionable Oak Street...
...Billy Goat, may he rest in peace, passed the torch to his nephew, Sam Sianis, and every noon Sam is behind the counter in the center of the room taking orders...
...One afternoon, a billy goat fell off a passing truck and wandered into the saloon...
...John drops in occasionally, after work or maybe in lieu of the second half of an evening MBA class at Northwestern...
...You can sit at any of about three dozen tables, all laminated with red and white plastic to look like they've got tablecloths...
...service entrance...
...Now Lynn works on the other side of the business district, but she's still a Friday night regular...
...There is also a sign cautioning newspaper pressmen about getting the bar stools dirty...
...What it is is an on-going press release...
...Last August, when the Chicago White Sox were for sale, Sam was the first bidder to show money-$20...
...Other announcements adorn the walls: "We reserve the right to set our patrons...
...Many of Royko's essays are set in the saloon, with patrons providing whatever insightful social commentary Mike wishes to put in their mouths...
...When the goat was thrown out of Wrigley Field after Billy Goat had bought them two box seats for the 1945 World Series, Billy was so angered that he hexed the Cubs...
...In September, Billy Goat's hosted a public relations event for an international backgammon tournament, thereby publicizing the saloon as well as the tournament...
...That made it a hangout for reporters, too...
...in fact, the team hasn't so much as won a National League Pennant since...
...Reporters and columnists still frequent the place...
...By the following Monday morning, he had poured enough beer to keep the checks from bouncing...
...No one ever tried to dance the Latin Hustle by the juke box...
...The hundred-story John Hancock Building and other skyscrapers along the Mile house advertising agencies, publishers, broadcasters...
...Lest patrons be unaware of Billy Goat's press celebrity, Sam has a "Wall of Fame" with blow-ups of newspaper articles illuminated with spotlights...
...Stop in for a drink at Billy Goat's...
...1934...
...Unfortunately, Billy Goat's puts no insightful social commentary in Mike -only beer-so his readers are lectured on the newly discovered sagacity of Jerry Brown, the man Royko previously called "Governor Moonbean," and on the anticipated failings of Ronald Reagan-Mr...
...You've heard that on "Saturday Night Live...
...Lunch for hundreds of Chicagoans daily is a double cheese (as we say), a 50 cent draft beer, and a bag of potato chips...
...We will not cash any personal checks . . . not even mine...
...Chizbuhgah chizbuhgah chizbuh-gah no fries no fries...
...Sun-Times columnist Mike Royko uses Billy Goat's in his work...
...Billy Goat Tavern and Grill is here, too...
...People make room for her, because no one is absolutely certain that her threat to dance on their table if they don't find another chair is just talk...
...for Billy Goat's, a front door...
...The biggest seller must be the double cheeseburger...
...no french fries...
...And while you drink your beer, you can eat a sandwich and chips...
...The billy goat became, well, like a son to Billy Goat...
...Such publicity-seeking is good-natured, though...
...A Calvert's salesman ignored that advice, got himself into a fight with Billy Goat, and his brand has not been sold in Billy Goat's Tavern from that day forward...
...He can relax there with a couple of beers and a couple of buddies as he puts the events and issues of the day into manageable perspective...
...Visitors fill the 10,000 rooms offered by the Marriott, the Ritz-Carlton, the Drake, and other fine hotels...
...For everyone else, it's a George Ertel is a market analyst in Chicago...
...Any sandwich you can grill...
...They roost on the pillars that keep upper Michigan upper and on the railings of the staircase leading down from the sunlight...
...Billy Goat's is simple...
...A patron-occupation: barrister-convinced Billy Goat Sianis that adopting the goat would be nothing less than appropriate, so the goat became a regular, too...
Vol. 14 • January 1981 • No. 1
