Instant Replay
Nollson, John
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...I soon discovered that the machine had convenient features...
...he said, clinching the deal...
...I could also freeze a particularly tense moment and ponder it...
...By pushing the "fast-forward" button, I was able to advance the tape to a discussion of dolphins...
...The host's old English sheepdog, in need of a haircut, meandered aimlessly about...
...One of the children, trying to perform a reverse back flip off the diving board, was knocked unconscious after his head grazed the end of the springy plank...
...That's it...
...There is something appealing about the actuality...
...One of the videotapes was much like the first, but the second recorded a backyard barbecue and splash party...
...Nothing dispelled the gloom...
...It was now tied one set apiece...
...Because a hand-held camera had been used, I was able ro follow the guests out the door as they took their leave and got into their automobiles...
...That's the bonus...
...When I heard about your mishap," he said, "I knew you were sure to be depressed...
...The women adjourned to the drawing room for billiards, cigars, and brandy...
...Tell me," my friend said, as he came to collect his equipment the next day, "would you subscribe if you had the chance...
...One got a proper sense of the balance and symmetry of the passage of rolls and salt...
...The nuance gets lost if you have to rely on the society page of the newspaper...
...The tape had been made with expertise...
...Remember...
...But, if you subscribe now, I'll give you a reduced rate and a bonus...
...He was carrying a videotape machine and several large cassettes...
...So I arranged to record the entire evening on videotape and replay it for you...
...One such was the arm wrestling match between two eminent professors, staged after the table had been cleared...
...It was fortunate, therefore, to be able to switch off the machine and doze...
...He, too, had been lucky enough to wangle an invitation to the dinner party...
...I realized that 1 had been scheduled to attend this event too, and I was glad I had missed none of it, especially the dramatic rescue...
...Lovely setting...
...Nor the decision to hang tough after reading How to Prevent Your Second Divorce from Becoming a Pretext for Sliding Back into Remarriage to Your First Wife...
...You see, after these parties are over and I gather up my stuff, I always remember to swipe a souvenir or two...
...he asked...
...The commercial possibilities are limited only by the bounds of my own imagination...
...Then the tape went blank...
...How could I forget...
...Meanwhile, on the tennis court, the struggle for Reagan's mind continued...
...Especially compelling were those scenes captured by the camera suspended from the ceiling, directly over the dinner table...
...The party had entered its seventh hour and the cartridge could run fi)r only six...
...Screen test...
...When I found that I could not grasp one particularly critical exchange, I reversed the tape and replayed the scene in slow motion...
...What's more, my tapes can provide something which simply isn't available from the print medium--intimacy...
...He hooked the tape machine into the television set that Blue Cross was providing...
...I felt obliged to respond...
...For the first thousand subscribers, there will be a special girl...
...Exactly," my friend agreed...
...His forelock hung over his eyes and he kept bumping into people...
...The jealous rival who had deliberately sabotaged the ball bearings on my roller skates had caused me to miss an important social event, a dinner party...
...Eventually the hostess entered the drawing room and, turning to her companions, asked, "Ladies, shall we rejoin the gentlemen...
...The scene was so lifelike that I was driven to reach into my wallet and throw some currency on the table, as the other guests were doing...
...Yes, just a trial run," he breezed...
...I wagered 23 dollars and it was just as well that I was not there, because my man lost...
...A bonus...
...Do you remember the dinner with the arm-wrestling match...
...The next day, my considerate friend returned...
...My friend gave me a short course in operating the machinery and then took his leave, pleading a reunion of the crew of his college's eight-oared rowing shell...
...Nothing worked...
...Take a look at these and tell me what you think," he requested...
...For me...
...I asked, scarcely containing my delight...
...Fortunately, one of my friends came to my rescue...
...They wanted to play billiards and smoke cigars...
...But I had more reason than that to feel sorry for myself...
...Sure thing," I said, hoping to encourage him in this useful enterprise...
...And you remember the table...
...Why, these programs are even more necessary than the newsletters and magazines I get in the mail...
...I propose to record such events and make the videotapes available to a select group of subscribers...
...Thus refreshed, I depressed the "play" button and was able to follow the conversation with a clearer head...
...Six people had gone to the tennis court for a game of mixed triples...
...Indeed, it was impossible to tell who was seated above the salt and who below, so artfully had the customary perspective been altered...
...Oh, yes," I agreed...
...He fell into the pool but was saved from certain death by the intervention of four of the guests...
...Children had been invited to the gathering...
...He reached into his attach~ case and pulled out two more cartridges...
...I had come to grief at the roller disco, and was confined to the hospital for surgical repair of torn ligaments in my left knee...
...It will take six hours to get through the dinner, so why don't you settle back and relax...
...Even though you weren't there, you get to keep the centerpiece[" I-7 22 THE AMERICAN SPECTATOR AUGUST 1980...
...I had spent months angling for an invitation, and I was very put out...
...What was at stake was nothing less than control of the mind of Ronald Reagan...
...Of course...
...What did you think of the screen test...
...For free...
...Not the money I was sure to make after reading You Too Can Profit From Armageddon I f You Play the Percentages Right...
...I had always thought that I could use a short nap between the time the china, silver, and glassware were removed and the time I would be asked to join the other men in the sewing room...
...I exclaimed...
...I may even arrange to have them shown on cable television to certain privileged viewers...
...Mostly, the men just griped...
...Some of them were old enough to remember the old days when they were allowed to...
...Absolutely,'.' he promised...
...Obviously, three cameras had been used, and truly dramatic perspectives had been edited into the tape without any loss of continuity...
...You see, I have started a business...
...Finally the evening wound to a close...
...Well," he answered, "it will cost eleven dollars a month...
...The men were taken to the sewing room...
Vol. 13 • August 1980 • No. 8
