Ecological Homicide
Paul Seabury ECOLOGICAL HOMICIDE The Environment's impact statement. Limit the use of electric appliances as much as possible during peak time, between five and seven in the evening. During these...
...When he finally came out he was not smiling...
...My cross-country jogging done in lieu of my abandoned driving now endangered plants...
...I have renounced pesticides...
...The Environment, he replied, was having second thoughts about me...
...flushed my brick-filled toilet but twice a day...
...I would start my night-soil compost heap the very next Monday...
...I swat flies with flyswatters...
...My detergents had turned the Pacific into a swamp...
...Through frequent letters, I was forcing my congressman to place love over lobbies, and my new buying habits were convincing industry that a dead planet was bad for business...
...I had my vasectomy last month...
...Ecology looked at me directly as he spoke...
...The Environment, Ecology said, was burdened by my several sins and iniquities...
...I had hot sandblasted my house to rid it of leaded paint which little children would pick off and chew, retarding their little minds...
...Ecology smiled and disappeared into the Tabernacle...
...Not one of the interconnections in the great web of the Environment...
...Ecology observed that I was a burden on the Environment nonetheless...
...I reject picture-perfect but environmentally dangerous fruits in favor of wizened but safe organic crops...
...Where had I gone wrong...
...I asked...
...My extensive correspondence with lawmakers on the subject of forest conservation I willfully mailed in envelopes instead of folding, sealing, and addressing the recycled sheets as instructed...
...I had given up my job at the nearby GM assembly plant and had told the manager why...
...I grind my fleas between my fingernails...
...For months I had packed my organic lunches in a metal lunch box instead of brown bags...
...I use ground hot pepper spray and tweezers to remove hornworms from my tomatoes...
...What more can I do to show my fealty...
...I no longer used tinted toilet paper...
...The Environment, he said, had a question by way of answering my questions...
...During these hours an overload is put on our present electrical power plants and encourages the building of new plants for our environment to contend with...
...Now, I used only biodegradable dental floss and Paul Seabury is professor of political science at the University of California, Berkeley...
...Does "population explosion" mean somebody else...
...Not one of the facets of the delicate system of systems...
...The Environment knew I was not returning my used plastic bags to the bakery and was thus still depleting his fossil fuels...
...In my small way I had revised my living activities so as to reclaim the planet for the Environment...
...I blow my nose in scraps of old cloth...
...Ecology told me the Environment was vexed with me again...
...I was a backslider...
...Did I not consider wearing my greatcoat, muffler, and earmuffs indoors to conserve natural gas...
...When I jogged over to see him in my organic jumpsuit, I found he had withdrawn into his Tabernacle, so I had a word instead with his deputy, Ecology...
...What, pray, I asked Ecology, am I not, too, a link in the Chain of Being...
...Did I not know that all forms of pollution and' overuse now were traced to my very existence...
...I have cancelled my subscriptions to all slick magazines...
...Each week, heavily laden, I led forced marches of neighbors to the distant recycling center...
...my deodorant had slashed a hole in the ozone layer...
...I was a major site of overconsumption, waste, and pollution...
...hat more does the Environment want of me...
...I asked Ecology, what more...
...How many times had I heard that before...
...Last week I had discarded shelves of canned pet food, when told they might contain remains of wild mustangs, porpoises, whales, or whooping cranes...
...Somewhere else...
...For that matter, when did I plan to stop eating plants altogether...
...I no longer shower...
...No longer did I use my electric toothbrush during peak-load hours, thus to discourage construction of nuclear facilities...
...What had I done now, I asked, once more to merit his wrath...
...The Environment, he said, now believed there was one too many of me.one too many of me...
...I was mistakenly using paper cups and plates to conserve dishwater when I knew full well that trees came first...
...Ecology Begins at Home Yesterday I learned that the Environment wanted to have a word with me...
...I had not removed the metal rings and foil from my non-returnable bottles before recycling...
...I jog to the welfare office to pick up my checks...
Vol. 12 • June 1979 • No. 6
